Do you always seem to cross paths with self-centered, intolerant, and arrogant people? These people can be a source of great irritation, and this article is here to help you tell the difference between arrogant and not-so- arrogant people.
Step 1. Pay attention to their conversations
Don't be eavesdropping, but when they are talking to you or someone close by, listen to them. Is the subject always about themselves? Are they angry or irritated if the spotlight turns to someone else? These are clear signs of arrogance.
- Arrogance and arrogance are often a reflection of limited life experience and a concern that those with more experience are "better than them." Rather than seeking to discover new things by asking and learning from it (actions they think show vulnerability), arrogant people tend to make generalizations from their minimal and limited life experiences and impose their small worldview on others..
- Jealousy of your achievements or your apparent lifestyle can make another person feel smug or arrogant about something they do better than you.
- Arrogant people have a strong need to be on top. When you say something bad about them - even if it's the "lightest" of offenses - they tend to get really mad at you. This happens if you question (or appear to question) their looks, their intelligence, their athletic abilities, or anything related to their image of themselves.
Step 2. Challenge your views
Don't be aggressive - just skeptical and curious. If the person gets upset, measure their anger. If it's not too big, then chances are she's just having a bad day. But if she gets angry, she might think you're questioning her "perfect world." And that answer is often an indication of arrogance.
- At some point, most people realize that the world doesn't revolve around them. Arrogant people try to change that by creating an atmosphere that revolves around them and they get angry if someone reminds them of the real world.
- Ambiguity frightens arrogant people because it suggests imperfection, change, and uncertainty (realities we all have to deal with best). So, instead of accepting that the world behaves randomly and sometimes completely contrary to one's preferences, the arrogant person seeks to control everything and everyone, which is, of course, an impossible mission.
- Reality hurts when it appears; thus, an arrogant person, unlike others, hardly reflects on himself or analyzes himself, therefore not seeing his own imperfections. She may also give herself undue credit for positive achievements rather than acknowledging the merits of others or circumstances.
Step 3. Discover the quality of this person's friendships
Don't be nosy or gossipy, but if she's happy with someone one day and mad the next, chances are she has a lot of self-serving friends. This is a sign of arrogance, as it is very difficult to be truly friends with someone so self-centered. Proud people have a strong need to be on top, and being self-reliant is an effective way to do that. Since being friends with someone often means helping that person, the arrogant can't even stand the idea of a real friendship.
Ironically, arrogant people often don't understand why they don't have any friends they can count on to support them
Step 4. How does the person treat those who are different from them?
In other words, how does she react to beliefs, cultures and ways of seeing the world that are different from hers? If it is inherently negative, then she is either ignorant of these characteristics of the other person or does her best to avoid them so that they don't contradict her fantasy world that concerns only herself. Determine this based on the bully's general personality and the people he interacts with.
Proud people often have a "my way is the right way" behavior. It is simply a defense mechanism for the false image they hold or for the fantasy world in which they live
Step 5. What is this person's personality like?
Write down how she acts, how she speaks, and how she uses her social status. Does she usually set rules about what's cool and what's not? Are you chatty? Does she act like the queen of the place, or like a "predator"? Are you very proud of the image you have of yourself?
- Many arrogant people have a false charm that no one can see. But they are more than happy to show their cruel side to those they don't like.
- When they are cruel, their friends usually ignore or do nothing to stop them because they are afraid of being mistreated by their "friends".
Step 6. Mention people you "know" the arrogant one doesn't like
The idea is not to create a conflict, but to measure its rivalries, enmities and annoyance. If the problem he has with the person is reasonable, he's likely not to be arrogant. Otherwise it is.
Most of the time, arrogant people see those they don't like as threats to their perfect world. The more they hate someone, the more dangerous that person is to their fantasy land. And, therefore, the greater the threat, the worse your criticism
Step 7. Find out what the person is saying about you
If it's bad stuff, she might just not like you. If she's nice in front of you, but keeps talking about you behind your back, then she probably has a problem with pride.
- Arrogant people often unconsciously know they don't have good friends. They make up for it by creating the print that they have many - an idea of "quantity, not quality". So they simply insult friends who like to show off to others when they're not looking.
Step 8. Be compassionate
Don't overjudge arrogant people or you run the risk of looking as bad as they are. These types of people often try to hide certain vulnerabilities and fears. Most of the time, the need to have a strong, unquestionable self-image comes from deep pain. Obviously, you also don't need to accept these people's idea that they are superior to you. Remain impartial and stick to your principles. But you can get along with them and find the good in these people, praise their real talents instead of forced ones. Sometimes, having someone who goes beyond rudeness can free the arrogant so that they can be more true to themselves and stop protecting themselves so fiercely.
A wide range of vulnerabilities tend to be hidden under arrogance. This leads to compensation so that this vulnerability is largely suppressed. For example, if the arrogant person grew up in poverty but then became rich, he might become snobby about everything he can buy now, to cover up the poor past
- Always remember that there is a big difference between being assertive and being arrogant. Likewise, some people are more anxious than arrogant, and it is this anxiety that causes them to dominate conversations and always try to prove themselves to you. You might notice the difference when looking for empathy. An assertive or nervous person will notice your answers and even ask questions, while an arrogant person will ignore your needs and continue to disrespect your perspective.
