Being kind is very important for those who give more purpose to life and have a more harmonious relationship with other people. Thus, it is possible to improve communication routes, be more understanding and bring good things to everyone's lives. However, generosity and kindness must come from within - and while some develop them naturally, others must devote themselves to cultivating them.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Developing a Kinder Perspective
Step 1. Really take care of others
At the very least, being "kind" and "kind" is about caring for others: wanting what's best for them and recognizing that they want, need, and even fear the same things we do. In addition, it's about being tough, patient, loyal and grateful. Italian psychotherapist Piero Ferrucci believes it is about "trying less," as it frees us from negative attitudes and feelings, such as resentment, envy, jealousy, distrust, and manipulation. In the end, being kind is taking care of everyone.
- Learn to be kind and generous to people. You can only "unrust" and stop being shy through practice - putting the qualities out until they become natural impulses.
- Don't ask for anything back. Being kind is not a trade-in or condition-based activity.
Step 2. Don't be kind just to get what you want
Do not misrepresent the meaning of the word. Being kind is not about "interested education, calculated generosity or superficial etiquette," much less about changing interests or controlling people. You can't plant good fruit just in the hope of pretending and disguising what you feel for someone.
Finally, stop being submissive. This type of behavior only harms and delays the lives of those involved, especially those who allow themselves to be manipulated
Step 3. Be kind to yourself
Many people try to be kind to others, but they forget that they should also treat each other nice. This is because sometimes we don't like some of our characteristics - but in most cases it's because we don't know each other that well. Unfortunately, without this foundation of self-knowledge, it's much easier to be kind to others by expecting something in return or to end up disillusioned, since everyone else comes before us.
- Get to know yourself to understand what causes pain and conflict in your life so that you can adapt to these inconsistencies in your daily life and seek more happiness as a whole. Also, when we get to know ourselves, we manage not to project our negative aspects onto others and end up treating them with due respect.
- Spend time self-discovery and learning to be kinder to yourself (remembering that everyone has weaknesses) and to others. In this way, it is easier to deal with the internal anguish without projecting the pain and hurts on those who are not at fault.
- Don't think it's selfish of you to take this time to get to know yourself better. On the contrary: it is a necessary period to determine your strengths and show them to the world.
- Reflect on what you think it is to be kind to yourself. For many people, it has to do with self-control in social interactions and negative thinking.
Step 4. Learn to be kind with the help of others
Think of the good people around you and what they make you feel: do they fill your heart with joy? Probably yes - because joy is contagious even in the face of challenges. When others love us despite our shortcomings, it's impossible to forget those good feelings.
Remember how kind people make your days better. Why do they make you feel special and loved? Do they do anything you can be inspired by and repeat?
Step 5. Cultivate kindness to take care of your own health
It takes positive thinking to have more balanced mental health - and being kind is a consequence of that. Although "kindness" is defined as the act of being willing to help others, returning the gesture generates a feeling of well-being and affection that makes anyone healthier and happier.
Although it sounds simple, the ability to be kind in itself is a great reward, capable of boosting self-esteem
Step 6. Learn to always put kindness first
American blogger Leo Babauta says that everyone can cultivate the habit of being kind. He recommends that people only need to focus on acts of kindness for about 30 days. At the end of this month, you can see several internal and external changes, as in the relationship with others. In the long run, Batauta says that kindness is "karma in practice." Here are some suggestions for cultivating these habits:
- Make a kind gesture for someone every day. As soon as you wake up, make a conscious decision to do something good for someone throughout the day.
- Be kind, friendly and understanding in your interactions with people, even more so with those who make you angry, stressed or annoyed. Use kindness as a strength.
- Transform small acts of kindness into big acts of compassion. Do volunteer work with those in need and take the initiative to reduce the suffering of these people, for example.
- Meditate to learn to distribute your kindness. Read How to Practice Loving Kindness Meditation (Metta) to find out more.
Step 7. Be kind to everyone, not just the "need" ones
Expand your circle. It's very easy to be kind when we do what's called "condescending kindness": when we're good only to those we think we need (the sick, the poor, the vulnerable, and those who share our ideals). Furthermore, caring for people who are emotionally close (family and friends) or in other ways (same country, same skin color, same gender, etc.) is also easier than caring for those whom the philosopher Hegel called of "the others". Finally, it can be more difficult to be kind to individuals we consider to be similar to us-but it's worth it.
- The problem with limiting our kindness to "convenient" cases is that we are thus unable to recognize that we need to be kind to everyone, regardless of any factors (such as social status, values and beliefs, behavior and attitudes, origin, etc.).
- When we choose to be kind only to those we consider worthy, we expose our judgmental and prejudiced sides. It is necessary to show the same kindness to everyone, because learning (internally and with others) never ends.
- If you deny being kind to other people because you think they're "on their own," you're just being selective.
