What's the difference between a "good" and a "bad" boy? Maybe Santa Claus can answer that question, but the rest of us aren't always so sure. Are you a "good" boy if you are obedient? Do you show respect? Are you doing well at school? Or do you need to do all that and more? Regardless of what we want to express when we speak of a "good child", this expression does not mean being a perfect child - it does, however, involve qualities such as compassion, understanding, self-discipline and gratitude. Perhaps a good way to think about it is this: good boys are those who follow the path of a happy and successful adult life - any parent would be happy with that kind of "good" child!
Method 1 of 2: Behaving Appropriately
Step 1. Accept your own responsibilities
It's easy to say that a good child is obedient and knows how to listen to parents (and other authority figures), but while this is often true, the most important thing is that the child learns to take responsibility for his own tasks. As a child who always strives to do his best, you will need to accept that you have certain obligations, and that you need to do these things to benefit others or yourself.
- The goal of being a good child is not simply to reduce the pain of their parents (although this is a very welcome initiative) - good children learn qualities that can make them "good adults", meaning happy, successful.
- For example, you should take responsibility for your homework and your own household chores, without complaining or needing constant reminders - this will help you become a more motivated, self-reliant and successful adult in both your personal life. as in the professional.
Step 2. Control emotions
All of us (adults included) get angry, frustrated, stressed or tearful from time to time; and no one is able to avoid such emotions, nor should they, since such repression would not be healthy. However, you can make an effort to better recognize and deal with your own feelings.
- Learning to manage anger is one of the most important lessons for children - at times when anger starts to take over your mind, you can control it and calm down if you take steps as simple as counting to five and breathing deeply, inhaling through. nose and exhaling through the mouth. That way, you can think more clearly about why you are angry, and how you can control it next time.
- However, uncontrolled anger is not always caused by bad behavior, as children can act like this when they are upset, sad, confused or lonely. You may experience emotions like this if you are being bullied at school, have been excluded from a group activity, or have been rejected by a friend. Talk to a trusted adult when you are upset - you can improve your relationship with your parents if you talk to them about these emotions. Also, don't feel embarrassed about going to a therapist or other professional if you need more help.
Step 3. Be honest and trustworthy
Perhaps you've heard someone say that "good boys don't tell lies", and that phrase is often true - the most important thing is to keep in mind that honesty is a key element in building relationships based on mutual trust, and that this will benefit you in childhood and adulthood.
- Healthy relationships require bonds of trust which, in turn, are based on mutual honesty. You may feel like lying to your parents to avoid punishment or to avoid hurting their feelings, but these strategies don't usually work very well, and lying will keep you from developing a more mature relationship with adults.
- No matter how upset your parents feel about the truth (you failed your exam because you didn't study, stole a chocolate from the supermarket, made fun of a vulnerable colleague, etc.), they will definitely also be proud of your decision to tell the Truth - honesty is an important sign of growth and confidence.
Step 4. Accept imperfections and learn from your mistakes
Even the best behaved children make many mistakes, as they are part of the growth process and human nature itself. Therefore, the most important thing is how we deal with our shortcomings - learning from mistakes is a sign of maturity that will certainly be valued by your parents.
- If you got a poor test score because you didn't study enough, are you ready to accept the importance of studying? Do you understand the importance of showing respect for others if you were grounded for yelling at your mother in public? A mature, caring child learns from his mistakes, and uses those lessons to be someone better going forward.
- Even the most demanding parents will accept some of their children's mistakes, particularly if they are not repeated - everyone loves to spot evidence of growth and maturation in their own children, and learning from a mistake, rather than repeating it, is always a good sign..
Step 5. Learn to solve the problems yourself
Often, children who are often seen as "bad" because of misbehavior find it difficult to deal with problems properly, as confusion and frustration easily lead to bad decisions. However, the ability to identify and solve different problems will put you on the path to self-confidence and independence.
- Remember how proud your parents were when you put together a puzzle yourself or managed to spell your own name? Even when you learned how to open the kitchen cupboard and made a huge mess around the house, chances are your parents still felt a tinge of pride, as they are aware of the importance of independence in adult life.
- For children, many of the problems arise from conflicts with other children - so please take the following conflict resolution steps into consideration, taken from this link:
- Understand - allow each person involved to express their own point of view on the problem.
- Avoid making the situation worse - don't yell, insult, or take physical action against the other child, no matter how angry you are. Stay calm and try to deal with the problem.
- Work together. Explain how you feel about the fight by saying something like "I get mad when…" or "I need to feel that…" - then listen carefully to what the other children have to say.