Although it's difficult, don't hate the arrogant. They often hide a painful past, some aspect of themselves that they don't like or have been terribly hurt by other people.
Remember that they may have been hurt by the same things as you, but they are mishandling (and unhealthily) their pain. Instead of overcoming it, they hide it. This pain can express itself through arrogance, among other things
They make fun of who shouldn't? Making fun of someone going through difficulties is a sign of looking for empty laughs and not caring about the feelings of others.
- Proud people don't care about the feelings of others, as they often find it difficult to understand them.
- People in trouble are often the target of jokes and insults by the arrogant. However, these comments are only made for people who are arrogant you know who will tolerate them and not in front of everyone.
- A summary of the symptoms of arrogance includes: intolerance to people different from themselves, inability to see from different points of view, strong criticism of those they dislike, inability to maintain lasting relationships and general narcissism.
- When it comes to dealing with arrogant people, they almost "always" have something to protect: either their self-images or their egocentric universe. If they get the impression that you're questioning either of them, they won't like you. Learn to live with it, because the problem is not really you; it's their inability to control you.
- Arrogant people don't usually have real friends. Remember this when you want to be as "popular" as they are.
- Stay as far away from arrogant people as you can. They can cause a lot of pain in your life. On the other hand, learning to deal with them little by little is a useful skill that can help you better deal with people on teams, at work, in sports, etc., since they will know that you will not tolerate petty attitudes. But don't be too hard and push everyone away, otherwise you could ruin your life!
When it comes to popularity contests, why are they popular? Is it because they treat their friends well or because they're just "nice" to have around?
A "nice" person to have around doesn't necessarily treat people with respect. The things that make people "nice" are completely superficial: they're rich, attractive, athletic, have a good personality (which fits your criteria for friendship) or a fake charm (which quickly reveals itself if you piss them off in private moments). Arrogant people can have all or a mixture of these (and other) characteristics
- Make sure you are not being arrogant. If so, police your attitude and analyze the situation objectively, without taking sides.
Arrogant people also have difficulty to accept excuses.
This is particularly true if you have questioned (or appeared to have questioned) their fantasy land or their self-image
- If you get involved with arrogant people and get hurt by them, don't be afraid to seek help, professional or otherwise (but not spread the word).
If they manage to hit you, leave or just ignore them and continue doing what you were doing. What makes these people angrier than anything is ignoring them; giving in to them will give you the satisfaction of knowing they've hit you. They just want to inflate their own ego and insulting them or arguing with them will do that. Leaving will go too, though not so much. All they want is attention because they are insecure.
Depending on the situation, going out can make them look stupid. They'll hate you for it, but no one deserves the company of an asshole
Do not encourage with words the perfect world in which the arrogant live. Not only will this help you stay sincere, it can also help the person see things differently.
- Don't attack the person's fantasy land. Instead, say something like "I don't agree with this" or "I have a different opinion about this". This may make you angry, but the chances are less than if you had directly questioned your perfect world.
- Instead of saying "Maybe if you weren't so self-centered you'd see things as they are," try saying "What makes you say that?" or "Why do you have this opinion?" This forces the person to answer a direct, factual question.
If you have to vent about someone arrogant, do it only to your best friends who won't tell anyone else. If your anger surfaces, it can trigger a conflict.
There's a good chance the proud person doesn't understand why you don't like them. Just ignore your rude behavior and give short, direct answers if necessary
No matter how much you want to tell the person some truths, don't tell them! It won't do you any good. Don't go on explaining at length why arrogance is wrong. Just give her a quick answer and let her understand that you don't want her in your life; being assertive doesn't necessarily mean being short and blunt. Be better than the person, smarter than the person.
If she stabbed you in the back, point out the fact. No one-not even the arrogant's "best friends"-will appreciate this behavior
One of the symptoms of any antisocial personality disorder (such as psychopathy and sociopathy) is arrogance and disrespect for the rights of others. This is a dangerous aspect of arrogant people; if you have to live with someone like that, look for help.
That's why some arrogant people end up being criminals
Ironically, if you win an argument or fight, they will start to play "victim" and seek support from their "friends" not only to feel better, but also to do. you be bad.
If arrogant people are considered "nice" by many people, making themselves the victim can get you reprimanded. Act discreetly when confronting nice people with a large following
- Keep in mind that some psychological problems can feel like arrogance (feeling distant or withdrawn or insecure and with a wrong sense of self). In some cases, this problem may be Bipolar Disorder, Borderline Personality Disorder, or sociophobia. The cause could be a number of things, such as a history of abuse, illness or bullying. Some people don't realize that their behavior makes them unpleasant in the eyes of others and prevents them from making friends. Think that while it's easy to call anyone "arrogant," in doing so you are considering your reactions, hers, the conditions of the environment, and the circumstances of life. Sometimes what people say and do has nothing to do with you. Be careful about assuming that they act in such a way specifically to irritate or annoy you. Outsmart them.