If you have a younger brother, you probably have a lot of fights already. There is often a certain sibling rivalry. Trying to resolve a fight with a younger sibling can be frustrating and exhausting. Sibling fights are completely normal things, but it's important to know how to resolve conflicts on your own. With a little patience, it is possible to have a peaceful relationship with your brother.
Method 1 of 4: Calming Down
Step 1. Take a deep breath
You need to stop for a moment and take a deep breath to be able to think about the problem using your reason instead of your emotions.
- A great exercise to help you relax is the four-stroke breathing method. Inhale for four seconds, hold air for four seconds, exhale for four seconds, rest for four seconds, then breathe twice normally.. Repeat as many times as necessary until you are calm.
- Trying to work things out when you're on edge only makes the fight worse.
Step 2. Make room for yourself
Stay a little distance from your brother if necessary. Go to another room to think about the problem..
Get some fresh air. Being outdoors and close to nature is a great way to relax. Let your parents know and go for a walk or stay in the backyard
Step 3. Distract yourself
Allow 20 minutes to do something you enjoy. Listen to a song you love or read a chapter from a book. Put the problems aside for a while so you can see things more clearly.
Step 4. Write about your feelings
Take a notebook and spend time writing about the problem. Put all your stress and frustrations on paper. This will help you resolve the issue faster.
Step 5. Put yourself in the other person's shoes
Children often start fights with older siblings out of fear or jealousy.. Often they are just trying to get attention. Empathize with your brother and think about what might be causing this attitude.
Finding out the root of the problem can help you solve everything more easily. Remember that your brother is not trying to hurt you, children don't know how to handle their feelings very well, that's why they tend to get angry
Method 2 of 4: Talking to Your Brother
Step 1. Start the conversation
Having an open discussion is the best way to resolve any issue.
- Find a quiet place and call your brother to talk about the situation.
- Start with a positive attitude. If you're upset or defensive, he'll notice.
Step 2. Talk about how you feel
If you are upset with your brother for his behavior, make that clear. He may not understand the consequences of his actions, so be honest about what you're feeling.
A good way to talk without sounding aggressive is to start the sentence with "I".. For example: "I feel _____________ when you ___________ because ___________." This will keep your little brother from feeling attacked
Step 3. Know when to apologize
You may think you didn't do anything wrong, but young children are often more sensitive. Make it clear that you are on his side and are trying to solve the problem by apologizing.
Sometimes you have to let go of pride to resolve a conflict, especially when dealing with someone younger
Step 4. Listen to your brother
Young children often feel that no one pays attention to their problems. Show that you care and want to understand him by listening to what he has to say.
Method 3 of 4: Strengthening Your Relationship
Step 1. Show your love
Even if you fight with your brother, at the end of the day he will still be part of the family. Make him realize that you care and love him, that way he's less likely to want to fight. Show your love through your words or actions.
Step 2. Recognize your brother's achievements
When he gets a good grade in school, or helps you in any way, give him a compliment. This will help create a supportive relationship between you.
Step 3. Plan activities to do together
Spending time together will strengthen your relationship and make your brother feel like he's getting more attention.
- Schedule a fixed time to spend with your brother. This is a great way to show your affection for him. It will probably give you more space if you have specific time to play.
- Offer to help with homework or other projects. Your little brother probably admires you, and helping him out is a good way to show that you're on his side.
Step 4. Lead by example
You are an inspiration to your brother and he definitely makes choices about how to behave based on what you do.
If you are always upset and fighting with your brother, he will treat you the same way. Be patient and kind so he can reciprocate in the same way
Method 4 of 4: Keeping Your Distance
Step 1. Ask your brother to respect your space
While it's important to have a good relationship with him, it's also important to have time for yourself. Speak gently and explain that you need time alone every day.
Talk to your brother very kindly. It can be difficult for the little one to understand that you love them, but they still need some time alone
Step 2. Ask your parents for help
They may not understand that you're older and need a little more privacy. Talk to them about their needs so that you can find ways to avoid fighting with your brother.
Step 3. Get out of the house more
Physical distance will help you feel more independent and your brother's company will be more pleasant when you're at home.
- Do activities after school. Sign up for a sporting activity or acting class, for example. Talk to your parents about enrolling in a course or see if your school offers these activities.
- If you share a room with your brother, create a space in another place in the house that is just yours. Start doing your homework in the kitchen or on the sofa. You may not have your own room, but creating a fixed space to study or read can help you feel more independent.
- A library is a great place to spend time away from home. Talk to your parents about visiting a library after school or on weekends.
- Involve your parents when necessary. If the fight gets out of hand and you cannot handle the situation, seek help from a responsible adult.
- Your brothers are your future friends. It may seem difficult now, but as they grow older, the relationship will change. Many brothers find that differences disappear over time.
- Be patient. Remember that he is younger than you and doesn't know how to express how he feels. You were that age too, and you've probably gone through the same things. Try to have a little empathy for the moment your brother is living.
- Pretend you don't care when he's disturbing you.
- Don't be violent. This will only make things worse, as well as being dangerous.
- If you feel unsafe or if your sibling is physically hurting you, talk to your parents right away.
- Never yell at your brother, it will only make the fight worse.