How to Handle Your Parents' Fights (with Pictures)

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How to Handle Your Parents' Fights (with Pictures)
How to Handle Your Parents' Fights (with Pictures)

Are your parents always fighting ugly? It's certainly not cool to witness a situation like this. However, there are some measures to protect you from conflict, besides showing them how much it affects you and dealing with the consequences of arguments.


Part 1 of 3: Caring for your safety

Deal With Your Parents Fighting Step 1

Step 1. Be impartial

The idea here is not to turn the fight around. Avoid taking sides; in fact, don't interfere at all. It is not your duty to mediate the conflict.

If any of them try to involve you in the discussion, be honest and say you don't want to take sides. That is your right

Deal With Your Parents Fighting Step 2

Step 2. Have your place of peace

It is important to have a cozy place in the house when you are stressed about the situation. Plus, when you retire, you won't have to see and hear the whole fight anymore. Here are some options:

  • Go get some fresh air in the backyard.
  • If you have privacy and some distraction, stay in your room.
Deal With Your Parents Fighting Step 3

Step 3. Visit someone you trust

If there's no safe space in your house, it's best to leave. Go talk to a nearby neighbor or, if the person doesn't live far away, find another loved one.

Deal With Your Parents Fighting Step 4

Step 4. Watch your favorite movie or listen to music

If you can't leave the house, at least occupy your mind so that you don't focus on the discussion. The ideal would be something with sound; if you have headphones, even better. Other alternatives would be:

  • Do your homework. Use this time to take care of yourself and your responsibilities.
  • If the noise is bearable, read a book. It's easier with a headphone.
  • Play video games. It's a great option to distract your head.
Deal With Your Parents Fighting Step 5

Step 5. Don't blame yourself

Even if the subject of the fight involves you, don't hold yourself responsible for the disagreement. You're not forcing anyone to argue, and you don't even have that power; they are doing it willingly and by patterns learned in the past.

Deal With Your Parents Fighting Step 6

Step 6. Cultivate healthy relationships

Another great way to protect yourself from so much negativity is to have your own support network. Research indicates that creating a satisfying social circle is even good for health. Also, the fact that your parents are a troubled couple doesn't stop you from having a different reality. You may need to work on this aspect a lot, but as long as you develop your communication and stay open, you can break the cycle of toxic connections.

Deal With Your Parents Fighting Step 7

Step 7. Know how to deal with divorced parents

If your parents are separated or are about to do so, there are some ways to alleviate the impact on you:

  • Ask them to consider it. The end of marriage can completely shake your life. Whether you're deciding who you're going to live with, when you'll see each of them, where you're going to study, or any other subject, clearly state that you would like to be consulted.
  • Don't be so afraid of divorce. The biggest problem is living in the crossfire, whether your parents are together or not. Focus on dealing with the conflict.

Part 2 of 3: Talking to your parents

Deal With Your Parents Fighting Step 8

Step 1. Show your parents that fights hurt you

They may not even realize the impact discussions have on you. Talk about it, but wait for an opportune moment; talking in the confusion will only generate guilt and more accusations.

Try to stay calm to express yourself. Do not want to influence them, scold them or take advantage of the situation: the objective here is simply to make them understand what you are feeling, so that they change their attitude

Deal With Your Parents Fighting Step 9

Step 2. Provide data on the effect of such clashes

Much research shows that conflicting divorces hinder children's emotional development. In addition, psychologists have been talking for years about the importance of secure attachment between parents and children. More recent studies show that even the degree of stability among those responsible is felt by the little ones. Therefore, these fights can cause anxiety, depression and behavioral problems in the future.

