Maybe you're dating or dating a woman and you really enjoy being with her. In her mind, things seem to be going well, so if she asks for a little space, it might seem a little surprising. Or maybe things aren't so good and she wants some space to get over it. Space can sometimes help bring couples together, so try to communicate in other ways, enjoy your life, and build the relationship when the time is right.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Establishing Different Communication
Step 1. Honor her choice
Although it's difficult, it's important to respect her decision to want space. Avoid constantly initiating contact or making invitations to go out. Make room for her to miss you and learn to enjoy life without you around.
Step 2. Define what “space” is in your relationship
When she asks for more space, you can define what that means in your relationship. Maybe she's studying for exams and just needs some time to focus more. Perhaps she is feeling that she is getting lost in the relationship and needs a more permanent space to explore her own identity and interests. Set the time and space parameters to see if you are comfortable with this.
- Suggest that you do not text each other during the day, but that you speak on the phone once at night.
- Ask how often she wants to see you in person.
Step 3. Talk to her from time to time
You're probably used to talking to her throughout the day, so it can be hard not to communicate. However, don't go after her more than once a day, except when strictly necessary. It's okay to answer her messages or answer her calls, but don't always be the first to speak.
Call a friend when you feel like calling her, go for a run, or look for another distraction
Step 4. Avoid social media for a while
If she's in the habit of posting stuff frequently, you can turn off her profiles for a while so you won't be tempted to look at what she's posting. If you still want to use social media, stop following her while she needs space.
Stop following her friends, too, if you feel better
Step 5. Practice self-motivation
Maybe you're feeling a little down because of the change in your relationship. However, it is possible to get around the negativity. Just feed positive and constructive thoughts during this time. Don't let your trust be compromised just because she says she needs space.
- You can repeat to yourself things like “I'm awesome”, “It's going to be okay” or “I don't need to talk to her right now”.
- Try to speak your name when reciting these mantras. Say “John, it's going to be okay” when you feel bad.
Method 2 of 3: Enjoying Your Life
Step 1. Spend more time with friends and family
While it's sad to realize she needs space, you can use your time to have fun. No need to be left at home and depressed when there are people around you can have fun with. Visit your family, hang out with friends and make plans for the future.
Avoid talking to other girls during this time. Although you're taking a break, if you're not in a relationship or you haven't agreed with your girlfriend that the two of you can go out with other people, then honor your relationship and stay true to her
Step 2. Focus on your work
This entire space is ideal for you to focus more on your work. Start new projects, work overtime, or help a coworker with a report. This is a good way to use your time constructively to improve your job performance and your career.
Step 3. Plan how you will use your time
If you used to spend a lot of time with her, then chances are you have a lot of free time now. Avoid staying at home doing nothing. Instead, fill your time with fun activities, hobbies, or TV shows and movies you've wanted to see for a while.
Ask her out once a week so they don't get too far away
Step 4. Take care of yourself
During this time, be sure to take care of your body and mind. Go to the gym with some friends or go jogging in your neighborhood. Cut your hair or buy new clothes. Eat healthy food and keep your environment clean and organized.
Step 5. Try new things
Maybe you have some things you'd like to try, but she wasn't interested. It could be a new Indian restaurant or horseback riding - it doesn't matter. Start exploring your interests. Developing interests outside of your relationship is healthy and will strengthen your momentum.
Maybe she even wants to try these things out with you later
Method 3 of 3: Developing Your Relationship
Step 1. Think about the relationship
Space is not effective unless you both think about it. Think about what you might have done to get her to ask for time or more space, and consider whether you can avoid similar situations in the future. If you're not the one asking for a break, think about what's going on in her life right now and what needs she might have. None of this may have anything to do with you, so don't take it too personally.
Step 2. At the right time, try to reconnect
When she has a little more time or is looking for you more often, talk to her and see if she still needs space. If not, spend time with her. And if she needs more time, give her as much time as you can.
You might say something like “I was wondering if you still need some relationship time. It's okay if you need to, but I just wanted to be sure before I try to talk to you more often.”
Step 3. Find a compromise that works for both of you
Ask her if she stopped to reflect during this time, if she felt okay, and if she would like this to be something more permanent. Talk about what you learned as well and reaffirm your commitment to the relationship if you still feel the same way. Talk about what can be done to avoid taking time off in the future or alternatives so that everyone has time to be alone.
For example, perhaps you are in the habit of going out with her and her friends to dinner or a movie. Ask if she would like to go alone next time
Step 4. Let the relationship go the way it should
After talking and taking a break, you may find that it is better to be apart than together. While it may be sad, recognize that it's time to go it alone. Leave the relationship behind and wish her the best.