4 Ways to Build Trust

Table of contents:

4 Ways to Build Trust
4 Ways to Build Trust

Video: 4 Ways to Build Trust

Video: 4 Ways to Build Trust
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Trust is perhaps the most important factor for a successful relationship. One person trusts another when they feel they can share their vulnerable side with them, and we can all develop trust in our relationships as long as we are willing to make the effort. Building trust requires that someone make a commitment to behave credibly.

Steps

Method 1 of 4: Being Trusted

Build Trust Step 1
Build Trust Step 1

Step 1. Do what you say you are going to do.

One of the most important steps in building trust is keeping your word. Even if it's unimportant, canceling or not fulfilling a plan will create fine cracks in the foundations of the trust someone has placed in you.

While an occasional mistake doesn't seem like a big deal, repeated mistakes pile up and, over time, people may come to look at you with suspicion

Build Trust Step 2
Build Trust Step 2

Step 2. Keep your promises

People need to know they can trust someone for the long term, so keep every promise you make.

  • If you really can't keep a promise, explain in person why you can't do what you promised to do.
  • A simple explanation may not be enough, especially if the promise is related to something important, in which case you will need to make another promise to make up for the first mistake. Keep your word this time, no matter what.
  • Don't disregard the original promise. No matter how small or insignificant it seems to you, keep in mind that it can be very important to someone else. Any broken promise can be a great source of disappointment.
Build Trust Step 3
Build Trust Step 3

Step 3. Be consistent

An important part of what credibility means is the fulfillment of promises over an extended period of time. A trustworthy person is, by definition, someone we can always count on.

Keep in mind that just keeping your word once or twice is not enough to build a foundation of trust in relationships

Method 2 of 4: Being Honest

Build Trust Step 4
Build Trust Step 4

Step 1. Tell the truth whenever you can.

While there are some situations where telling the whole truth isn't the most ethical option, most of the time honesty is the best policy.

  • Perhaps the best time to tell the truth is when you would benefit from a lie. When we can be honest at our own expense, we show how important the relationship with the other person is, and also that their well-being is ahead of our own.
  • For example, imagine that you have spilled coffee on a book you borrowed from a friend. You could say you lost the book or buy another copy to try to pretend nothing happened, but telling the truth is important. Maybe a damaged book isn't a big deal, but the risk of the truth coming out (or your friend picking up on the lie) can shake the trust between you.
Build Trust Step 5
Build Trust Step 5

Step 2. Admit you lied

Sometimes the lie seems inevitable, and sometimes it happens without anyone even realizing that they are lying. If you are lying to someone, the best option is to tell the truth as soon as possible, explaining your reasons and showing sincere repentance.

If you get caught in a lie, don't try to deny it. You're just covering up one lie with another, and that will further damage your credibility

Build Trust Step 6
Build Trust Step 6

Step 3. Speak from the heart

Focus on a positive point when you feel like lying, either to spare someone's feelings or to spare yourself an unpleasant reaction. Think about a quality of the person and emphasize it in the dialogue.

  • Speak by emphasizing the good side of things rather than exaggerating the bad news you need to convey.
  • Make yourself available to listen. Using phrases beginning with "I think" or "I believe," emphasizing that this is just your perception of the truth, can also be helpful. They show that we are open to other points of view, helping us to preserve relationships.
  • For example, when you need to tell a friend that he made a mistake, use neutral, judgment-free language to explain what went wrong. Focus on his strengths, how much you value him as a friend, and, if possible, how he can fix things. Then ask to hear his side and listen carefully, but don't say it's okay when it's not.
  • The conversation might look like this: "Barbara, I believe you made a significant mistake in the report. I know you've been under a lot of stress lately and that mistake doesn't reflect your talent and abilities, but I think we need to talk to the client right away. and submit a new report".
Build Trust Step 7
Build Trust Step 7

Step 4. Express your feelings

People who only convey indisputable facts convey an image of coldness and distance, and this does not promote credibility.

It may be easy to say everything that happened from your point of view, but without a layer of compassion and understanding, people may feel that you are satisfied with someone else's annoyance

Method 3 of 4: Being Transparent

Build Trust Step 8
Build Trust Step 8

Step 1. Share information spontaneously

When you have an opportunity to be vague, consider whether it would be better to go into detail. Often, the act of voluntarily providing details can show that you are not keeping any secrets. Here's an example:

  • In a monogamous relationship, one partner might ask, "How was your day?" and the other might respond, "It was good." Such an answer does not build trust, as the person has not shared any concrete information.
  • Now imagine another answer to the same question: "Well, I had an appointment today. I thought it would be a routine checkup, but the doctor suspects a heart murmur, she said she still doesn't have any conclusive results, but she wants me go back there for some more tests next week. I don't know if I should be worried." Such an answer demonstrates openness and builds trust.
  • In that case, your partner would be upset if he didn't know what happened at the appointment, even if the doctor was still unsure of the results. The omission would damage the couple's intimacy because you could be worried about the exam during the entire exam, while the loved one would not know the reason for so much anxiety. Also, she would probably like to know what's going on so she can help you with whatever it takes.
Build Trust Step 9
Build Trust Step 9

Step 2. Don't omit important details

The main reason not to omit details is the fact that it's difficult to maintain consistency in your stories. People will start to notice contradictions and this will damage your credibility, even if you're just omitting a small detail.