Step 8. Stop criticizing and judging others
Only then is it possible to be truly kind. Don't talk bad about people and learn to be more positive and understanding. If you are too critical or think others are clueless or too needy, you will never learn what it is to be kind. Learn to put yourself in their shoes and focus on helping rather than mulling over ideas.
- You will never learn to be kind if you are too critical, gossipy, or rude to people.
- Give people the benefit of the doubt rather than expecting them to be perfect.
Part 2 of 3: Developing Qualities
Step 1. Be supportive
Apply the message "Be kind, each person you meet is facing an uphill battle" to your life. This phrase, attributed to Plato, says that every person we meet faces challenges of their own - and sometimes we end up forgetting that because of our personal problems. Before doing anything that might negatively impact another person, reflect, "Is that kind of me?" If the answer is "no", stop.
Even when you feel bad, remember that people are also insecure and feel pain, sadness, disappointment, and loss. This doesn't make your feelings less important, but it can help you understand that human beings react when they are in these situations. Being kind is ideal to help those who go through times like this
Step 2. Don't expect anyone to be perfect
If you have perfectionistic and competitive tendencies or a sense of urgency or immediacy, you may end up putting some qualities aside for fear of appearing lazy or selfish. Take it easy and forgive yourself when things go wrong.
Learn from your mistakes rather than dwell on them or compare yourself to others. That's the only way to see people's needs in a solidary way
Step 3. Be present
The greatest act of kindness one person can receive from another is full and complete attention. Stop always trying to run with all your commitments and start living each moment and enjoying the company and activities you do.
Prioritize personal and live communication, instead of always using your cell phone or the internet - which, while useful, are not the most effective tools. At the most, call the person and spend some time talking to them; send a letter instead of a WhatsApp message etc
Step 4. Learn to be a good listener
It may seem strange, as people place more importance on haste than quality. Still, this rush is no justification for lack of education. When talking to others, listen carefully to what they have to say and pay attention to the details of the story.
- Listen carefully, make eye contact, and avoid all distractions to show how kind you are. Soak up everything the person says before answering or interrupting them and show them that the situation is important and that they are there for good.
- Being a good listener doesn't always mean knowing how to solve problems. Sometimes the best we can do is listen, even if we admit we don't have advice for the person.
Step 5. Be optimistic
Happiness, joy and gratitude are at the heart of goodness and allow us to see the good of others and the world. Furthermore, they help us to face the challenges of everyday life, always restoring our faith in humanity. Have an optimistic attitude so that all your acts of kindness and kindness are natural and spontaneous, not obligatory or petty. Also, have a good sense of humor so that you don't take yourself too seriously in life's adverse moments.
- It's not always easy to be optimistic, especially after a tough day. Despite this, everyone manages to cultivate some joy and positive thoughts - as long as they "force themselves" a little, plan well for the future and try to live more joys than sorrows. Best of all, it's free.
- Being upbeat and positive not only makes your mind more prepared for acts of kindness, it also has a positive effect on those around you. Everything is more difficult for those who are always complaining.
- Read How to Be Happy, How to Be Funny, and How to Be More Grateful for more information on the subject.
Step 6. Be friendly
Kind people are also usually nice. It doesn't mean that they are totally extroverted, but that they try to meet new people and let everyone around them feel comfortable. For example, if a new colleague comes into the room or work, talk to them, explain how everything works, and invite them to cool social events. Even if this is difficult, smile and make small talk with people to get more used to it.
- Friendly people are kind because they always expect the best from others: they talk to new people easily and thus feel at ease.
- If you are shy by nature, you don't need to change your personality completely. Just try a little harder to be kind and attentive to others, ask how they are doing, and generally show interest.
Step 7. Be polite
While politeness is not an indicator of kindness in itself, being genuinely polite shows that you respect those around you, as well as getting their attention in a positive way. See some examples of actions:
- Find ways to rephrase your questions and answers to people. For example, say "I'm surprised" instead of "It's not fair" and "I'll try to explain it another way" instead of "That's not what I said." This is very important.
- Have good manners: hold the door for whoever comes behind, don't be too vulgar or go beyond the limits of intimacy.
- Praise people sincerely.
- Read How to Practice Courtesy and Kindness for more ideas.
Step 8. Show gratitude
Truly kind people are able to show gratitude and never forget the favors they receive. They know how to say "thank you" sincerely and aren't afraid to admit they got help. Plus, they give thanks even when they don't need to - for things that make their day better, for example. Learn to be more grateful in general to see the difference in your behavior.
Pay more attention to the good things people do for you so you can learn to give them back and be more inclined to show love and affection to others
Part 3 of 3: Taking the Right Actions
Step 1. Love animals and all living things
This is one of the best practical ways to be kind. No one is forced to care about other species, especially at a time when the tools of human domination are so powerful. Still, the act of loving and respecting an animal without expecting anything in return is an expression of immeasurable kindness, as is caring for the world - which gives us everything we need to live - and prevents it from being destroyed.
