Sibling relationships can be quite frustrating. Sometimes you get along fine, but other times you want to kill yourself? It's common for younger siblings to feel unwanted or bullied by older siblings, so don't feel like you're the only one to experience this. If your older sister is being mean to you, follow the tips below to reverse this situation.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Being kind to your sister
Step 1. Be nice
It's important to treat others as we'd like to be treated, right? If you feel hurt when your sister is mean, why would you want to hurt her that way? Being a good youngest is the first step in winning your older sister's favor.
Don't interact with her when she's angry. If you're in a bad mood, chances are you'll end up taking it out on your sister, but that's only going to make things worse
Step 2. Be the mature woman of the house
Despite being younger, that doesn't mean you should be immature. Even if your sister is being mean, that doesn't give you the right to fight back in kind. Instead of snapping at her during fights, don't say anything.
Choose your battles well. When your sister tries to start a fight, think about the importance of the argument before you get involved. Do you mind winning the fight? Is the result important? Don't waste your time discussing silly things
Step 3. Do nice things for your sister
Doing little things like helping her with household chores or offering to play a hobby with her are good ways to show that you're willing to improve your relationship. Hopefully, she will notice your efforts and treat you better.
- Don't do all your sister's chores and don't let her abuse your goodwill. Ideally, help her with tasks that might be beneficial to you too, such as washing the dishes.
- If your sister is in a play at school, offer to practice lines with her. Or, if she plays football, to train a little with her.
Step 4. Avoid rivalry
As you are completely different people, you are probably good at different things. Let's say you're good at basketball and your sister at acting. Or, that you get good grades while she is the leader of the high school football team. No matter your differences, accept them and enjoy them, without comparing them!
- No example, don't be bragging whenever you get a good grade. Your sister may be annoyed that she does poorly at school and her behavior only makes the situation worse.
- Celebrate your sister's achievements without belittling her. If she did well in the last game, congratulate her! No jealousy!
Part 2 of 4: Talking to your sister
Step 1. Tell how her actions make you feel
She's hurting her feelings, but maybe she doesn't realize she's doing it. It's important to say how you're feeling and make this clear so that she understands the consequences of her actions.
- When talking, act relaxed and inviting. If you want to talk to her, say something like "I'd like to talk to you for a few minutes, okay?"
- Tell how she hurts you and explain how her actions hurt: "I get really hurt when you _. It upsets me because _."
Step 2. Ask if you have done anything for her
Older sisters are easily irritated with younger sisters, so ask if you have done anything to motivate her behavior. If so, find out how you can resolve the situation.
- Say something like "I really want to improve our relationship. Did I do something that pissed off or hurt you recently?"
- When you receive an answer, ask what you can do to improve: "What can I do to be a better sister? I really want us to stop fighting."
Step 3. Have a fun conversation to bond with your sister
While serious conversations are necessary to resolve conflicts, bonding through fun and casual conversations is also important. Praise her shoes, say you like the posters she's put up on her bedroom walls, talk about her crushes, etc. Have fun together and get closer!
- Make it clear that you enjoy spending time with her and would like to do it more often.
- Older sisters usually like to give advice. If you ask her for help with things like clothes, love and music, she will certainly enjoy the conversation.
Part 3 of 4: Strengthening the Bonds
Step 1. Try to find something in common
Your sister might push you away because you're younger, but by showing things you have in common, you might be able to prove that the age difference isn't so unimportant. Try to find activities, movies and music that you both like and enjoy together! If she enjoys the time she spends with you, chances are good that the disagreements will lessen. For example, when your sister isn't busy, ask her if she wants to watch some YouTube clips with you.
- Watch a TV show every week. That way, you will always have time together to have fun and talk.
- If you both like to get your hands dirty, how about making brownies or cupcakes together?
Step 2. Learn more about the things that interest your sister
If she sees that you are making an effort to understand her, she will probably respect you more. Show your interest in things by asking questions, giving encouragement, and acknowledging what is important to her.
- If your sister has a new favorite CD, ask for her favorite songs. Or, simpler still, ask how her day at school went.
- Encourage her when she looks sad - saying something like "I don't know what happened, but I know you can get over it!" - or when she's nervous about something - "I know you're looking forward to tomorrow's game, but I know it's going to be all right!"
Step 3. Appreciate the differences between you
Even if you grew up in the same house, it's normal for you to be completely different people, and dealing with differences in age, gender, personality, talents and interests is important for you to understand each other. Instead of hating differences, learn from them. Finding out what your sister cares about most can help you see things in a new perspective.
Make your sister appreciate your differences by respecting her. It may take a while, but she will soon learn to like you the way you are
Part 4 of 4: Giving Some Space
Step 1. Get a little distance from your sister
Sharing a room or a house often strains relationships, so it's important that you have a few hours to be alone. If necessary, spend more time doing your homework at the library or at a friend's house so you can make room for your sister.
Step 2. Don't bother her when she's with friends or flirts at home
Everyone needs privacy, even sharing a room or a house. Let your sister enjoy her time with other people. When she sees you're giving her space, she'll want to spend more time with you, believe me.
- Younger siblings often annoy the older ones and their friends. Don't be that kind of person! Only stay close to them if invited! If you don't comb them all the time, the frequency of invitations is likely to increase.
- It's also important to have your own friends. How would you feel if your sister was pissed off whenever you were with your friends at home? Treat her as you would like to be treated.
Step 3. Let her approach
Space often makes us get closer, and this is true for brothers. Let her miss you and want to spend more time with you. Even if she doesn't believe it, know she'll miss you!
- That way, when she talks to you, it's probably going to be a positive thing. Wait for her to initiate the interaction instead of always going after her.
- Enjoy your own life because you deserve it. Have your friends and interests show that you are a person with a life of your own and not just an annoying little sister.