4 Ways to Be a Mature Person

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4 Ways to Be a Mature Person
4 Ways to Be a Mature Person

Maturity is not just a matter of age. There are six-year-olds who are more mature than many 80-year-olds. Maturity is how you treat others and yourself, how you think and behave. So if you're tired of the childish conversations and bickering around you, or want people to have more respect for you, try some of the techniques below to learn how to be more mature and be the adult in the situation forever.


Method 1 of 4: Developing Mature Behavior

Be Mature Step 1

Step 1. Explore your interests

Lack of dynamism or hobbies and interests makes you look immature. Having something you really enjoy doing, in which you want to become an expert, provides experience and maturity. Also, it's something to talk to others about, even if they don't participate in the activity in question.

  • Try to keep your hobbies active and productive. It's really cool doing marathon TV shows, but that's not necessarily the best way to pass the time; this doesn't mean that you can't enjoy movies, series and video games, but that you should do something in addition to that.
  • Hobbies can increase self-esteem and creativity. They also stimulate parts of the brain that cause positive, happy feelings.
  • The sky is the limit! Anything can be done: learn to photograph, choose a musical instrument, study a new language! Beatbox, create a live-action RPG group. Whatever it is, remember to enjoy it, otherwise it becomes an obligation.
Be Mature Step 2

Step 2. Set goals and achieve them

Part of being mature is being able to assess one's strengths, determine what needs to be improved, and create goals for that – keep the future in mind and make choices to improve your life. Once your goals are outlined and ready, get to work!

  • Setting goals sounds too complicated, but don't worry. It does take some time and planning – start by figuring out what you want to improve. For example, maybe you want to complete your studies. This is the basis of your goals.
  • First you have to think about a few questions: who, what, when, how and why.
  • Who: who will be involved in achieving your goals. Obviously, you are the main person, but this question could include a private teacher, life coach, consultant, volunteer, etc.
  • What: what do you want to achieve? It's important to be very specific with this step. "Getting into college" is too vague and you'll never start with a goal like that. Instead, think of smaller, more specific things that will lead to the ultimate goal, like "applying to ENEM" and "studying past exams."
  • When: This will help you know when the smaller parts of the plan should be done. For example, there is a deadline to apply for ENEM, and if you miss it, the rest of your planning will be useless.
  • Where: It helps to know where you will work to achieve your goal. In the ENEM example, where are you going to study? Will you be staying after school hours? Are you going to the library? Are you going to study at your house or at a friend's house? Also, where should the application be made and where will the test take place?
  • How: In this step you should know how you are going to reach each goal. For example, what will the study schedule be like? What subjects will you need to study more for the exam? Will you be able to reconcile your other tasks with this one? How much does it cost to sign up?
  • Why: That's probably the main question, believe it or not. You're more likely to reach a goal if it's important and if you know its role in your life as a whole. Find out why your goal is important. For example, "I want to pass ENEM because it will help me get into college and start my career."
Be Mature Step 3

Step 3. Know when to be silly

To be mature you don't have to be serious all the time. True maturity is about recognizing the type of people around and knowing when it's appropriate to be playful or serious. It's good to have different levels of bullshit to evolve interactions properly.

  • Try to set aside a part of the day just for that. It takes time to relax and have fun. Do this daily (after school, for example) to allow yourself to clown around and mess around.
  • Of course, being funny in formal situations such as church, work, school and especially funerals is not appropriate, you are expected to pay attention and not to tease others. Being cute in these situations is extremely immature.
  • However, informal situations like hanging out with the class or spending time with the family are ideal for being funny. This helps form bonds!
  • Have parameters of when it's cool to make fun and when it's not. Don't be a pig-spirit and don't make offensive jokes in bad taste.
Be Mature Step 4

Step 4. Respect others

We all have to live together in the same world. Doing things to purposely piss others off, or just doing your own thing without thinking about people's feelings, shows you're an insensitive asshole, that is, immature. Try to remember the needs and desires of others, this will help you earn a reputation for respect and people will see you as mature.

Being respectful does not mean being a doormat, but that you should listen to what they say and treat people as you like to be treated; if someone is rude or rude to you, don't respond meanly, show you're better than that, and walk away

Be Mature Step 5

Step 5. Have mature friends

Your friends influence your behavior. Get together with people who will make you better and not put you down

Method 2 of 4: Developing Emotional Maturity

Be Mature Step 6

Step 1. Don't be a troublemaker

This type of behavior is often the result of insecurity and low self-esteem, an attempt to exert power over others. Making trouble is bad for everyone involved. Talk to a trusted friend, your parents or therapist about how to stop if you realize you are being a bully.

