How to Hide That You're In Love With a Coworker

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How to Hide That You're In Love With a Coworker
How to Hide That You're In Love With a Coworker

Video: How to Hide That You're In Love With a Coworker

Video: How to Hide That You're In Love With a Coworker
Video: How to figure out what to do with your life 2024, March
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Do you always feel your heart pounding when a certain co-worker approaches? Do you think he is irresistibly charming and laugh more enthusiastically at his jokes? Love between co-workers can be extremely complicated, especially if it's against the company's rules or isn't well regarded by the company, if one of you (or both) is already in a relationship, or if you have your own personal values regarding the romance in the workplace. So maybe you don't want anyone to find out what's going on, not even your passion. Regardless of the reason you want to keep your love for this colleague a secret, there are ways to hide your feelings and, at the same time, try to accept that perhaps this reciprocated passion will never (or cannot) become reality.

Steps

Part 1 of 4: Acting Professionally

Hide That You're in Love With a Coworker Step 1
Hide That You're in Love With a Coworker Step 1

Step 1. Treat the person the same way you would any other coworker

The easiest way to hide what you feel is to act normally, and while it may sound simple in theory, in practice it can be more difficult. If you're having trouble keeping things "as they've always been," try to limit contact with this colleague as much as you can.

  • For example, avoid going out to lunch with him unless you are in a large group. If you are having lunch in a group, make an effort to talk to people other than your loved one.
  • Think about how you would act in the company of any other colleagues and imitate this behavior when interacting with your passion.
Hide That You're in Love With a Coworker Step 2
Hide That You're in Love With a Coworker Step 2

Step 2. Don't flirt

This can be difficult, especially if the other person tends to start flirting. However, returning the flirting (or initiating it) will be a clear sign of interest. You won't be able to hide this love for a long time if you do, after all, would you flirt with a colleague whom you had no interest in? Probably not.

For example, don't laugh at every funny comment the person makes. No need to be rude, just smile a little and change the subject to show you're not interested

Hide That You're in Love With a Coworker Step 3
Hide That You're in Love With a Coworker Step 3

Step 3. Avoid physical contact

Obviously, you'll need to avoid touching this colleague inappropriately, but it's also important to avoid any other kind of physical contact (with the exception of an occasional professional handshake when necessary). Don't touch the person's arm when they say something teasing, don't put your hands on their shoulders, and don't hug them. In addition to being obvious signs of interest, such gestures are considered unprofessional in the workplace.

Hide That You're in Love With a Coworker Step 4
Hide That You're in Love With a Coworker Step 4

Step 4. Don't show favoritism

If you're discussing an issue with your crush and other co-workers, don't side with the person you care about all the time. If she really has the best idea of all in a discussion about an important decision for the company, explain why her point of view makes the most sense. However, with less important and more trivial decisions, avoid defending that colleague's point of view whenever possible.

  • Try to separate the person's idea when considering different perspectives, this will help you treat everyone fairly and normally.
  • Don't delegate all the best tasks to this person if you are in a position of authority, other employees will catch on quickly and your secret will not be safe. Keep being as fair as possible.
Hide That You're in Love With a Coworker Step 5
Hide That You're in Love With a Coworker Step 5

Step 5. Take a day or two off

If you're having trouble acting professionally, consider taking a couple of days off from work (using your vacation days or making up an illness). Sometimes a little personal space can help us focus on what's really important.

During the time you are away, try to remember why you decided to keep this love a secret. Maybe this is your dream job and you don't want to laugh at it, or maybe you're already in a serious relationship. Regardless of the reason, try to convince yourself that it's not worth complicating your life for this person. Ideally, after that break, you come back to the company totally focused on your work, not your colleague

Hide That You're in Love With a Coworker Step 6
Hide That You're in Love With a Coworker Step 6

Step 6. Consider asking to work in a different area

Perhaps you work directly with the person you are in love with and, with luck, can take steps to hide those feelings. However, consider talking to a supervisor and asking them to do something different if you don't feel able to work comfortably with that person.

  • For example, maybe you can work on a different project or department.
  • Don't give the real reason for wanting to change assignments, instead think of a plausible excuse. For example, you could say that you like what you do a lot, but that you are willing to take on a bigger challenge and work on an idea to improve the company's management strategy.

Part 2 of 4: Setting Social Boundaries

Hide That You're in Love With a Coworker Step 7
Hide That You're in Love With a Coworker Step 7

Step 1. Avoid talking about non-work related subjects

If you are unable to distance yourself from a colleague (for example, if you have daily meetings, work very closely, or if he is your boss), strive to maintain conversations that are strictly professional or at least as superficial as possible. The more you talk about personal issues, the more you two will feel connected.

