Being grounded and losing the freedom to have fun and do whatever you want is not a fun thing to do, but resorting to naughty and rebelliousness will not help at all! The first thing you need to do is stay calm and accept the situation before making plans to get out of a timeout. Having an open and honest conversation with your parents, showing that you understand and are responsible for your mistakes, is already halfway to solving the problem. With the right attitude, you'll soon be back doing your favorite things and no hardships!
Part 1 of 3: Accepting the Situation
Step 1. Keep calm
It's easy to get out of hand when you're grounded, but losing your temper will only make matters worse. Take a deep breath and try to stay calm.
If you've already discussed it with your parents, it's even more important to take a deep breath and try to regain control of your emotions before you do anything else
Go to your room and be alone for a while to try to calm down. Take a nap, read a book, or simply focus on your breathing to try to control your emotions.
Step 2. Assume the mistakes
Admitting bad behavior is the next step in trying to get out of punishment. Be clear in assuming you failed and learned your lesson.
Even though the punishment may seem unfair, understand that, in your parents' eyes, what you've done may be unacceptable. Arguing and trying to convince them that what you've done wasn't wrong will not help you get away from the punishment
Step 3. Accept the consequences
Breaking rules, getting low grades, and lying have their consequences, no matter what your age. Everything you do has effects, good or bad, which are natural stages in the development of a human being and which serve as a guide for maturation.
You may think penance is exaggerated, but you need to understand that your elders are just playing the role of parents so that you can grow up to be an adult of integrity
Step 4. Analyze what you can do differently next time to avoid further punishment
Reflect on what caused you to be grounded and how it could have been avoided. Think of some ideas to change your behavior and dodge a new corrective measure.
- If you've been punished for getting low grades, for example, think about what you can do to get better grades.
- If the reason for the punishment was a fight at school, consider what action you can take the next time you get into a fight with someone else.
Part 2 of 3: Talking to Parents
Step 1. Apologize
A “I'm sorry” from the bottom of your heart is the first thing to do to show your parents that you are sorry and that you understand punishment. The apology is a confirmation that you are aware that you have done something wrong and that you want to gain your parent's trust back. And freedom too!
- Don't pay lip service to excuses, be honest and assume that what you did was really wrong.
- Say something like “I know what I did wasn't right. I want to learn from my mistakes and have a better behavior going forward. I hope you can forgive me.”
don't expect your parents to release you from punishment just because you asked for forgiveness. You still have a lot to reflect and learn.
Step 2. Demonstrate maturity in discussing the issue
Sit down with your parents and talk openly about what happened. Be willing to change your behavior and ask what you can do to remedy the situation and regain their trust.
“Can we talk about what happened? I know what I did was wrong and I deserved the punishment. I want to change so that none of this happens again in the future” is an example of what you can talk about
Step 3. Explain your side
Misbehavior or mistakes may be due to a bigger problem. That doesn't make what happened acceptable, but there are two sides to everything, and exposing yours might make the situation a little more understandable. It's important that your parents are aware of what's going on in your life so they can help you overcome any problem.
- If you're taking our casualties because you don't get along with the teacher or because you can't understand the discipline, for example, it's good to tell your parents so they can take action.
- If you try to get into a confrontation with someone for having been bullied, your parents also need to know to prevent the situation from getting worse.
- Start by saying "I need to talk about a problem that's happening."
Step 4. Make a deal with your parents
Talk about specific steps you can take to change the circumstances that led to your punishment. Let the conversation flow, with both sides voicing their opinions, and try to come to terms with your way out of punishment.
- The problem was the low grade you got? Think of a plan to improve your grades, whether it's studying harder or arranging for a private tutor to help you. Another idea is to set aside a moment of the day to ask your parents for questions.
- If the reason was a rude reaction to something, talk to them for alternatives to be able to react better when you feel frustrated or upset. The next time you get angry, try putting into practice what you've learned about controlling emotions.
Part 3 of 3: Using a scoring system
Step 1. Propose a scoring system to regain freedom
Ask your parents if they are willing to make a system that allows you to get out of punishment after reaching a certain amount of points. You can score points by doing housework, showing good behavior and getting good grades at school.
- Helping with household chores can be a determining factor for them to like the idea.
- Say something like “I was wondering if we can create a scoring system together so I can get out of punishment. I can help with household chores and improve my performance at school to earn points”.
Step 2. Decide together which actions will be worth points and how many you need
Ask them for a list of positive actions, such as housework, improving grades in high school, and other things. Define the amount of points for each action and how many you need to earn to get rid of punishment.
Let's say you have to collect 100 points to regain your freedom. Set, together with your parents, the value for each specific action: 10 points for washing the dishes, 5 points for each completed homework, 20 points for washing the toilet, etc
other points-scoring ideas: helping someone with their homework, doing good deeds in public (such as holding someone's door or helping a neighbor carry groceries), and taking the dog for a walk.
Step 3. Create a board to track
On one side, write down the actions and the amount of points each is worth, on the other, write down the tasks completed and the points earned.
- You can divide the notes into sections like “housework”, “school”, “animals” and other topics related to other activities.
- At the top of the board write "Goal to get out of punishment: 100 points."
Step 4. Don't forget to write down each accomplished goal
Dedicate yourself a lot to try to earn all the necessary points. Upon reaching the established amount, show your parents to finally regain your long-awaited freedom!