  • There are three types of bullying: verbal, social and physical.
  • Verbal bullying consists of name-calling, threats, intimidation or inappropriate comments; although words do not cause physical harm, they can result in serious emotional problems. Pay attention to what you say and don't say something you wouldn't want to hear. Remember: “Whoever says what he wants, listens to what he doesn't want.”.
  • Social bullying involves damaging one's social image and relationships. Humiliating, spreading rumors and gossip are social bullying.
  • Physical bullying is physically assaulting someone, or breaking someone's stuff. Any kind of physical violence, trying to destroy other people's things or making rude and threatening gestures are forms of physical bullying.
  • Don't condone bullying if it happens around you. It's not necessary to get physically involved with a troublemaker – in fact, it can be dangerous – but there are other ways to help create an environment free of bullying. Try:

    • Set a good example by not picking on anyone.
    • Telling bullies their behavior is wrong.
    • Be nice to bullying victims.
    • Inform adults what is happening.
  • If you think you're behaving in this way, it's a good idea to talk to a therapist. Perhaps you have more serious problems that make you feel that you need to take it out on others. A professional can suggest approaches to developing healthier relationships.
Be Mature Step 7

Step 2. Avoid gossip, spreading rumors and talking about others behind their backs

Backbiting can hurt as much as a punch in the face, maybe even more. Even if it's just "no mean little gossip" it can end up hurting someone. Mature people care about the needs and feelings of others and do their best not to hurt anyone.

  • Besides, gossip won't make you more popular or cool. According to studies, gossip is okay in the fifth grade, but in the ninth grade (when more mature is expected) gossips are often less liked and less popular.
  • Don't encourage gossip. When someone starts talking about the lives of others in front of you, speak out against it; research shows that if just one person says "I don't like to talk about other people's lives" it will make a big difference and impact whoever is present.
  • Sometimes we say nice things about others and people distort our words, creating gossip in the same way. For example, maybe you say to a friend "I love hanging out with So-and-so, she's so funny!" and he says that to another friend, who tells another friend that you said otherwise. You cannot control how people interpret or react to what is said, you can only control what is said. That the your words are always good.
  • A good way to find out if something is gossip or hearsay is to ask yourself: would I want others to know or hear about me? If the answer is no, then don't spread it.
Be Mature Step 8

Step 3. Be superior if someone is rude to you

If possible, don't respond; your silence will show that what the person said was not nice. But if you can't ignore it, tell her what she said was rude, and if she apologizes, take it – but if she doesn't, walk away.

Be Mature Step 9

Step 4. Be open-minded.

Mature people are open-minded. Just because you've never heard of it or haven't tried something doesn't mean you should close down and exclude the possibility; try to see this as an opportunity to learn about something (or someone) new and different.

  • If someone has a belief different from yours, don't judge them right away. Ask questions like "Can you talk more about it?" or "Why do you do this?"
  • Try to listen more than you speak, at least at first. Don't interrupt people or say "But I think ___". Let them speak. You might be surprised by what you hear.
  • Ask for clarification. When someone does or says something that doesn't feel right, ask for an explanation before making a rash judgment. For example, if you think someone has insulted your beliefs, take a deep breath and say something like "I understand _____. Is that what you meant?" If the person says no, accept it.
  • Don't expect the worst from people. Face every situation as if the participants were like you: human. Probably no one will be deliberately mean or cruel, but everyone can be wrong. Learning to accept that people fail and are the way they are will help you become more mature.
  • There will be times when you will disagree with the person. Okay, it's possible to agree to disagree. That's part of being mature.
Be Mature Step 10

Step 5. Trust yourself

Don't apologize for your quirks, even if others don't approve of them. As long as your behavior is not antisocial and does not harm others, feel free to express your individuality. Mature people don't doubt themselves and don't try to be who they aren't.

  • Developing hobbies and skills is great for improving self-confidence. You'll learn that you can achieve anything you conceive of, and you'll have a pool of cool talents to share with others.
  • Beware of the inner critic. When a negative thought about yourself comes up, think about whether you would tell a friend that; if not, why say it to you? Try to reframe these thoughts positively.
  • For example, you might think "I'm dumb! I'm not good for math anyway," but that thought doesn't help at all and it's definitely not something you would say to a friend.
  • Rephrase that thinking in terms of what can be done about it: “I'm not good at math, but I can study to learn. Even if I don't get a ten on the test, I can do my best.”.
Be Mature Step 11

Step 6. Be genuine

A real trait of maturity is being honest with yourself. You can be self-confident without being arrogant or showing off. A mature person does not need to belittle others or be something other than himself.

