Sometimes our parents can be irritating and stressful in the home. Whether you're dealing with your parents, your in-laws, or the parents of your students, it's important to find ways to cope with encounters with them. It's not easy to deal with annoying parents, and there's no single way to get them to stop annoying you, but there are some techniques that can help you stay calm.
Method 1 of 5: Dealing With Parents Who Don't Like Their Friends
Step 1. Talk to them
If your parents don't like your friends, chances are you've already tried talking to them. Still, it's important to keep an open line of dialogue to discuss some issues.
- Don't use sarcasm. How you talk to your parents will influence their response. Avoid sarcasm and witty remarks to keep the conversation level.
- Keep your cool as much as possible. Doing so will allow you to have longer and deeper conversations, demonstrating maturity. Trust me, this will help you a lot to gain more independence.
- Let your parents finish what they have to say without interrupting them. When it's your turn to speak, ask them to show you the same respect.
Step 2. Let them get to know each other
If you've tried to talk to your parents and they don't approve of your friendship with a specific person or group, try to get everyone to know each other. They may have an unrealistic idea of the kind of person their friend is; letting them talk can change their minds.
- Ask if you can invite your friend to dinner with you. Make it clear that you are not trying to disrespect them, but that you believe that getting to know their friend can alleviate their fears or concerns.
- Ask your friend to behave well. It's a good idea to ask him to be polite, ask how his parents are doing, praise the house, etc.
- Let your parents understand why such a friendship is important to you. If your friend is creative or has a specific talent, quote him over dinner and ask him to tell you more about some projects for them.
- Try having a "parents meeting". That way, your parents can converse among adults, gaining a better understanding of who the friend in question is and what their upbringing is.
Step 3. Try bringing a third person
If you were unlucky in talking to your parents about your friendships, it might be a good idea to ask for help. A not-so-close relative can serve as a moderator for the conversation, making your parents more open to dialogue.
Ask a relative who is not part of your immediate family to help you talk to your parents. If you can't think of anyone suitable for such a role, try asking a social worker at your school for help
Step 4. Don't betray your parents' trust
If he doesn't like a friend and forbid him to see him, don't ignore their orders. Eventually, they'll find out what you've done, and they'll likely revoke the liberties they gave you.
- If they forbid you from seeing a friend, try to talk about what worries them. You've probably had some conversations about the subject before, but ask them to explain exactly why they're worried and try to defuse the situation.
- As unfair as their order is, not obeying it can further weaken your relationship with them. If you have a reasonably good relationship, it might not be worth risking. Be patient and keep trying!
Method 2 of 5: Dealing with Parents Who Don't Like a Relationship
Step 1. Keep calm
As difficult as it is to maintain a good temper when your parents say they don't approve of your relationship, it's important not to lose your temper. Getting nervous will only make the situation worse for everyone.
Take a deep breath and think carefully before speaking to keep calm and not end up saying anything you don't want to. Trust me, you will regret saying inappropriate things in the heat of the moment
Step 2. Keep an open dialogue
If your parents don't approve of the person you're dating, you need to talk! Listen openly to what they have to say and try to respond to their specific concerns with honest and respectful responses.
- Try to be an active listener. Don't plan everything you're going to say, but adapt to the conversation! If they are saying something about your partner, listen and acknowledge everything that is said.
- Let them speak their minds without interrupting. When it's your turn to speak, ask them to show you the same respect.
- Respond to their concerns quietly and respectfully. It's important that they do the same.
Step 3. Get everyone to know each other
It's possible that your parents don't like your partner because they don't know her as well as you do. Ask if you can invite her to dinner at home so everyone can get to know each other better.
- Ask your partner to behave well and be as polite as possible. Talk to your parents and ask them to do the same. It is important that there is no exchange of barbs during dinner.
- Create a conversation that allows your parents to see what you find interesting about the other person. Ask her to talk to them about the things that interest her and try to find similar tastes.
Step 4. Don't date secretly
If you go into your parents' wishes, they'll find out sooner or later. Keeping relationships secret will likely damage your relationship with your parents a lot.
- Keeping the relationship a secret is like setting a time bomb in the house.
- Also, keeping everything a secret is not fair to the other person, as it demonstrates that you are ashamed of the relationship and not willing to take it on.
Step 5. Try to reach a happy medium
If your parents still don't approve of the other person, it's important that you remain neutral. By taking their side, you damage the relationship; by taking your partner's side, you damage your relationship with your parents. The best way to deal with such a situation is to find a happy medium that everyone can enjoy.
