How to Be a Good Boyfriend: 14 Steps (with Pictures)

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How to Be a Good Boyfriend: 14 Steps (with Pictures)
How to Be a Good Boyfriend: 14 Steps (with Pictures)

Being a good boyfriend isn't always easy, even if you have the most amazing girlfriend in the world. A good boyfriend knows when to talk or listen, when to offer advice or just sympathy, and when the time is right to pay attention to his girlfriend or give her a little space. You should be someone she can trust and admire, and even someone who can make her a better girlfriend. A good boyfriend knows how to adapt to situations and understands that his job is never done.


Method 1 of 2: Expressing and Sharing Feelings

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Step 1. Be honest

In any relationship, and with only very rare exceptions, honesty is the best policy. By being honest from the start of dating, you will be less likely to face problems in the future.

  • Say what your loved one needs to know, but don't smother them with the truth. For example, if you've had a serious relationship in the past, you can talk about it without sharing every detail about your ex.
  • Season sincerity with kindness. Don't feel obligated to turn every answer into a compliment. Instead, offer an alternative. For example, if she's trying on an outfit and asks for your opinion, tell her that the outfit looks good, but that blue coat was your favorite so far because it brings out her eyes.
  • Feel comfortable being sincere but also accepting her sincerity. If you want to be a good boyfriend, you must be able to handle the truth.
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Step 2. Trust her

Trust your loved one and give them reasons to trust you. Trust must be the foundation of a relationship. In this way, you can cultivate a relationship without secrets, in addition to understanding what the other wants, feels and needs.

  • Show confidence in your girlfriend by telling things about yourself that most people don't know.
  • Make her feel safe to trust you by showing interest and concern whenever she shares something personal and important.
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Step 3. Contribute equally to conversations

When you talk, look for a balance in the flow of the conversation. If you're too quiet, your girlfriend may think you're losing interest. If you talk too much, she might think you are self-centered or just rude.

  • A dialogue consists of give and take. The same goes for relationships. They never work when they are one-sided.
  • Of course, there will be times when you'll talk a lot (like when something important or exciting happens) or when you're quieter (like when something bad happens). In general, however, always look for a balance in the conversation.
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Step 4. Learn to listen

Instead of thinking about the next thing you're going to say, or something else entirely, focus on listening to the other person. Think about what she is saying. Always show interest and involvement when you are with her.

  • Remember: talking to your girlfriend doesn't just mean accepting what's been said, but also remembering it. If she's talking about an important experience, make a mental note about it.
  • If she's already talked about the same thing twice and you still have no idea what's being said, you weren't really listening. She will realize this and will not be happy at all.
  • "Listen" to non-verbal "conversations". Learn to notice when something is bothering your loved one, even if he doesn't say anything about it. What are her facial expressions, body language or even the way she curls her hair saying?
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Step 5. Learn to enter into an agreement

This is a very important element of successful conversations. If you can't disagree without starting a fight or without someone immediately giving in to the other's needs, dating has a problem. To learn to compromise, you must be able to communicate your needs and desires while understanding the other person's point of view rather than ignoring it.

  • After you talk about how you see a situation, you can work together to create a list of pros and cons and decide which measure will work best for both sides.
  • Sometimes you will have to make allowances for each other. There's nothing wrong with that, as long as you take turns. If she picks the movie you're going to watch tonight, for example, you'll have to pick the restaurant you're going to have dinner at.
  • Learning to reach an agreement involves using a calm, calm tone of voice during a disagreement. Never yell, curse or (under any circumstances, never) hit another person, no matter how angry you are. Take a walk if necessary, and come back when you can talk rationally.
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Step 6. Offer support

You can show support by being available, listening carefully, and showing interest in the things she says. When you spend time together, make an effort to be present and attentive to her needs. By being a source of support, you will reinforce the feeling of security and reciprocity within dating, and by encouraging your loved one to pursue their own dreams and goals, they will encourage you in return.

  • Provide support when she needs to study for an important test or college entrance exam, or when she is worried about her future.
  • If she has a troubled week or month, you should help her out and do little favors like cooking lunch or giving her a ride to college, anything that makes her days easier.
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Step 7. Be understanding

If something is important to your loved one, it should also be important to you. It doesn't matter if you wouldn't give a damn about that subject if it weren't for her - a relationship involves compassion and sharing experiences. When she's upset, put yourself in her shoes and try to understand her point of view. Don't belittle her feelings because you think they're "no big deal."

