You were lucky to get that girl's phone number, but you don't know what to do next? A text message is the best way to get someone's attention when we're too nervous for a phone call, and all you need to do to send that message is learn to flirt discreetly, without overdoing it. Keep reading this article to learn more.
Part 1 of 3: Getting Started on the Right Foot
Step 1. Be original
Try sending a creative message rather than something obvious that anyone else could have sent. Saying hello or sending a boring emoji isn't enough - find a way to make her smile or spark her interest by doing anything that makes her think "Wow! This person has something special, I want to keep talking with her". Here are some ways to demonstrate originality:
- Conquer it with intelligence. Make a smart and witty comment to show your unique way of looking at the world.
- Make them laugh. Show that you can be a crafty person, including texting.
- Say something she has never heard before. If you've just heard surprising news, share it with the girl.
Step 2. Ask something interesting
A question is a great starting point because the girl will know you're waiting for an answer, and she won't get that "What do I say now?" feeling, so try to be as direct and specific as possible. Here are good ways to ask an interesting question:
- Ask about her day or week. If she has attended an important event, ask her how it went.
- Ask a question that can be easily answered - instead of wanting to know her opinion on the meaning of life, ask her what the girl is doing next holiday.
- Keep it simple. A short sentence can convey a pretty big message.
- Ask open-ended questions. Instead of asking "What time did you get home after the show?" prefer something like "How was the show?" This will give her the opportunity to write a more elaborate answer. Questions that can be answered in a word or two will put an end to the conversation before it even has a chance to begin.
Step 3. Keep an eye on the grammar
It may sound silly, but it's important to be very good at spelling and punctuation before sending a message to a girl. No one needs to sound like Machado de Assis from WhatsApp, but it's important to show that you care enough about the other person to write grammatically correct sentences.
Take the time to use capital letters and accents. Don't go overboard and start using semicolons and dashes, but check your messages out before sending them - just as you would an email
Step 4. Don't push yourself too hard
A girl will notice if you are trying hard to impress her in your messages, so remember to be yourself and not do things that have nothing to do with her personality just to try to make a good impression.
- Relax. Don't send a long, emotional text message - one sentence at a time is enough.
- Don't try to be a comedian. If you're naturally funny, great, but review your posture if you find yourself writing "hahaha" after each sentence to make it clear that it was a joke.
- Keep in mind that the other person may also be a little nervous - this will calm you down when talking. Just be yourself and don't lose sleep trying to think of the perfect message.
Part 2 of 3: Holding Her Attention
Step 1. Be engaging
Show that you are capable of having a fun conversation through texting, and the girl will deduce that this is also possible face-to-face. The purpose of text messaging is to give a taste of your personality and leave the other person wanting more - fascinate the girl so that she feels like continuing the conversation. Do the following:
- Find a common interest. No one needs to talk about political or religious preferences in text messages, but it's important to find something in common - even a television show or a band will be enough to keep the conversation going.
- Mention one of your passions, such as football or cooking. This will get her attention.
- Show a willingness to spend time doing things that interest you - if you're playing video games with a friend or rehearsing with your band while sending the message, let the girl know. She will be more interested in you if she knows you have an active life.
- Show your wit. Don't respond with a simple "haha" if she says something funny: instead respond with something else funny and show that you don't drop the shuttlecock.
Step 2. Flirt
Flirting will help you make the girl want to continue the conversation, as well as signal your true intentions to her. Flirt enough to show interest, but don't overdo it or she'll walk away. Do the following things to keep the conversation lively with flirting:
- Be playful. When the time is right, show your sillier side by making some silly comment - no woman likes a man who takes himself too seriously.
- Tease her. If you know her well enough and already have that freedom, tease her innocently and see if she teases you back. Make the tone clear so she understands it's just a joke.
- Don't be afraid to send a ";-)" every now and then. While no one should abuse them, an emoji sent at the right time is a great flirting tool.