  • Talk about the things that interest you most. You can tell when something is important to you.
  • When negative thoughts arise, it's easy to go into denial. For example, if the thought "I'm terribly worried about next week's exam" comes up, your first reaction might be to pretend not to, nothing scares you. This is not being true to yourself; it is more mature to admit that you are insecure or vulnerable. Everyone goes through situations where they don't feel confident, this is normal.
  • Express your feelings clearly. Rolling around or being passive-aggressive are not genuine and mature ways to deal with them. Be polite and respectful, but don't be afraid to say how you feel.
  • Do what you think is right. There will be times when you will be criticized and mocked for it. However, if you have principles, you will know that you are being true to yourself; if people don't respect that, well… you didn't even want their opinion.
Be Mature Step 12

Step 7. Accept your responsibilities

Possibly the most important part of becoming more mature is taking responsibility for your words and actions. Remember that things don't happen out of the blue for you, it's your life and you're its agent; your words and actions have consequences for you and others. Take it on when you make a mistake and recognize that you cannot control what others do, only what you do yourself.

  • Accept responsibility when things go wrong. For example, if you do poorly on a school assignment, don't blame the teacher. Think about everything you've done to achieve this result. What can be improved on the next opportunity?
  • Think less about the fairness of things. Almost nothing in life is fair – sometimes you will deserve something you won't get. Being mature is not letting injustices become obstacles in the way of success.
  • Control what you can. Sometimes it may seem like you have no control over your life, and part of it is true. It's not possible to interfere with whether the restaurant owner will give the job or not, or if the person you're in the mood for will go out with you, but there are things you can control. For example:

    • In the case of work: you can review and improve your CV before submitting it, you can better prepare for the interview, dress professionally on the day of the interview, be punctual, etc. You may still not get the job, but he did everything in his power.
    • In the case of relationship: you can be respectful, funny and kind and you can also be yourself; you can be vulnerable and ask him in dating. These things you can control, and even if they don't go your way, you know you've done your best.
  • Don't accept defeat. Most of the time, people give up because it's easier than trying again. It's much easier to say "I'm a loser" than "It didn't work out that way, let's see how it works." Take responsibility for your choices and choose to keep trying, no matter what.

Method 3 of 4: Speaking Like an Adult

Be Mature Step 13

Step 1. Control your mood.

Anger is a powerful emotion, but it can be mastered. Don't dramatize things that aren't that important. When you find yourself getting annoyed, stop and count to ten to think about your answer before saying anything. With this, you will avoid possible regrets and communicate with more maturity.

  • After you stop, ask yourself what's really going on. What is the problem? Why are you upset? You might find yourself angry about something that happened two days ago and has nothing to do with the situation right now.
  • Think of possible solutions to the problem. Think before you act. What would solve the problem?
  • Think about the consequences. That's where a lot of people get stuck; doing what comes to the tile is very tempting, but will it solve the problem? Or will it make the situation worse? Think about the likely outcome of each action.
  • Choose a solution. After thinking through the consequences of each option, choose the one that works best for you. Note that this isn't usually the most fun or the easiest, but that's part of growing up.
  • Use a calm voice and sensible arguments to justify how you feel if you really need to say something; turn your back and walk away if the person just wants to argue and refuses to listen – it's not worth it.
  • When you're furious and about to explode, take a deep breath and count to ten. Maintain self-control and don't let hate take over.
  • People probably like to tease you if your fuse is too short.When you get a grip, they'll lose interest in pissing you off and leave you alone.
Be Mature Step 14

Step 2. Learn assertive communication techniques

When adults want to communicate maturely, they use assertive behaviors and techniques. Assertiveness is not arrogance or aggression, but the ability to express feelings and needs clearly and to hear others do the same. Self-centered people do not care about the needs of others and only think about getting what they want, when they want, no matter who it hurts. Learn to defend yourself without being aggressive or arrogant and you will certainly feel more mature. Here are some ways to communicate assertively:

  • Use "I" affirmations. Affirmations starting with "you" make people feel that they are being blamed and end up closing themselves off to any conversation. Focusing on your feelings and experiences paves the way for productive and mature communication.

    For example, instead of telling your parents "You never listen to me!" try using an "I" statement: "I feel my point of view is ignored." When you say you "feel" in a certain way, it's easier for the person to be interested in your motives

  • Recognize the needs of others too. Life is not just you. It's great to be able to communicate your feelings and needs clearly, but remember to ask about people's wants. Being able to put people before ourselves is a great sign of maturity.
  • Don't jump to conclusions. If you don't know what happened to a certain person, ask! Don't judge beforehand – remember, you don't know everything.