Deal With Your Parents Fighting Step 10

Step 3. Teach them the right way to argue

Certain misunderstandings are normal and end up being useful. However, there are situations that only serve to hurt those involved, compromise the relationship and generate insecurity. Know how to differentiate:

  • Productive discussion always ends with an agreement. For example, if the issue is dinnertime, they could work out a routine that suits both of them.
  • She also maintains a friendly tone, even if opinions differ. Disagreeing with someone does not mean showing disgust or disgust. An example of proper communication would be: “I'm mad that you forgot to take out the trash, but in general, I can always count on your help with household chores”.
  • Toxic discussion, on the other hand, is full of personal insults, with name-calling and belittling the other's ability to be a good partner and parent.
  • There is also evasive behavior and lack of recognition of the other. Simply refusing to talk is just as bad as yelling because it doesn't solve the problem and demonstrates an inability to communicate.
Deal With Your Parents Fighting Step 11

Step 4. Suggest that they discuss it alone

It's a very reasonable request that can spare you emotional harm. Witnessing the scene makes the atmosphere super tense and reaffirms the idea that toxic discussions are valid when solving problems.

Tell your parents that it would be easier to handle the situation if they left to discuss it in private

Deal With Your Parents Fighting Step 12

Step 5. Give the idea of ​​couple or family therapy

Psychotherapy is very helpful for parents who do not know how to talk in a healthy way. Many issues can be resolved, such as:

  • Difficulties in communication and empathy;
  • Practical matters such as the financial budget;
  • Conflicts about how to raise children.

Part 3 of 3: Dealing with the consequences

Deal With Your Parents Fighting Step 13

Step 1. Understand that fighting is sometimes normal

Having different opinions is actually quite healthy for the relationship; repressing them can be more harmful than simply expressing them. The problem arises when disagreements happen all the time, and aggressively. As long as the arguments are punctual and your parents make up later, there's nothing to worry about.

Deal With Your Parents Fighting Step 14

Step 2. Ask a friend or older sibling for help

Having a support network is essential at these times, as it is not always that your parents will be emotionally able to welcome you. If you have an older, trusted loved one, call them in to talk and vent about the fights. Expose your fears, such as a possible divorce or threats of physical harm. The person may not be able to resolve the matter, but they can listen and comfort him, which is already a great help.

Deal With Your Parents Fighting Step 15

Step 3. Talk to your guidance counselor

Educators are trained to deal with students' personal problems, including conflicts at home. If your school has a professional in the field, they will usually be available. Go to him and tell him the situation in whatever way you feel comfortable. In case of doubt, ask one of your teachers for information.

Deal With Your Parents Fighting Step 16

Step 4. Don't be too hasty

It's normal to be concerned about the relationship of the parents when you witness so many fights. However, know that not everything ends in divorce. Often discussions happen for trivial reasons, such as a bad day or some other problem. Everyone loses their minds from time to time, but that doesn't mean the end has to be tragic. If this is causing you distress, talk to your guardians to feel more secure.

Disagreements can also result from differing opinions about house cleaning, expenses and other day-to-day details. Even though these discussions are heated, they tend to happen in all families and end up being a way to let off steam

Deal With Your Parents Fighting Step 17

Step 5. Let out what you are feeling

You have a right to be irritated by so many fights. As a child, it is normal for you to expect a welcoming and protective attitude from your parents, and for you to feel helpless in the midst of conflict. However, there are a few activities to vent all this frustration:

  • Practice a sport. Anger can be a great fuel for practices like football or basketball. Use all this energy to score beautiful goals and score several points. Just be careful not to act violently towards other players.
  • Express your dissatisfaction. It can be for anyone: parents, siblings, friends or the guidance counselor. Studies indicate that taking irritation out of physical objects doesn't help, but opening up to someone helps process feelings more effectively.


  • Don't take sides. This will only bring more tension and conflict between you and your parents.
  • Collect yourself somewhere safe and try to distract yourself. Listening to music or reading a good book are excellent options.
  • Know that none of this is your fault. Adults communicate inappropriately at times, but that's their problem and nothing to do with you.
  • Chat with your friends. Talk about random and fun things (like memes, for example) to occupy your mind. In addition, you will also be able to share what is happening in your house.
  • Prefer activities with sound and put on headphones so you don't have to hear the fight.
  • If you're leaving the house, let them know where you're going so your parents aren't worried.
  • If the situation is unbearable, see if you can spend time with a trusted relative. This way, you will feel more secure and welcomed.


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