That dear aunt of yours knitted the most hideous sweater you've ever seen in your life? Did your friend buy a CD from a band you hate with all your might? You hardly know what to do in front of your children's expectant faces as they hand over that hideous pink and green polka dot tie? Knowing how to react to receiving a gift you didn't like is a real dilemma, but the sad reality is that everyone has been (or will) have been through it. And as much as you feel frustrated, there's no need to make the person who gave it feel bad too, is there?
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Saying the right thing
Step 1. Give Thanks
It doesn't matter whether you like it or not, saying “thank you” is the least you can do. Look the person in the eye to show your affection and gratitude.
- Say “Thank you! Really enjoyed".
- Complement the thanks by speaking of generosity and kindness: "What a generous gift!" or "How kind of you!"
Step 2. Consider the affection of the person who bought the gift
The surprise at an object that you will never use is so great that sometimes it is even difficult to smile or show gratitude. Forget the item for a moment and think about the appreciation deposited there.
- "Thank you very much! I know you bought it with great affection.”
- "I sincerely thank you for remembering me."
Step 3. Consider the good intention
Think about the person's reasons for thinking about you, and be grateful for that. Even though the choice was terrible, the intention was certainly the best.
- "You remembered my love for chocolate!"
- “Thank you so much for the colored socks. Winter is coming and I'm going to need to keep my feet warm.”
- “Thanks for the CD. I'm always looking for new things to increase my collection.”
Step 4. Ask questions
Ask what made the person remember you when they saw that object. This is a good tactic to deflect the discussion about whether or not to use the present. Ask where your friend bought it, if he has one or, if so, how best to use it. Generally speaking, when someone gets a bad gift, the best thing to do is focus on the giver, not yourself.
- “Do you also have this album? What is your favorite song?".
- “I've never seen socks like these. Where did you buy? You also have?"
- “This sweater is unlike any other I have. How long did it take you to knit it?"
Step 5. Lie (if not a problem)
If you don't have moral problems because of a little lie and don't want to hurt the person, say you loved the gift. Most people would rather say they liked it than tell the truth and make a family member or friend sad.
- Beware of the extent to which the lie can take. It's okay to say you liked it, but it goes without saying that it's the best thing you've ever received, nor that you're going to use it every day.
- If you don't want to lie, don't say you hated it either.
- "Thanks! It's a beautiful gift.”
- “I really liked it, thank you! In which store did you find it?”.
Step 6. Tell the truth if you are close
If it's someone you know well and have some freedom with, be honest. In the end, you're going to end up laughing together at this whole situation.
Getting a bad gift is no big deal, but lying can be a big problem
Step 7. Try to delay asking questions
If your friend notices that you don't like it, they can ask you a few questions to make sure you “really” like it or are going to use it. You have two alternatives: lie lightly or counter his questions with others so you don't have to answer.
- Try to get them to offer a suggestion of how/when to use the gift. Then say “I'll do it this way” and change the subject.
- In the case of a gift intended to be a joke, enter the game and say that there is no way you can use it.
Part 2 of 4: Reacting emotionally
Step 1. React immediately
Thank you as soon as you open it. If you open it and stand still, it will make it clear that you were disappointed.
Step 2. Make eye contact
Look the person in the eye and give thanks! Surprise may end up causing you to do some weird facial expression. However, even without immediately showing enthusiasm on your face, you can look your friend in the eye and say that you are grateful for the kindness.
Step 3. Smile
This is perhaps the hardest part, but if you're a good actor, you'll be able to hide it well. Try to remember the good intentions behind the gift and the person's desire to make you happy. That in itself is a great gift. Smile if you think the smile will look natural.
Don't give a forced smile. Everyone will see it's fake
Step 4. Give the person a hug
One of the ways to hide the expression of frustration and at the same time show gratitude is to give him a hug. Do this right after opening the gift.
A hug is the truest way of saying you appreciate the gesture behind the memory
Step 5. Act naturally
Don't try to fake enthusiasm, just be happy for the kindness. “He was trying to please me by buying this gift” is the kind of thing you can think of at the time.
If you can genuinely smile, smile. Otherwise, just say thank you
Part 3 of 4: Dealing with the Present
Step 1. Send a thank you message
While this advice can be used for any gift received, the importance for objects that were not appreciated is much greater. The person will feel more at ease knowing you like it. Send the message a few days later and don't forget to mention how much you appreciated the affectionate gesture. Do not go into details about the product itself.
- “Thank you so much for coming. It was very kind of you to bring a gift. I can imagine all the effort and time it took you to knit that sweater.”
- “I want to thank you for your presence at my party and for the gift. I am very happy to have another CD in my collection”.
Step 2. Pass the item forward
There is a solution for a gift you didn't like very much: give it to someone else. Just be careful that whoever bought it for you never finds out. Even if you've let on that you don't like it, it's not polite to give the item to someone else right away. Another thing you need to consider is whether the next owner will really like it. When in doubt, prefer to donate it to a charity or someone in need.
Step 3. Give it time
Usually, the anxiety and embarrassment associated with the moment are left behind. Over time, you might even appreciate the idea that went through the mind of the giver and think that what really matters is that it was something given from the heart. So if you haven't been candid from the start, don't be afraid to tell the truth later.
- Say you tried to use it but couldn't. Feign surprise that it didn't work out.
- Do your best to take it easy, but never let on that you would rather not have won the gift. Better to receive something that you didn't like, but that was given with affection, than to receive nothing.
- Ask if the person wants it back. If it's something your friend has hinted he'd like to have, ask him if he wants it. A lot of people say no out of politeness, and if he refuses, just accept it. Don't insist so that you don't look like you're trying to get rid of.
Part 4 of 4: Avoiding receiving bad gifts
Step 1. Make a wish list
Depending on the occasion, such as your birthday or Christmas, consider making a list of what you would like to earn, giving at least an idea of what you want. With people you are a little more intimate with, try to talk openly about what you want to receive from them. Don't forget to put some cheaper items in this list, giving some options to those who can't pay more, thus avoiding getting bad gifts.
- “I always listen to some music from the CD you gave me. I heard that [artist or band you like] is going to release an album soon, I'm dying to hear it.”
- “I love the socks you gave me, I wear them at home all the time when it's cold. In the same store where you bought them there are beautiful shoes that I'm looking for”.
Step 2. Be an example of giving good gifts
For those who already have a history of giving things you don't like, try to find out what they would like to get. Ask “What do you want to earn at the end of the year?”. If he says “Anything,” insist. Everyone has something they really want. The idea here is to make, through your curiosity to know what the person wants, they do the same with you.
Step 3. Speak the truth
If your friend or relative keeps insisting on giving questionable gifts, be honest before you end up having to dedicate an entire room of your house to unwanted objects. It is necessary, however, to be flexible so as not to offend the person. Subtly but clearly try saying something like "I'm not sure this kind of thing suits me."
- “I'm passionate about music, but sertanejo is not really my vibe. I'm from the rock crowd, do you understand?"
- "I don't even know how to thank you for knitting this sweater for me, but I don't think it matches my style very much."
- “I have to be honest: the socks you gave me don't match anything I have. I really appreciate it, but I don't know how to use them.”
Notices
- If the person is close, the best thing for them to do is to be completely honest about what you think of the item they received.
- If you decide to pass the gift on, give it to someone from another circle of friends, so as not to run the risk of the giver noticing that you gave it to someone else.