  • When he asks you what you did over the weekend, answer something along the lines of, "Oh, nothing special. I just fixed a few problems." Don't reciprocate the question, a terse answer will discourage any more personal conversation.
  • If you feel the need to talk to avoid an awkward silence, talk about amenities such as the time or deadline for a work project.
  • Ignore any insinuations from this colleague. Obviously, the situation will become more awkward if he starts to take the initiative, so stand back or try to cut off or reduce any personal contact if the person starts flirting with you. Thanks to increasingly technological corporate environments, it may be possible to do much of your work via email or the company's intranet.
Hide That You're in Love With a Coworker Step 8
Hide That You're in Love With a Coworker Step 8

Step 2. Don't go out with your colleagues after work

In some companies, it's very common for employees to have a beer or go out to dinner after hours, but decline any invitations if the person in question is also going. Make up an excuse and say that you've arranged to have dinner with a friend or that you need to sort things out before you go home. Running away from unprofessional situations in the company of this colleague will keep you from fantasizing about a romantic relationship outside the office.

If you are required to attend an event where the person is also present, distance yourself from them as much as possible (discreetly) and do not drink. Alcohol reduces inhibitions and can cause you to say what you shouldn't

Hide That You're in Love With a Coworker Step 9
Hide That You're in Love With a Coworker Step 9

Step 3. Avoid talking in person

This is not possible in every workplace, but opt for email or other means of communication available at the company if you can do this without arousing suspicion. This will give you time to process your feelings until you can behave normally in the company of this colleague.

  • Minimize contact if he works in another department. Passion shouldn't interfere with your work if you're lucky enough to work away from that person. Simply minimize any contact in the office kitchen or after work.
  • Don't overdo it when trying to avoid this colleague, just keep a safe distance. You might end up drawing too much attention to yourself if you start avoiding someone too obviously, and the other employees in the office might suspect this behavior.
Hide That You're in Love With a Coworker Step 10
Hide That You're in Love With a Coworker Step 10

Step 4. Adopt a zero tolerance personal policy

Even if the company has no policy against employee dating, adopting a personal rule can help you to ignore this passion.

  • In addition to helping you keep current feelings secret, it can also be helpful in the long run if you begin to feel attracted to another employee. If a co-worker declares himself to you, explain your personal policy not to date other people within the company.
  • Face this passion as something impossible and accept the fact that this relationship will never come true. The sooner you believe this, the more easily you can hide your feelings.

Part 3 of 4: Contemplating Feelings

Hide That You're in Love With a Coworker Step 11
Hide That You're in Love With a Coworker Step 11

Step 1. Consider whether you are really in love

Try to find out if this feeling is love or just a crush. Although both cases produce very strong feelings, you may be able to "get over" a crush more quickly than you would a true love. We often develop intense feelings of attraction due to professional pressures and emotions associated with the workplace, or even because we see a colleague doing very well in these situations. If the initial feeling turns into something more intimate, you will need to consider whether it is something lasting or simply a fleeting but continuous feeling of wonder.

  • How well do you know this person? Sometimes we just love someone from a distance, and sometimes our love grows over time because we work very closely with someone and have the opportunity to talk about personal values and common interests.
  • Do you really know her? Have you fallen in love with her true qualities or are you enchanted by the personality she exhibits at work?
  • Was he won over by the seductive behavior that the person maintains in the office? Power or leadership are alluring professional traits that can spark passion.
Hide That You're in Love With a Coworker Step 12
Hide That You're in Love With a Coworker Step 12

Step 2. Consider the consequences of a romance

Dating a co-worker can be quite complicated, and unless one of you leaves the company, the relationship involves a lot of risk. Other employees may think you abuse power (if you're dating a subordinate) or seek favoritism (if you're dating the boss). In addition, your peers may view you with suspicion if you are dating a supervisor, as they will be afraid that you will tell them everything they do or say.

Novels are strictly prohibited in many companies, and failure to comply with this rule could justify a dismissal

Hide That You're in Love With a Coworker Step 13
Hide That You're in Love With a Coworker Step 13

Step 3. Remember that the emergence of romantic feelings at work is not an uncommon phenomenon

Working together with someone can inspire loving feelings, as we spend most of the day in the person's company, solving problems and facing challenges. So it's no surprise that one colleague can fall in love with another.

Keeping this in mind is very important, especially at the beginning when the feelings we have for someone can be very intense. At times it will be difficult to hide what you feel, but remembering that many people are occasionally interested in coworkers can help you to realize that this love is not true

Hide That You're in Love With a Coworker Step 14
Hide That You're in Love With a Coworker Step 14

Step 4. Make a list of all the reasons to avoid an in-company romance

Putting the reasons down on paper, or thinking about them carefully, will help you to repress that love or affection and work to get the other person out of your mind. There are many reasons why we avoid a relationship with a coworker.