Ask about your parents' specific concerns and try to find a way to resolve them. The idea is to continue the relationship and regain your parents' trust
Method 3 of 5: Dealing With Invasive Parents
Step 1. Demonstrate how invasive they are
Many parents snoop into their children's lives because they fear they will make bad decisions they will regret. In reality, such behavior only makes the children try to withdraw further. If you have very invasive parents, you need to talk to them and make it clear how harmful such behavior is.
Talk to them and explain that children often withdraw from their parents because of such behavior. Over time, this can seriously damage your relationship
Step 2. Allay your parents' fears
If they are invading your privacy, a sign that they are concerned about your safety and well-being. Your best chance is to reinforce that your parents don't need to worry.
- If you have a nosy father, ask him what his fears are.
- Ask if your behavior suggests that you would make mistakes in the future. Make it clear that you want a little more confidence from your parents.
Step 3. Offer a happy medium
Talk to your parents about your privacy and try to find a happy medium: if they're willing to respect your privacy, offer to talk more about what's going on in your life. Children who have more freedom end up feeling more comfortable talking to their parents about more personal things.
- Ask them if they would be more or less willing to share things with you if you violated their privacy.
- Try to keep your parents abreast of what's going on in your life. There's a good chance that as you talk to them more, the intrusions will decrease.
Step 4. Keep an open dialogue
The best way to solve the problem is to ask your parents to respect your privacy and allow them to participate in your life. Talk daily and make them feel included.
- Find little things to discuss everyday. Talk about school, work, hobbies, etc.
- Pick a time to talk when you're not distracted by other things. Car trips and after-dinner hours are excellent options.
- Be respectful and maintain eye contact. Whenever possible, avoid sarcasm when talking to your parents.
Method 4 of 5: Dealing With Intrusive Parents
Step 1. Be patient with unsolicited advice
Whether you're dealing with your own parents, the parents of your spouse, or the parents of one of your students, you will eventually get unwanted advice. When it happens, hide your frustration and don't be nervous.
- If you're getting unwanted advice from your in-laws, talk to your partner. She better deal with the situation.
- Remember that such advice is ultimately a show of concern.
Step 2. Talk to the person
If you are getting advice from your parents or a student's parents, make it clear that you are frustrated with the situation because you know how to handle it. Obviously, speak calmly and politely.
- Explain that you understand good intentions but that receiving unsolicited advice often makes you feel unappreciated.
- Only bring up the subject when you are calm and have time to talk.
Step 3. Ask for trust and respect
After broaching the subject of unsolicited advice, ask them to stop.
Ask the person to trust you and your decision making. Make it clear that you share her concerns and that you have the same goals, but that you need the freedom to do things your way
Method 5 of 5: Dealing With Pushy Parents
Step 1. Listen to their fears
Anxiety and fear can make people think irrationally, and the best way to deal with pushy, nosy parents is to listen to what they have to say.
- Make them feel validated. Listen to their concerns and let them fully explain before responding.
- By letting them get it all out, you increase your chances of being heard and reaching a happy medium.
Step 2. Reassure your parents
After listening to their concerns, you need to deal with these issues and reassure them. Acknowledge their fears and offer solutions to alleviate their concerns.
Offer some alternatives. Some parents intrude too much in their children's lives because they feel insecure about their role as creators. Suggest other ways to get involved, such as showing interest in your hobbies or spending more time with you on weekends
Step 3. Discuss the unwanted behavior
It can be very difficult to deal with demanding and nosy parents, but it's important to remember that they act in such a way because they care about you. For them, such behavior is a way of making clear how much they love him.
- Let them know that you understand that they only want the best for you.
- Point out the unwanted behavior in a polite way. Even the best and most responsible parents have their moments of frustration. Many parents become nosy in the heat of the moment, not realizing what they are doing.
- Try saying something like "I know you're angry, I really understand. Can we find a way to deal with this together in a respectful way?"
Step 4. Try setting some limits
Many children with nosy parents feel they can't make decisions and can't solve problems the way they want to. If you're having problems with your parents, set some boundaries so everyone is happy.
- Ask your parents to let you make your own decisions. In the end, it's a matter of trust. Remind them that at one time or another you will have to make decisions on your own and that it doesn't make sense for them to "protect" you all the time.
- Remind your parents that decision making is a lifelong skill that needs to be developed. Try saying something like "If you want me to make good decisions in the future, don't you think you should start teaching me to make my own decisions as soon as possible? I need the freedom to be able to learn."