- Look for a solution. Think together about different solutions to the problem, and choose the one that best meets the needs of everyone involved.
Step 6. Know when to ask for help
Learning to identify and solve problems on your own is a valuable skill for children (and adults), but the ability to recognize and accept that you need help dealing with a situation is equally important.
- "Giving up" the math homework without trying to figure it out on your own isn't going to be very helpful, but neither will you gain any advantage if you simply refuse to ask for help because you insist on doing it yourself.
- No one child (or adult) is able to solve all the problems on their own - your parents want to help you when needed, and will be happy with your willingness to seek help. However, don't expect them to solve all the problems for you, as this is a sign of immaturity.
- How do you know when it's best to try to solve a problem yourself and when it's time to ask for help? This question doesn't have a ready-made answer, so we need to trust ourselves to make a decision - did you try your best to solve the problem? Can't think of any other way to handle the situation? In that case, it's likely time to ask for help.
Method 2 of 2: Showing You Care
Step 1. Treat other people the same way you would like to be treated
Many people call this phrase the "Golden Rule" as it is an important motto in life. A child who follows this rule with parents, friends, family, or with anyone else, demonstrates consideration and maturity.
- Before joining the chorus of children who are making fun of a classmate, think about how you would feel if you were in his shoes; or, before you start throwing a tantrum because your mother asked for help with folding clothes, think about how you would feel if you needed something and she refused to help.
- Good children are not only respectful to their parents or guardians, but also to everyone else, as such an attitude is another way of showing respect for one's parents. Show respect if you want to be respected.
- As difficult as it is, this rule also applies to how you treat your younger or older brother!
Step 2. Learn to identify the feelings of others
If you know how a person feels and how they are likely to react, you will have a huge advantage in determining how best to behave. Let's say your parents are worried about the monthly bills - in which case, this is not the best time to order a pair of sneakers or a new video game; or, if your brother is upset that he wasn't chosen for the football team, this is probably not the best time to make fun of his athletic abilities.
- Study people's faces to practice "interpreting" their emotional states - visit a public place, such as a shopping mall, and assess the facial expressions of patrons to try to guess how each of these strangers is feeling.
- Identifying the feelings of others is an important skill for anyone who wants to demonstrate empathy, a feeling that is at the core of the first three steps of this method (treating others as you would like to be treated, interpreting others' emotions, and showing compassion). However, empathizing not only means knowing how a person feels and being able to "put yourself in someone else's shoes," it also means valuing others and treating them with respect, even when we don't agree with their views.
Step 3. Show concern and compassion
When you see someone suffering or needing help, take responsibility for helping that person - the world needs more caring and caring individuals, so why not start in childhood?
- Growth involves expanding their "worry circle" - young children tend to think only about their own needs and desires (a cookie, a new toy, etc.), but when they grow a little, humans start to think more. in the feelings and needs of those close to them, such as friends and family. Over time, you will begin to realize that many individuals around you need help.
- Think of all the small ways you can help someone, from volunteering to cultivating changes in your own life-for example, think of the good you can do if you donate some groceries from your kitchen to an institution that works with people in need.
- You could show compassion in everyday life by offering support to a child who is being bullied, and asking if she wants to be your friend (this could be something as simple as asking, "Want to play with me?"); or you could ask your parents to buy you a sandwich. more in the cafeteria to satisfy the hunger of a homeless person. Even the simplest gestures can have a great impact on the lives of other human beings.
Step 4. Show gratitude for others' help
As you identify new ways to help others, you will also need to pay more attention to the people who help you - say how much you appreciate what they do. In addition to definitely being a “good child” quality, this behavior is also an important part of growing up, and it can turn you into a happy, responsible adult.
- You should always show gratitude to your parents, so take a moment to think about all the things they've done, writing them down if necessary. A gift or other token of appreciation will be most welcome, but an occasional “thank you” will be enough to warm adults' hearts.
- If you want to "go further," express the exact reason for the thanks: "Thank you, Mom, for always taking the time to help me with my math homework. My grades have improved because of you, and I'm so grateful for that."
- Accept punishments and don't complain. Say you're sorry and that you'll try to do better in the future - arguing about punishment won't do you any good, but maybe your parents will lighten up the punishment if they see sincere regret. Never know!
- Do your own chores without anyone having to ask - that way your parents will know that you are a responsible child and that you are willing to help around the house.
- Always show respect for your elders - they have a lot of advice to offer.
- Never let anger dominate. Strive to maintain control and remain calm when you start to feel angry, and at worst, go to your room and vent your anger inside.
- Never fight with your family out of anger - just take a few deep breaths and try to calm down.