  • Think about the time and energy it takes to hide dating if relationships between employees are prohibited. You'll need to juggle your schedule if you're in the habit of hanging out with friends from work or inviting them to your house. While it's not impossible, this is quite tiring. Also, the fun and excitement associated with the secret will gradually diminish over time, until one day you feel itching to tell the truth.
  • Think about the person's faults. Although your colleague is extremely attractive, it is quite likely that he also has some negative characteristics. By focusing on the negatives, you can diminish attraction or interest. Maybe it's an irritating laugh, an unhealthy obsession with work, or stubbornness. Regardless of the defect, think of it as an important reason not to get involved with someone.
  • Would you be able to finish all the work or stay focused if you had your head on the person working in the next room? Some people have a hard time hiding an affair, so don't forget that dating could hurt your career.
  • You won't have much to talk about as you work together and spend all day in each other's company. The only issue will be work, and you run the risk of negatively affecting each other's opinion of other employees if you have any common annoyances or concerns.
  • Think about the consequences of a breakup. In most cases, working alongside an ex makes working life more complicated and involves the risk that one of you will try to sabotage the other's success. The situation can be kept under control if the former couple manages to remain professional, but are you sure you will be able to keep all feelings out of the company?

Part 4 of 4: Dealing With Feelings Healthy

Hide That You're in Love With a Coworker Step 15
Hide That You're in Love With a Coworker Step 15

Step 1. Avoid harmful ways of dealing with the problem

Sometimes, when we can't handle our feelings, we can resort to habits that provide some kind of comfort.

  • Some people may overindulge in unhealthy foods such as snacks or ice cream. Others may resort to alcohol, cigarettes or other drugs as a way to escape their feelings. Whatever your harmful habit, try to identify it and resort to a healthier way of dealing with emotions whenever you feel like doing it.
  • If you are experiencing intense emotions because you need to hide how you feel, try talking to a trusted friend (preferably someone other than a co-worker) or a family member. You can also write your feelings in a journal if you don't want to talk about it with anyone. The important thing is that emotions have an outlet.
Hide That You're in Love With a Coworker Step 16
Hide That You're in Love With a Coworker Step 16

Step 2. Take up a hobby

Maybe you already have one, and if so, spend more time on it. If you don't already have one, think of something you've always wanted to try. This activity will distract you from loving feelings and help you feel more empowered to deal with the situation.

For example, look for a climbing academy in your area if you've always wanted to climb mountains and sign up for a beginner's class. That way you'll find a new hobby, get in shape, and meet new people

Hide That You're in Love With a Coworker Step 17
Hide That You're in Love With a Coworker Step 17

Step 3. Stay socially active

Most people spend most of their day working and, depending on the company culture, many of your coworkers can also be great friends. While there's nothing wrong with this when we're not trying to hide how we feel about another employee, cultivating friendships outside the company will provide a safe haven outside of your work hours.

You can unburden yourself to these friends (if you like) and broaden your perspectives by realizing that there is life outside of work, and this will help you overcome unwanted romantic feelings

Hide That You're in Love With a Coworker Step 18
Hide That You're in Love With a Coworker Step 18

Step 4. Take care of your relationships

There is always the possibility that you are already committed, and if that is the case, take time to reflect on the relationship and your reasons for staying in it. If you are single, focus on improving any other relationships (for example, with friends or family). We often neglect other relationships when we feel attracted to someone, so redirect your energy to those who matter, and those who care about you.

Think about interesting people outside of the workplace if you want to date someone. If you're not interested in anyone, consider a dating site or try attending more social events. You will also be able to meet new people through hobbies, sports, churches and volunteer work

Tips

  • Keep an eye out whenever you start fantasizing about co-workers in the future, you might end up falling in love with another employee of the company. Learn to recognize the factors that can cause you to like a colleague, such as working together under a lot of pressure, feeling bored with a current relationship or with the job itself, feeling insecure about work and wanting to "get away" and so on.
  • Avoid showing obvious signs of interest, such as remembering the person's birthday and bringing a gift, knowing their favorite color, or looking for reasons to talk constantly.
  • If you can't resist and get involved in a serious relationship with a co-worker, talk about the long-term consequences. Probably the best option is for one of you to leave the company, as this will make things easier for everyone involved. Another alternative is to start a business in partnership - romantic partners can be excellent partners and there is no risk of other employees feeling uncomfortable (even if there is, employees will already be aware of the situation when they are hired).

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