Some people are naturally introverts, but spend their lives faking extraversion in an unhealthy attempt to please others. Being an introvert is nothing to be ashamed of, and you will do yourself a great deal of good if you know how to accept yourself as you really are. If you prefer to be someone more reserved most of the time, transmit signals - verbal and non-verbal - to communicate this preference to the people around you. Enjoy the ability to live life on your own terms, but never use introversion as an excuse to be rude.
Method 1 of 3: Flagging Your Preferences
Step 1. Be alone whenever you feel like it
Cultivating friendships and bonds with other people is great for emotional health, but so is spending time with yourself - there's nothing wrong with needing more time alone than most people, as long as it makes you happier and healthier.
- When you need to interact with someone but don't feel like it, organize your thoughts so that the conversation is as brief and superficial as possible.
- At school, if you don't feel comfortable sitting among other students, look for a desk in a secluded corner or back of the classroom. Join your colleagues when you feel like it.
Step 2. Don't feel obligated to speak - be silent when you prefer to remain silent
You'll want to chat with your friends every now and then, but don't force yourself to talk too much or even be outrageous just to try to please others or to fit into a group. Remain quiet most of the time, but be kind and considerate when you want to talk-that way, others will get the message that you want to interact, but on your own terms.
Pause to think before speaking. Assess whether a comment is really necessary - the number of times silence will be the best answer may surprise you
Step 3. Keep your opinions to yourself if you don't want to get anyone's attention
People who often express opinions openly are more likely to attract attention and even arouse the anger of others. Save your opinions for the moment you feel like sharing them with family and close friends.
You could be seen as someone mysteriously fascinating if you don't share your feelings and emotions with everyone
Step 4. Use body language to show that you prefer to be left alone
When you're in the hallway at school, for example, lean your body and one of your feet against the wall, and fold your arms or put your hands in your pockets - this posture conveys an image of detachment.
Don't make too much eye contact - instead, look at the ground or at nothing
Step 5. Be quiet and introverted, but never intentionally unpleasant
Go ahead and be silent whenever you feel like it, but never fail to respond - and use a minimally friendly tone of voice - when someone talks to you. There's no good reason to want to convey the image that you're obnoxious, and if you want to make an impression, stick with the image of a mysterious person.
Being indifferent and silent does not mean having a free pass to treat others like garbage - everyone has the right to be left alone, but other people deserve to be treated with a modicum of respect and dignity
Method 2 of 3: Going Your Way
Step 1. Stop ignoring your own desires to try to please others
Be polite to everyone, but don't use others' approval as the only guide to your actions. Learn to set limits when it comes to your time and availability - that way others will know when to leave you alone.
- Sometimes we need to say something like “Sorry, but I can't help you today. I really need to spend time alone this afternoon.”
- You have no right to harm anyone through your actions (or lack thereof), but neither should you feel guilty for wanting to prioritize your own desires whenever possible.
Step 2. React (or not) as you see fit
Follow your instincts when you feel like smiling, acting contemptuously, or doing absolutely nothing in a specific situation. Accept that your sincere feelings, attitudes, words or silences are all valid. On the other hand, you will also need to accept others' reactions to your responses or silences.
Being yourself is more important than modifying your attitudes to accept the opinion of others, but that does not mean that it is a free pass to act with malice or rudeness. Do not respond at all if you feel your reaction will be intentionally rude - others may still view your silence as rude, but this interpretation is out of your control
Step 3. Identify your own desires and don't pay attention to other people's opinions
Don't worry about what others will think when you want to find out what you really want to be or do in life - sooner or later you will need to assess whether your attitudes bother or hurt someone unnecessarily, but leave that reflection for later, when you have already identified the path you want to follow.
For example, focus first on your own desires as you discover the desire to quit your job to look for a career that is more to do with your personality - when you can clearly identify that desire, you can reflect on how this attitude would influence those around you.
Step 4. Make time for quiet, quiet activities if you feel they suit your personality
Maybe your friends want to play soccer, swim or skate, but you just want to stay home and read a good book, for example - reading is an emotionally calming and mentally stimulating activity for many introverts, so don't be ashamed of your preferences.
Journaling, writing creative essays, and creating artwork are other activities that go well with many more reserved people; but don't feel obligated to do any of them just because you're an introvert. Go ahead if you want to play football or skate
Step 5. Stay an arm's length away from anyone you're talking to
Cold people don't let others get too close. Also, they change the subject when someone asks about their life. It's not that cold people don't like people, it's that they have a hard time empathizing. Because they don't feel interested in other people, the cold ones see no reason to open up. They isolate themselves and avoid anyone who wants to get to know them better.
Method 3 of 3: Accepting yourself and improving as a person
Step 1. Start by accepting who you really are
No one can control how you are seen or accepted by others, but you can choose to accept yourself. If you're someone naturally quiet who cultivates a disinterested or indifferent attitude about many things in life, accept it as part of your personality - as long as it doesn't hurt anyone, there's no reason why you shouldn't be proud of it.
- Rather than wishing you were someone different, take the time to really learn about yourself. Identify and celebrate all the positive qualities of your unique personality, and find ways to improve those traits that still need attention.
- Focus on yourself. Cold people don't find it easy to interact with others or see things from a different perspective. Do not be curious or interested in others.
Step 2. Analyze yourself without being critical
Learn to recognize your heartfelt feelings and reactions, then decide which ones you want to keep and which ones you'd like to change-adopt the goal of being the best version of yourself.
Don't ignore your faults, but don't be too hard on yourself for them either - identify them, learn from them, strive to improve, but never try to become someone else
Step 3. Get help when you need it
Introverted people, particularly those more quiet and indifferent by nature, can be labeled “dark,” “disturbed,” or even “dangerous.” Labels are almost never fair or truthful, but don't be afraid to seek help from a professional if you feel that your actions are not beneficial to others or to yourself.
- Talk to a doctor if you are looking for recommendations from good mental health professionals.
- A good therapist will not try to change your personality, but will use techniques to help you be a healthier version of who you already are.
- If someone asks why you never say anything, feel free to answer, "This is just my way." However, if the question has an offensive or accusing tone, don't be afraid to add something like "Why? What do you have to do with this?"
- Being an introvert doesn't mean no friends - in fact, you may even have more intimate friendships than others.