    • For example, if your friend forgot you were going shopping, don't assume it's because she doesn't care about you or because she's a terrible person.
    • Instead, use an "I" statement and ask her to explain herself next: "I was disappointed when you didn't show up. What happened?"
  • Offer help to others. Instead of saying "I want to skate" ask the group's opinion: "What do you want to do?"
Be Mature Step 15

Step 3. Avoid swearing too much

Many people and cultures consider swear words an immature way to communicate. Using bad words can shock people and even make them feel disrespected; people may also end up thinking that you don't know or can't speak properly. Instead of using profanity, try expanding your vocabulary. As you learn new words, use them to express yourself.

Try inventing a game to craft creative interjections when you smack your finger. It's funnier (and awesome!) to say something creative like "damaids!"

Be Mature Step 16

Step 4. Speak politely and avoid raising your voice

People are uncomfortable when someone talks too loudly, especially if there is anger – they can even leave the person talking to themselves. Screaming is for babies, not adults.

Use a calm, even tone of voice, even if you are upset

Be Mature Step 17

Step 5. Pay attention to your body language

Your body can say as much as your words. For example, crossing your arms shows that you are not interested in what is being said; having a relaxed posture shows that you don't care, or that you'd like to be somewhere else. Learn what your body wants to say and get the right message across.

  • Leave your arms relaxed at your sides instead of crossing them.
  • Stand erect, chest out and head held high.
  • Remember that your face also communicates. Do not roll your eyes or look at the floor.
Be Mature Step 18

Step 6. Talk about adult topics

Examples of more serious topics are school, news, experiences and lessons learned throughout life; of course there should be time for relaxation as well – it's a matter of assessing the audience. You don't talk about the same things to your best friend and your math teacher.

  • Make questions. A sign of maturity is intellectual curiosity; just being able to talk to someone is not very mature. Ask for their opinion, ask what you think. When someone says something interesting, say "What do you mean? Tell me more about it!"
  • Don't pretend you know something you don't know. It can be difficult to admit that you don't know anything about something, after all you are trying to show that you are mature and informed. But if you say you know and show that you really have no idea, you'll make a fool of yourself. It's much better to say something like "I don't know about this, but tell me about it!"
Be Mature Step 19

Step 7. Say something cool

Don't speak if you don't have anything good to say. Immature people are always criticizing things, pointing out faults in other people and not hesitating to offend; sometimes they justify cruelty with "I'm just being honest"; mature people think a lot before they speak and don't hurt anyone in this "sincerity quest." Pay attention to what you say, don't hurt people – treat everyone as you want to be treated.

Be Mature Step 20

Step 8. Learn to truly apologize for your mistakes

No matter how much you avoid it, you will eventually hurt someone without meaning to. We all do stupid things from time to time because no one is perfect. Learn to swallow your pride and say "I'm sorry". A genuine and honest apology for a mistake made shows a lot of maturity.

Be Mature Step 21

Step 9. Tell the truth gently.

This skill is super hard to master, but wondering if we'd like someone to tell us this can help. There's a Buddhist saying, "If you're going to say something, always ask yourself: Is it true, is it necessary, is it kind? Think about it before you speak. Anyone in the conversation will appreciate your honesty, and the gentleness will show that you truly care. the others.

  • For example, if a friend asks you if your dress makes you fat, think about what will be most helpful. Beauty is subjective, offering an opinion based only on the look doesn't help much, however, saying that you love her and that she is just the way she should be can boost her self-confidence at the time.
  • In case you really don't think her outfit is pretty, there are nice ways to say, if she thinks it will help somehow: "I prefer the red dress" doesn't even mention her friend's body – no one needs that – but she replies that this isn't the best choice ever.
  • Behavioral researchers claim that some kinds of dishonesty are "for the good" of people, those little lies we tell to help others avoid embarrassing situations or to keep them from getting hurt. It's up to you to decide if you want to do this, but whatever you choose, make it kindly.

Method 4 of 4: Be Courteous

Be Mature Step 22

Step 1. Have good manners when interacting with people

Shake hands firmly and look into the eyes as you greet them; if your culture has a different custom for greeting people, use it appropriately and politely. When meeting someone new, make an effort to remember the person's name by repeating it: "Nice to meet you, Rodrigo." Good manners show respect, something of a mature person.