If you really want to build trust, say whatever people need or want to hear

Build Trust Step 10
Build Trust Step 10

Step 3. If you don't want to share some information, tell the truth

You don't have to tell all your secrets and feelings just to build trust. The key to being trustworthy and, at the same time, preserving your privacy is to make your boundaries very clear.

For example, say something like, "I'm not ready to talk about how I feel about this right now, but I promise you that you have nothing to worry about." This gives the other person a chance to show that they are understanding and patient and, even more importantly, it provides a sense of security. So it's a much better option than being vague or dishonest when talking about a particular subject

Method 4 of 4: Demonstrating Integrity

Build Trust Step 11
Build Trust Step 11

Step 1. Keep all the secrets you hear

Never tell a story that someone has asked you not to tell anyone else, that would be a betrayal of trust.

People are prone to letting a secret slip when they don't think clearly, feel tired, or are under pressure. If this happens, take responsibility immediately and apologize. This way, your friend will not find out what happened through a third person, and this will also give you an opportunity to minimize any damage you have caused

Build Trust Step 12
Build Trust Step 12

Step 2. Show loyalty

Having loyalty means being willing to protect other people by taking their side. Behave like this in their presence and, even more importantly, in their absence.

  • Trust builds when someone knows they have your loyalty, and when you put your relationship with someone or that person's interest ahead of your own.
  • For example, develop a trusting relationship with a co-worker by staying late at the office to help them with a project, even if you won't get credit for the project.
Build Trust Step 13
Build Trust Step 13

Step 3. Keep emotions in check

We can earn the respect and admiration of others when we demonstrate control over our feelings - it's not easy to trust a person whose emotions are unpredictable or volatile.

  • A study by Fortune 500 magazine showed that people who control emotions and know how to express them properly are more likely to earn the trust of others.
  • For example, don't blow people up over small mistakes, or they'll trust you less.
  • When you feel overwhelmed by feelings, be aware of the signals you are sending and try to lessen the signs of stress. Open your hands, relax your jaw and release your muscles.
  • Focusing on your own breathing will help you control your emotions. Try to direct your full attention to the sensation of your breath. You don't have to think about it or try to change it, just experience the feeling. If you find yourself getting distracted, gently redirect your thoughts to your breath.
  • When we learn to control our emotions, people in our lives feel that they can predict how we will act and see us as emotionally trustworthy, giving us more trust.
Build Trust Step 14
Build Trust Step 14

Step 4. Avoid abusive behavior

Some behaviors seriously damage trust within relationships and therefore should be avoided at all costs. Here are some attitudes that undermine the trust of others:

  • Humiliate or offend your partner.
  • Isolate yourself from others.
  • Threatening or injuring someone.
  • Avoid abusive behavior altogether. If you make the mistake of doing this to someone, ask for forgiveness immediately. Promise to behave better next time and keep your word.
Build Trust Step 15
Build Trust Step 15

Step 5. Communicate assertively

Instead of adopting abusive or aggressive behavior, adopt an assertive communication style, that is: express your needs clearly, directly and respectfully, while taking into account the needs and opinions of others.

  • Assertive communication involves the ability to control emotions and say "no" when we don't want to do something.
  • When we are assertive, we share our feelings and opinions openly, but in a way that does not provoke or belittle others.
  • For example, let's say the neighbor's stereo is too loud. An aggressive approach would be to go over to his house and yell, "Turn this crap off right now or I'm calling the police, you asshole!" An assertive approach would be to knock calmly on his door and say, "Hi, it's getting late and I need to get up early tomorrow. Can you please turn the music down a little?" That way, your neighbor will know you're causing a problem, but won't feel offended or threatened.
Build Trust Step 16
Build Trust Step 16

Step 6. Make a commitment to change your behavior when necessary

If you have cheated or betrayed someone's trust, promise to change your behavior in the future and commit to delivering on your promises. Remember, we need to keep promises consistently over time if we are to regain a person's trust.

  • A promise can only restore trust in the short term.
  • An apology alone has no lasting effect on your credibility.

Tips

  • Lying to yourself is still lying. You may be convinced that you have done or said something honest, but an impartial and objective observer may see otherwise. Viewing reality the way you prefer won't make a difference in how other people view your attitudes or words, and their trust in you will be ruined if those words or actions don't convey credibility.
  • Stop lying. When we lie once, we need to remember the story we told, or lie again. People will eventually notice if you don't stop lying.

Notices

  • Treacherous attitudes destroy trust. If you are doing something behind someone's back, for whatever reason, consider what you hope to achieve with that behavior. Also, ask yourself if you like to act like that - you probably don't. If you're convinced that this is the only way you can relate to others, maybe it's time to hone your social skills.
  • In some cases, people who betray the trust of others may be suffering from a psychological disorder, anger management issues, or other related conditions, and need to see a therapist for appropriate help.

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