There are several ways for a teenager to start stealing, whether it's money from a parent's wallet, school supplies or even department store shoplifting. Depending on the value of what is stolen, there are legal penalties that may apply. However, regardless of the value, stealing creates feelings of shame, embarrassment and guilt, both for the teenager and for the parents. There are steps you can take to make your teenager stop stealing and avoid serious problems for him.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Punishing the Teen for Stealing
Step 1. Explain the consequences of stealing
Maybe you found out that your child stole money from your wallet or you found stolen items in their backpack. If your child is a first-time offender and has not yet been charged with a crime, it is important that you sit down with him and explain how taking other people's things is illegal and can lead to arrest. Don't underestimate the seriousness of the situation or spoil your child by saying it's okay to steal as long as he doesn't get caught. Be clear and forceful in your words as you explain to your child the serious consequences that can change the lives of those who steal.
- Use legal terms to explain the possible jail time associated with theft (which is when you steal someone's property, such as a purse or a bicycle) and also a crime (which is when you steal with the intention of depriving someone of money, like stealing a wallet).
- The value of stolen property determines whether the crime is considered serious or not. Regardless of the seriousness of the crime, the teenager can be fined or imprisoned for a few months or years if caught in the act.
Step 2. Show the consequences of stealing
Another method is to show, rather than tell, what can happen if he is caught stealing. If he stole money or some of your possessions, some parents recommend calling the police and arranging for a mock arrest. The officer can handcuff your child and put him in the back of the police car so he can explain what a felony charge is and how it can affect a person's future.
This may seem like an extreme tactic and should only be done if the teen steals directly from you, as you are the one who will decide whether or not to press charges. However, it can scare the teenager so much that he may even consider never stealing again
Step 3. Impose a punishment that requires positive action
Instead of imposing a physical punishment or embarrassing punishment that makes him more angry and resentful, focus on creating a punishment that requires him to redeem himself for having stolen something with a positive action. This will reinforce the damage a robbery does to relationships with those around him, allowing him to learn to value honesty.
- For example, suppose you caught your child stealing money from your purse. So, you must punish him by making him pay back all the money he stole. This can take time, as he may need to get a job or do odd jobs to earn his money back. However, he will learn the consequences of his actions, gain more responsibility by getting a job, and understand why stealing is wrong.
- Another option is to make him pay the money by doing extra chores around the house or cooking dinner for the family for a month. That way he will do positive actions for other people to make up for the mistake.
Part 2 of 2: Stopping Your Child from Stealing Again
Step 1. Ask him why he feels he needs to steal
He may be motivated to steal because of other issues or problems. Identifying the cause of your teen's actions will help you prevent him from stealing again. Teens tend to steal for several reasons, including:
- Peer pressure can be a big reason your child is committing robberies. He might want a newer, more modern smartphone or a cool new sneaker, and he thinks the only way to buy these things is to steal them from other people or steal money to buy them. A big part of adolescence is in friendships, and your child may feel pressured to have some items so he can bond with other teens at school and make friends.
- The need for attention is also another possible reason why a teenager might be committing robberies. Any attention coming from other people, especially authority figures, may seem better than not getting any attention at all. He can steal because he knows he's going to get your attention and be noticed.
- Embarrassment or anxiety around certain items, such as condoms, tampons, morning-after pills, or a pregnancy test, can lead a teenager to steal these items. He may be very embarrassed about having to go to a pharmacy to buy these items or asking you for money to buy them. Therefore, he may feel that the only way out is to steal them.
- The thrill of committing a crime can also be a motivator for a teenager to steal. Teenagers often enjoy the thrill of doing something wrong and participating in risky activities. Most teenagers are interested in things that are out of their reach or that they feel are wrong. As such, stealing can be a way for them to know their limits and try to see how far they can go without getting caught.
Step 2. Provide other sources of income for your child
If a teenager is stealing because he feels he can't afford the same items his friends have, he might get a part-time job after school or do odd jobs to earn extra money. This will help you learn responsibility and manage your own money, giving you the freedom to buy the products you want rather than stealing them.
Suggest that he create a budget and learn to manage his own money to develop good habits
Step 3. Involve your child in healthy extracurricular activities
Encourage him to focus his energies on improving his skills and abilities with others in a productive way, such as joining a football team or other activity at school. This can help you connect with colleagues who are interested in things other than material possessions or fashion items.
Step 4. Spend quality time with your child
Stealing can be seen as a cry for attention from him. Don't ignore it. Instead, try to spend quality time with him often. Show that you care about him and his interests by suggesting that you do the activities he likes most or by going to a concert by his favorite band.
During these times together, you can talk about issues such as contraception and condoms if you discover that he stole out of shame to buy these items or ask someone to buy them. Let him ask specific questions and provide these items so he doesn't have to feel embarrassed about having them. Talk to him about sex if that's part of the reasons he was stealing
Step 5. Talk to a family counselor or therapist if your child continues to steal
If you catch him stealing again, it may be time to ask a family counselor or therapist for help. Some teenagers steal because of deeper issues that may require family or individual therapy. Don't let stealing become a habit for your child. This can lead to more serious consequences and a distorted moral code for him.