You see them standing in front of you in the market. Maybe you've run into them at work, at school - or, worst of all, in your family! They are… idiots and, unfortunately, they are everywhere. But that doesn't mean you should be irritated or frustrated for hours by their complete lack of ability to be rational and understand things. You can't always ignore them, but you can find an effective and less disruptive way to deal with them. Well, but how is this possible? Read on and find out.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Adjusting Your Perspective
Step 1. Lower your requirement pattern
This is difficult but very important. Part of the reason you are constantly frustrated by the stupidity of others is because you expect everyone to be as smart as you, your best friends, or the people you respect the most. However, as the saying goes, "The world needs all kinds of people" and that includes the stupid! Remember that the "average" person will not live up to your high expectations of how someone should think and act; lower your standard requirements according to this rule.
If you don't expect people to be smart and respectful, you'll be positively surprised when they are rather than constantly being disappointed in their lack of ability
Step 2. Understand that they may not have had the same advantages as you
Some of the reasons you're so smart might be coming from a loving home, having a good basic education, and not having to spend too much time taking care of your family, working part-time while studying, or other responsibilities that held you back. of spending so much time working on your intelligence. When you're frustrated by someone intellectually primitive, think about whether the person has had all the opportunities you've had - for the most part, you'll find that's not the case.
Remember to treat each person individually to lessen your frustrations, as you will constantly wonder why that person doesn't act like you
Step 3. Understand that you cannot change their minds
That's another important point before getting mad at idiots. You might think that reason or facts will win out all the time, and that stupid person will leave the conversation thinking "Wow, I never thought of it that way…" after you've given him or her a good dose of logic. This is hardly going to happen; if a person is an idiot, he will see things in a different way.
- You will stop trying to explain your point of view if you see that he will not change his mind. And if you stop trying to make an idiot understand your point of view, the less frustrated you will be.
- Remember that your goal is not to get the idiot to agree with you; is to stay calm and sane while dealing with it.
Step 4. Don't judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree
As Albert Einstein once said, "Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, you'll spend a lifetime believing it's stupid." This means that you should consider the fact that the person you are talking to is not really dumb, just in one or two areas where you would like them to be smart. The girl in your math class who can't add up might be an excellent poet; the guy who can't get your order right in a cafe can be a great musician. Stop thinking there's only one way to be smart or stupid, and you'll start to see that people are more capable than you think.
Think about it: if people can only be smart or dumb in one way, then there must be people out there who think YOU aren't very smart. And that's not true, right?
Step 5. Try to see any situation from another perspective
Another way to change your approach to dumb people is to look at the situation from their point of view. Of course, you may think that there is only one way to look at the issue of marijuana clearance, or that only you can be right about being a vegetarian, but before you get carried away, get a good grasp of the arguments on the other side and try to see that there really can be another side to the story.
Also, seeing a person's origins can help you understand their worldview. If she grew up in a small country town while you grew up in a big city, you're not going to have the same point of view on things
Step 6. Arm yourself with knowledge
Knowledge is power, especially when you're dealing with people who don't have it. If you want to deal with a dumb person, the best way to do it is to present the facts clearly and simply. Read as much as you can about the subject, listen to podcasts, watch the news, read articles, and make sure you have a good grasp of a concept before you start talking about it. The more facts, statistics and arguments you know, the easier it will be to shut up a stupid person.
While your goal doesn't necessarily have to be to prove you're right by talking to a dumb person (what's the point of doing that?), the more the person sees that you know about the subject, the less likely they'll want to continue the discussion
Method 2 of 3: Being Smart
Step 1. Avoid controversial topics
If you want to deal with a dumb person right now, the best thing to do is to avoid talking about anything that might piss him off, piss him off, or make him go on a crusade to find his mistakes. If you know the person is stupid and has stupid opinions, why waste time talking about something serious that could mean a lot to you? Just talk about amenities ("Hi, how are you? Will it rain?") if you have to live with the person on a daily basis. Don't waste time getting into topics that will generate controversy.
Even if you know that this person has stupid opinions on a controversial topic and you just want to "catch it", resist the temptation. It's not worth it to you or your blood pressure
Step 2. Win using sympathy
If a person is acting exceptionally stupid, probably the last thing you think about is being nice to them. Which is the main reason for you to act as sympathetically as possible. If you are as nice as possible, your behavior will disarm and possibly confuse the dumb person, leaving them with little to do other than reciprocate the sympathy and stop being so stupid. If you are rude, condescending or even mean, it will encourage the person to continue being as dumb as a door. Take a deep breath and be nice, no matter how hard it is, and the dumb person will stop annoying you so much.
Remember, it's much easier to be polite and nice than mean and sarcastic. Being mean is bad for your spirit and your stress levels and you'll be doing your mental well-being a big favor by being as nice as you can
Step 3. Avoid pointless debates
This has to do with avoiding controversial topics. If the dumb person ends up raising a controversial topic and shares his stupid opinion on the subject with everyone, resist the urge to prove the person wrong. Be polite, say something like "Everyone has their own opinions" or "How interesting" without mentioning that you completely disagree. So change the subject or ask permission to leave the conversation.
There is absolutely no reason to get into a debate with a dumb person, even if you think it will temporarily relieve you
Step 4. Control your emotions
Stupid people are professionals at making everyone around them annoyed or annoyed. But from now on, you're not going to let them affect you in such a way. If you want to be the dominant person in the conversation, stay cool; controlling your emotions is being smart. You don't want to look like an idiot just because you can't control what you feel.