  • Always demonstrate listening and be sincere when comforting her. If you don't really feel sorry, try changing your mindset. Put yourself in her shoes.
  • At times, maybe she just wants to cry and be comforted. Don't try to fix problems right away. Let her deal with her emotions before trying to be practical.
  • If she's upset, it's important to ask, "Do you want to talk about it?" Show that you really care. If she's not ready to talk about it yet, don't push it.

Method 2 of 2: Showing Affection

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Step 1. Show affection often

Show how much you love your girlfriend by being very affectionate. Touching, hugging, kissing, and maybe even a little public display of affection are just a few ways to connect through affection.

  • Don't overdo it - you shouldn't make her uncomfortable. Remember to read your loved one's signs, and if they're not in a good mood, don't kiss them.
  • Often, even a light touch is greatly appreciated. If she's romantic, when you first meet her in a few days say something like, "I missed you…" and wrap your arms around her hips to give her a loving hug.
  • Depending on your loved one's preferences, also try giving them a little kiss on the lips, cheek, forehead, or neck to show how much you appreciate their company. You can also just kiss her hand, taking it and bringing it to your lips.
  • If you're not sure how your girlfriend feels about public displays of affection, be discreet. Believe it or not, not every girl likes to walk hand in hand.
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Step 2. Admire her beauty

Offer compliments whenever she tries hard to look good, but also remember to make it clear that your girlfriend can relax and be herself by your side. Don't make her feel like she must always look amazing. She should know you think she's pretty anyway, whether you've spent an hour getting ready or just waking up.

  • When she gets a haircut or puts on a new outfit, show her that you noticed the change and that you think she looks wonderful.
  • Admiring someone's appearance is not as superficial as it may seem. When we really like someone, that person will always be beautiful in our eyes, regardless of the situation. When you feel this way about your girlfriend, tell her.
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Step 3. Praise her sincerely

Praise your loved one as much as possible, but don't smother them. Don't just praise the looks, but also the personality. That way, she'll know that you don't just care about the physical, but also what's inside. She is more likely to cultivate self-confidence if you give her reasons to feel confident through these compliments.

  • Go beyond common statements. For example, don't just say, "You look beautiful." Instead, say, "This dress really brings out your eyes" or "This haircut matches the shape of your face." The more specific you are, the more unique and appreciated the compliment.
  • Even the smallest and most silly compliments can be very significant. Phrases such as, "You have a beautiful handwriting" or "You have an impressive talent for goal-making" can boost someone's confidence when spoken sincerely. They also show that you are paying attention.
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Step 4. Give gifts at special times and also at random times

No healthy relationship is based on gifts, no matter how fancy or expensive they are. However, giving with consideration and purpose will provide lasting displays of interest, attention, and affection.

  • Strive to give gifts for birthdays, Valentine's Day, Christmas or other special occasions. Choose a reasonable and thoughtful gift. He doesn't have to be expensive, he should just show consideration for who she is and the things she likes.
  • Consider special touches, such as a necklace with a loved one's name on it or a pendant that means something important to her, like a snowflake if she likes skiing or a musical note if she likes to play an instrument.
  • When you are together, pay attention to her interests. She might point out something she likes in a shop window or talk about something she wants to try, like riding a horse. Don't just think about material possessions - experiences can be far more exciting and fun gifts than a list of objects.
  • Sometimes, give a gift "just for giving". Every now and then, buy something out of nowhere and give it away just because you "thought about it." This kind of gift makes a big impact on the person who receives it, because it is unexpected and pleasant.
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Step 5. Spice up dating with doses of spontaneity

While familiarity is one of the most comfortable aspects of a relationship, try not to fall into the trap of doing the same things over and over again. Although you will probably have one or two regular activities that you love to do together, avoid them being the only activities for the couple.

  • Instead, try visiting new places, trying new activities, and seeing different parts of the city. Even if the new activities don't go as planned, at least you shared the experience and got to know each other even more.
  • By re-spicing things, you'll keep the excitement in your relationship and make your outings more refreshing. You will also create memories that will survive the experiences.
  • Every now and then, catch your girlfriend by doing something different - from betting a race and dancing without music to buying a bucket of Lego and encouraging her to build something that represents your love.
  • Plan a surprise trip. You can choose a destination in advance and tell her to pack her bags only when it's time to leave. Of course, use common sense and take her preferences into account. Maybe she loves the mystery and excitement of a journey to an unknown destination, maybe not.
  • If she says she has never visited a national park or a historic city in the area where you live, take her there without telling her where you are going. Your girlfriend will love the spontaneity and the fact that you paid attention to what she said.
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Step 6. Take care of yourself

Make your loved one feel needed, useful, and appreciated, but don't be needy or overly dependent. Maintain good hygiene habits, be clean and organized, set personal and professional goals, and work hard. You will not be a good boyfriend if you are not responsible for yourself.