- Adopt a pet. The reward for this gesture of kindness will be the love and companionship of a pet.
- Be willing to take care of a friend's animal who is going to travel. Say that you will pay attention and affection to the animal and that it doesn't need to worry.
- Respect the species you are caring for. Humans do not "own" animals, but build a relationship with them for their mutual well-being.
- Take time to care for the environment with the local community. Go for a walk with family, friends or alone and be more active in the world. Share your love for nature and awaken the same in others.
Step 2. Share everything
People who are kind share and share willingly. For example, you can lend clothes to someone who is cold, share your lunch with someone who has nothing, or even advise someone who is younger. The important thing is to share the things that make sense in your life, not just the disposables. Be generous to train your kind side more and more.
Keep an eye out for people who really need your help. They may not ask for anything, but you can gladly offer them before they admit it
Step 3. Smile more
Smiling is a simple act, but it has a great effect. Smile at strangers, your friends, acquaintances, etc. You don't have to walk around with your face wide open all the time, but this gesture can make anyone's day happier - when used well. Furthermore, it also induces the feeling of joy. In other words: no one is harmed when they give or receive a smile.
You can also be nicer and make people more comfortable by smiling. This is one more way to be kind and receptive, even when you're surrounded by strangers
Step 4. Show interest in people
Truly kind people have a genuine interest in others. They don't do anything just because they want something in return, but because they care about the happiness and well-being of others. Learn to be more attentive and interested in those you live with. See some examples of legal ways to act:
- Ask how the person is.
- Ask her what she likes to do and what her family is like.
- If the person has been through an important event recently, ask what happened.
- If the person has a test or interview coming up, wish them good luck.
- In conversations, share speaking time fairly with the person. Don't dominate the dialogue and focus too much on yourself.
- Make eye contact and put your phone away to show that conversation is your priority.
Step 5. Call friends for no reason
Call one or two friends a week just to catch up and see how they are doing. Don't contact them just to make plans or invite the person to something specific; say that you miss her and that you have been thinking about her a lot. It makes anyone feel special and is a beautiful act of kindness and friendship.
If you don't have time in your everyday life, at least start calling your friends on their birthdays. Don't be lazy: you can even send a message or write a post on Facebook, but call ahead
Step 6. Donate to organizations and charities
This is another cool way to be kind. Instead of throwing things away or selling them after use, donate everything to charity: clothes, books and even household items are ideal, as long as they are in good repair.
If you have clothes or books that could suit someone you know, ask if they're interested. She will see your gentle side
Step 7. Demonstrate random gestures of kindness
As Princess Diana said, "Do something kind without planning, without expecting any reward, just knowing that someone else might one day do the same for you." These random acts are an effective and conscious attempt to spread good; there are even groups dedicated to this cause! See some cool examples:
- Clean your neighbor's sidewalk when you clean yours.
- Wash a friend's car.
- Donate money to collection boxes in stores.
- Help someone to carry heavy bags.
- Leave a gift at someone's doorstep.
- Read How to Practice Random Acts of Kindness.
Step 8. Transform your life with acts of kindness
Changing the way you live and see the world can be scary, but follow the words of author Aldous Huxley: "People ask me what is the most effective technique to transform life. After years and years of research, I get a little shy in saying that the best answer is 'be kinder'". Follow these precepts to seek positive change and leave the negative-aggression, hate, anger, fear, and self-criticism-behind you.
- By being kind, you can show that taking care of people, the environment, and yourself is your way of life. It's not about expressing affection all the time, it's about making conscious choices for the general good.
- When we are kind and kind, we stop comparing ourselves to others (and thinking that they have more than us or that they don't deserve so much the achievements they achieve, for example) or putting them in a position of superiority or inferiority. On the contrary: we affirm that everyone is important.
- When we are kind and kind, we recognize that we are all together - and that when one suffers, we all suffer. What we do for others turns into something good.
Tips
- Greeting everyone you meet throughout the day, from strangers to your boss, can make them very comfortable with your presence. Start doing this.
- It's normal not to like everyone. Even the most educated people get irritated from time to time. Still, keep being polite to everyone.
Notices
- Don't brag about your good deeds; Be humble. Doing something just for the compliments is not cool. Always try to keep your best intentions in mind.
- When you get angry or hurt with someone, remember that being kind is more satisfying than being vindictive. People give many excuses or justifications for their actions, but you can't not forgive when you're really kind.
- Reflect on whether the person wants to receive your act of kindness. Sometimes it backfires when we help others without them asking. The phrase "no good deed goes unpunished" is true: try not to cause trouble and only act when you have enough information about the case.