- Be patient. It may take a little longer for a dumb person to understand things. Don't get angry or frustrated right away and give the person a chance.
- If you feel irritated by something the person is saying, just mentally repeat the following mantra: "this person is stupid, this person is stupid, this person is stupid", until you realize that there is no reason to care about the what she says.
- If you're really angry, count down from 50 to 0, count your breath, or go for a walk. Do whatever it takes to calm yourself down before you have to face the person again, if you ever have to.
- Don't give a donkey the satisfaction of knowing he has so much power over you. He will feel very smart if he senses that he is affecting you with the conversation.
Step 5. Ask them to clarify their opinions with facts
If you are really frustrated with an asshole, ask him to back up his opinion with facts and references. Asking for the foundation will make the person stop talking nonsense. Here are some polite things to say to make the person stop talking:
- "Oh really? Where did you read this?";
- "Are you really talking about the article that came out on Folha last week? Because to me, the article said something completely different…";
- "How interesting. Do you know the percentage of people who really are that way?";
- "It's fascinating that you have such strong opinions about the United States. How long have you lived there? It must have been a long time to have formed such an interesting opinion about the country."
Step 6. Ignore them if there is no better option
While ignoring people is rude and immature, there are some cases where this is the best option. If you're in a group, for example, and don't want to drop your social interactions because of an idiot, act like the person isn't there or don't respond to any of their comments. Chances are, if his opinions are really silly, someone will eventually comment on it. At best, everyone will ignore the asshole.
- If the person speaks to you with a stupid comment, just smile and act as if they said something nice instead of joining the conversation.
- Ignoring an idiot isn't exactly the most polite way to act, but it's a great way to keep them from talking to you.
Step 7. Get away whenever possible
Getting away from it is a fantastic option whenever possible. Of course, you can't just walk away from an idiot boss unless you want to put your job at risk. If you can get away from a random asshole who's yelling at you in the grocery store or out of a place where an idiot keeps trying to piss you off, all the better. Getting away is also a great way to calm down if you start to get angry.
Just say, "Excuse me, I have to go" if the idiot is a little more reasonable. You can also leave without saying anything: you don't owe anyone an explanation
Method 3 of 3: Not Being Affected
Step 1. Don't take it personally
It can be nearly impossible not to take something really silly personally, especially if it was said in an attempt to hurt you. However, the best way to deal with an idiot is to not let them affect you and learn to let whatever they say go in one ear and out the other. If you take things personally and take offense, you're giving the idiot a power he doesn't need. Just remember that these people are idiots and that their opinions shouldn't matter.
Your sense of self-worth cannot be dictated by the opinions of someone whose intelligence you don't even respect. Remember that the next time an idiot tries to make you feel inferior
Step 2. Recognize their strengths (if they have any)
Trying to be positive and give the idiot the benefit of the doubt is another excellent tactic for not getting affected. Sure, maybe your boss isn't that good at communicating, but think about all the positive things he's done for your company. Maybe your sister-in-law is an asshole at not revealing your personal information in public, but she's amazing at making you feel better when you've had a bad day.
Remember that most idiots aren't all bad and that they have some qualities too. It's always good to keep in mind that everyone has some commendable quality, however small. You will be able to be more tolerant of stupid people, especially if you have to deal with such people at work or at school
Step 3. Don't complain about them to other people
Of course, your co-worker or classmate may have said something so stupid that you feel a strong urge to tell ten of your closest acquaintances. You might even want to email or text everyone talking about all the details of that person's stupidity. But what good would that do? Of course, people will agree with you and agree that the person is an idiot. However, it is you who will be known for being someone bitter, cold, and, to some extent, cruel.
- And to make matters worse, it will give the idiot even more power. If you really know that this person is stupid and annoying, you shouldn't waste your strength and your time with him.
- If what the person said really upset you, discuss it with a close friend, but don't let it become an obsession or ruin your day.
Step 4. Be respectful whenever possible
This may seem impossible in the face of so much stupidity, but it is precisely for this reason that you should be as respectful as possible to a profoundly idiot person. Treat her like the Queen of England or the president of your company if you need to. Treating the person as a human being who deserves respect will make you a better person and will encourage the person to act in a more dignified way in the future.
Resist the first impulse. Sure, you can have the perfect sarcastic response to what's been said, but keep in mind that it won't get you anywhere
Step 5. Be grateful for all the smart people in your life (including yourself
).
Dealing with idiots on a daily basis will make you feel more grateful for all the calm, rational, intelligent people you know. If you are constantly uncomfortable with other people's idiocy, you probably have a very intelligent group of friends and family. Your intelligence standard is higher than usual.
Rather than being frustrated by someone's stupidity, remember that you are lucky to have such a smart girlfriend, best friend, mother, or friends. This will make you grateful for the positive people in your life rather than letting the idiots affect you
Tips
- Isolate yourself from the person when necessary.
- Don't get into conversations; speak only what is necessary for the person to understand.
- Always stay calm.
Notices
- Do not be mean. They may not be able to avoid what they are doing, or even understand what they are doing wrong.
- Never threaten to kill an idiot. If he's someone new, he might not understand that you're obviously making a joke. In turn, the idiot, by interpreting his threat as something real, can involve the police in the case.