  • Be proud of how you look and how you present yourself to the rest of the world. Maintaining a good image (both in terms of appearance, but also, and even more importantly, your behavior) will make your girlfriend look positive too, and she will be grateful for that.
  • She won't be able to have fun in the relationship if she feels like she always has to complain to get you to do one thing or another. She wants to take care of you, but she doesn't want to become your mother.
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Step 7. Give your loved one (and yourself) some individual space

Just because you guys date doesn't mean she's yours, which implies some kind of ownership. You don't need to live together to maintain a great relationship. In fact, letting her pursue her own interests without monitoring her every five seconds will only make her love you even more.

  • Find a balance that allows you time to be alone, with friends and also with each other.
  • Spending time with your own friends will allow you to enjoy each other's company even more.
  • Keeping different social agendas will also provide something to talk about when you meet again.
  • Also, cultivate some independent interests. Keep hobbies, sports, and other interests you already cultivated before meeting her. While it's great to find an activity the couple enjoy doing together, don't force your girlfriend to watch a football game if she doesn't want to, and don't join her in yoga unless you really feel like trying.
  • Cultivating different interests will help the couple to preserve a sense of individuality and each partner to grow independently so you can grow together.


  • Ask what she likes about you and show that side more. If, for example, she admires your smile, smile more often. If she likes to race you, race your girlfriend, but keep up with her speed, slowing down, overtaking her, overtaking her and falling behind again. She'll like you even more for doing little things that make her happy.
  • Talk to her regularly. Send messages, call, show you care!
  • Say how you feel. If you're upset, angry, or happy, tell her. She will want to help you feel better.
  • Don't rush the relationship, take it easy.
  • If your girlfriend doesn't like your best friend, show her that there's nothing to worry about and that you will remain faithful.
  • If you feel jealous when you see her talking to someone else, don't get frustrated or angry. This will only make your loved one feel like you're obsessed with them. Talk about the problem and she will likely change that attitude.
  • Have self-confidence. This will help her to be self-confident too. Also, some girls like a little arrogance. But don't overdo it.
  • If someone is flirting with her, make jokes about it or tease her a little bit, but don't get mad. She'll notice if that's the case.
  • Be yourself! That's why she's with you.
  • In bad times, focus on trying to make things work, not trying to decide who is right.
  • If your girlfriend is sad or angry, don't let her stay that way for too long. Have a conversation to understand why she feels that way, and she'll know you care.
  • When you notice something bothering you, ask why. She's likely to respond, but if she doesn't, don't ask again. She'll talk about it when she's ready.


  • Don't say or do things you'll regret later, because you'll end up in a very messy situation. If you feel like you're about to explode and say things you'll regret later, the best thing to do is leave your girlfriend alone. After a few hours, send a text message to chat and see if she's okay.
  • Never talk about something you almost did for your girlfriend but ended up not doing for whatever reason.For example, saying, "I thought about buying this gift but changed my mind" or "I almost took the day off to be with you, but I decided it was a bad idea" won't make the loved one think you're considerate. for her, but decided that she is not worth it.
  • If she sees you doing something that could be easily misinterpreted, don't say, "It's not what you're thinking" or "It's not what it looks like." Hold her hand (she'll probably try to pull away), look her in the eye and tell her you love her. Explain that she is the only woman for you and clarify why the situation really isn't what it seems.
  • Never blame your girlfriend for her family's attitudes. No one can control what the family does or says. You can say that you were bothered by something someone said or did, but leave them alone after that.
  • Don't be too sticky. She needs personal space as much as you do. If she wants to go out with friends or do something that doesn't involve going out with you, take it.
  • Don't embarrass her. Most people feel embarrassed when talking about underwear, hygiene habits, sex, and the like in public. Remember, these things may appeal to you, but she may not want to make them public. Also, never tell a funny story about the two of you without her consent, and if she tries to stop you, don't continue. This will hurt her, because it demonstrates that impressing her friends and making them laugh is more important to you than avoiding making her feel like an idiot.
  • When she is angry and yells at you, never yell back. Calm her down and resolve the situation in a civilized way. This will keep the situation under control and help them resolve issues with less conflict.

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