Step 3. Show that you care
There are some easy ways to show that you like someone without being too obvious: Send a message at the right time to show that you're thinking about the girl and that she's important to you. Demonstrate that you like the girl in the following ways:
- Show that you value her opinion by asking her what she thinks about a particular topic, such as a movie or a restaurant that has just opened in the neighborhood.
- Ask open-ended questions about her life. Don't be too intimate, but if the opportunity arises, ask her what she's doing or what she likes to do on weekends.
- Show that you remember previous conversations. If she says she has an important exam, make a good impression by sending a "good luck" message the day before the big day.
Step 4. Don't overdo it
It's important to make sure the interest is mutual and that you're not bombarding someone with unwanted messages. Showing interest is okay, but be careful not to sound like someone needy, irritating, or just plain embarrassing. Here are some ways to avoid overdoing it:
- Notice if the conversation flows both ways. If you send ten messages for every one or two messages you get from her, it's time to take a step back.
- Do not send a reply a second after receiving her message. Relax if she takes a day to answer it. You'll look over the top (and even desperate) if you respond to every message instantly. Maintain a calm, self-confident, and comfortable posture.
- Don't abuse emojis. While they are great flirting tools when used at the right times, it's important to be careful not to overdo it.
- Don't capitalize where you shouldn't or go wild with exclamation and question marks - just one is enough.
Part 3 of 3: Ending with a Golden Key
Step 1. Recognize the time to end the conversation
You'll need to say goodbye at the right time if you want to get the girl interested, or she'll end up getting bored with the long exchange of messages. It doesn't matter if she seems too busy or if no one else has anything to say, it's important to know the right time to end the conversation and try again later. Here are some signs that the matter has come to an end:
- If the girl is always the end of the conversation, maybe you shouldn't send another message until she takes the initiative to start a conversation.
- If you only respond with one-word messages, the girl may be too busy or not interested in talking.
- If she takes hours or even days to respond, it might be better to take things more slowly. Respect the fact that she has to mind her own business and get on with yours, but don't get upset - just step back and stay positive. You never know when you'll have the opportunity to talk to her again!
Step 2. End on a positive note
Always leave the conversation with an open topic so that it's easy to resume the chat. This is very easy: just say you hope to talk to her again, or tell her what you plan to do later so you can talk about it later. Do this at the end of the conversation:
- Tell her that you expect her to have fun with whatever she is doing or what she plans to do later.
- Find a subtle way of saying you're going to think about her.
- Say "good morning" and "good night" at the appropriate times, but avoid overdoing it at first and consider whether the feelings are reciprocated. Otherwise you will appear too needy or irritating.
- Say where you are going. Perhaps she sees the information as an invitation to meet you.
Step 3. If you have already established a certain connection with the girl and you feel that the two of you have a lot of fun with the conversations, go ahead and ask her out
This should happen naturally, and at worst, she will decline the invitation, which is not the end of the world. So take courage if things are going well and do the following:
- Don't be formal, just say you intend to go out to a bar, restaurant or concert with your friends, and ask her if she would like to come too, alone or with her friends.
- If they have a long, detailed conversation, say, "I'd love to continue this topic in person. Would you like to pick up the conversation over dinner or a beer?" There, you have a date!
- Don't text a minute and expect the girl to always respond - remember she has other friends.
- Be patient if she doesn't respond right away. Do not send a question mark to find out why the delay.
- Pay attention to the length of conversations. If they are long and last a few hours, there is a chance that your feelings will be reciprocated. If the girl seems to be trying as hard as you to continue the subject, that's another good sign. Don't forget to not always be the person to send the first message. If she comes to you after a few days, this could be a sign that she misses talking or has been thinking about you. If possible, see how many messages she usually sends to other friends to get a sense of how special your conversation is. Also, try to make it clear that you message her more than anyone else - she'll feel special!
- Remember not to respond right away or send too many messages, or you will appear too clingy.