  • Throughout any conversation, listen carefully and make eye contact. Don't stare, use the 50/70 rule: make eye contact 50% of the time while talking and 70% of the time while the person talks.
  • Don't be wringing your hands or moving wildly. This is a sign of lack of self-confidence. Keep your hands open and relaxed.
  • Don't wonder where you'd rather be. Most people detect boredom from miles away and notice when there is no interest in the conversation, which can hurt.
  • Don't talk on your cell phone or type messages when you should pay attention to the person talking to you. This is lack of respect.
  • When entering a new situation or community, be quiet for a while and notice how people behave. It's not your job to tell people what to do and what not to do. Observe and be respectful.
Be Mature Step 23

Step 2. Get internet education

Using internet etiquette shows that you respect your friends, family and others who are part of your online life. This is a sign of maturity; keep in mind that everything you write online is visible to important people like potential employers, bosses, teachers, etc., so don't say things you might later regret.

  • Avoid rude or offensive language. Do not use more than one exclamation point or question mark. Remember you're not there to answer questions, so don't overwhelm your audience.
  • use the key shift. Capitalize proper nouns and the beginning of sentences instead of writing everything in lowercase. Don't mix upper and lower case (so it's hard to read).
  • Do not use UPPERCASE ON ALL TEXT. On the internet this is equivalent to screaming. It's okay to write like that on Twitter when your football team wins the championship, but on social media and email messages it's best to avoid.
  • When sending an email, use a greeting (such as "dear" or "dear"); starting a message without this is impolite, especially if the recipient is a person you don't know well, or someone like a teacher. Don't forget to close with something like "Thank you" or "Sincerely".
  • Please review before sending an email or posting to social media to exclude any errors. Use complete sentences and score correctly.
  • Take it easy on emoticons, abbreviations and slang. It's okay to use them in informal conversations with friends, but don't use them in emails to the teacher or other situations where you should behave maturely.
  • Remember the internet's golden rule, like the real-life golden rule: Treat others the way you want to be treated; if you want someone to be kind to you, be kind too. When you don't have anything good to say, don't say anything.
Be Mature Step 24

Step 3. Be helpful

Hold doors, help carry things, offer yourself to anyone who needs it. Be helpful in your community, give tutoring to children who need it, ie volunteer at some organization or institution. When we do good for others, we feel happier. Serving others and not just yourself is a very mature attitude.

  • Helpful attitudes also increase self-esteem. Studies have shown that by helping others, we feel a sense of accomplishment and pride in what we've done.
  • Being helpful is not a two-way street. Sometimes you will help someone who won't even thank you, let alone offer help in return. Remember to be helpful to yourself, not to gain anything.
Be Mature Step 25

Step 4. Avoid being the center of attention

Dominating the conversation constantly and talking about yourself without making room for others is a lack of maturity and respect. Showing real interest in people shows that you are not self-centered and mature; you may even learn something new or end up admiring the person, depending on what they say.

Be Mature Step 26

Step 5. Accept praise and criticism maturely

Say "thank you" and only when someone compliments you; be polite and say something like "Okay, I'll think about it" if someone criticizes you. The criticism may not be valid, but knowing how to handle it elegantly shows how mature you are at this kind of occasion.

  • Try not to take criticism personally. Sometimes the person is trying to help but is not getting the message across. In this case, ask for clarification: "I understand you said you didn't like my essay, but what exactly? Can you tell me what it's like for me to improve next time?".
  • Criticism often exposes the person who made it more than the person criticized, even more if he is unfair or aggressive; remember that the person may be trying to put you down to feel better. Don't get affected.
  • Accepting criticism with grace does not mean not defending yourself. If someone hurts you, say calmly and politely, "I'm sure it wasn't your intention, but when you said that about my outfit I was hurt. Next time, can you not comment on my appearance?"


  • Be kind, understanding and friendly to everyone. Don't just do this for a day, do it always.
  • Maturity is hard to reach. However, don't change who you are to be more mature. Instead, try to be your best version. It's not about who is older anymore, if you want to be taken seriously by people, think and act like that. Be firm and own your choices, if something goes wrong, do your best to stay calm and think about the next step; don't blame others, you are mature, be responsible.
  • When in a conflict with others, avoid arguing, try to resolve it in a calm and rational way; if things get worse, end the fight as soon as possible.
  • Treat others the way you want to be treated. That's basically the definition of maturity.
  • Write down your goals to become more mature and plan how to go about it. For example, you might decide to start by being quieter rather than talking all the time. Practice this all week and see the result at the end. Even if it's not perfect at first, keep trying.
  • Have elegance. Even if someone doesn't deserve a second chance, give it. It will make you a better and more mature person too.
  • Know what you should look like in every situation. An orange mohawk shows your individuality, but on a formal occasion people might think you're trying to appear, even if it's not true.
  • Try to pay attention to other people's problems too. This will make you look more mature.
  • Being punctual is a virtue.

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