How to Improve Your Mother-Daughter Relationship: 15 Steps

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How to Improve Your Mother-Daughter Relationship: 15 Steps
How to Improve Your Mother-Daughter Relationship: 15 Steps

Assume: you can't always get close to your daughter. She is always busy with her computer, phone, friends, or school work. When you try to talk, she doesn't listen or just leaves you talking to yourself. She might find you inconvenient. And you, in turn, may feel helpless.

You may also be too busy with work, family, money, and many other things. Do any of these situations sound familiar? If so, you need to improve your mother-daughter relationship and strengthen the bond.

It may sound complex, but after a while you'll realize it's not as difficult as you thought. After all, she is your daughter. If you still don't know how to have fun with her and find common interests, don't worry. Simply read this article to find all the help you need.


Improve Your Mother Daughter Relationship Step 1

Step 1. Make time to be with her

Try to find time in your routine to do things with your daughter. Choose a day of the week or time when both are free, such as Sunday and Tuesday nights. It is good that it is always on the same day and time so that they remember the special time of being together and being without commitments. Summer is a great time to enjoy, as your daughter will likely be on vacation from school. If you're still working the summer, try to make time over the weekend to spend time with her. Take time off from work if you can. Try to spend at least an hour or two a day together. Choose a time when she is free too. Ask her, "Do you want to do something at ________ in the evening?" Or ask when she will be free and say you'll find a way to make time. However, on weekdays, your daughter will probably be quite busy with school work. Respect this and see another time to be together.

Improve Your Mother Daughter Relationship Step 2

Step 2. Get to know your daughter's tastes

Knowing what kinds of activities your daughter enjoys will help a lot when you're together, because you'll already know what to do and where to go. Watch your daughter sometimes, but not very often, to see what she is doing. She may be at the computer, watching television, drawing, reading, or playing outside. Take a closer look at what she's doing to get more leads on what she likes. If she is reading, ask which is the book. If you're watching television, ask which is the program, and if it's on the computer or out there, ask than Is playing. You'll get a better sense of her tastes, and when you ask, your daughter will be happy to feel that you care about the things she does. Her interests may be quite different from yours, but don't try to change them.

Try to learn more about your daughter's interests and do things related to these activities. If she likes to read, for example, read together at home or spend an afternoon at the library. If she likes football, play a game or two in the backyard or park. If your daughter likes to paint or draw, take her to an art museum

Improve Your Mother Daughter Relationship Step 3

Step 3. Go shopping together

You will have the opportunity to chat and find out more about your daughter's interests while shopping for new things. Take it with you to the grocery store to help pick out a tasty dinner or snacks. Let her put some items she likes in her cart and give her feedback on drinks. If she loves to read, go to a nearby bookstore and look for some books together. Or go to a mall. Look for clothes and shoes. You can also ask her to help you choose your clothes. Your daughter will love being your "fashion consultant", especially if she is interested in the subject. You can also go to a toy store if it's still small.

Let her have her own style. When shopping for clothes, shoes, books or anything else, especially if she is a teenager, let her choose what she likes. Your daughter is simply expressing herself and being herself because she is authentic. Of course you can ask "Did you like this one?", but don't force her to buy and wear anything she doesn't really like. Go shopping at a store your daughter likes, so she's more likely to find something she likes

Improve Your Mother Daughter Relationship Step 4

Step 4. Go for a walk

If you don't want to shop, there are still plenty of options. Water parks, amusement parks, beach, restaurants and museums are good options. Now that you know more about your daughter's interests, you should begin to wonder where she likes to go. As stated before, choose a place that she would be interested in. Take your soccer fan to a match for her team. Another important factor is the weather. See the weather forecast details on the internet, on television or in the newspaper. Leave outdoor activities like theme parks and pool clubs for sunny days. If it's winter, go to a cafe for hot chocolate. You can always go out in the backyard and play with your daughter, whatever the weather. And don't worry if it's raining. Go to a movie theater, restaurant, indoor pool club, library, museum or any other indoor location.

Improve Your Mother Daughter Relationship Step 5

Step 5. Watch a good old movie at home

This is a great activity if it's raining. Watching movies together can also bring you closer. Look at your options and choose one that you both want to watch. Select an appropriate movie for her age! Family comedy movies are good for all ages and will always make you laugh. There are other options too. Some movies you and your daughter might like are The Girl in Pink Shocking and My First Love. If you don't have good movies at home, go to a movie and see one. Another good choice is watching television. You can look for a show you both like and set aside time to watch it. It will likely be at the same time each day, which will be good for your own organization. If neither of you are home at this time, record the program.

Improve Your Mother Daughter Relationship Step 6

Step 6. Help her with her schoolwork

As a mother, it is important that you support your daughter's education. Always try to help her with her homework if she asks for it. Don't give the answer, help her. For example, if she is having difficulty with a math question, don't say the answer right away. Say: "To find the result, you need ________." while she still tries to do. Follow the steps with her, for example: "Then you multiply. What's 9 times 13?", so she'll know what to do next time. Also try to help her if you feel your daughter is in need, even if she doesn't ask for it. If she's been bent over her duty for a long time, tell her that if she needs some help, she can always ask for it. Do the same if she gets a low grade on an exam.

  • Make learning fun. Transform studying for a spelling or vocabulary test into a game from the Jeopardy program. Or tell your daughter to be the teacher and teach the subject.
  • Study with her. There may be an important test coming up soon, so it's your job to help her study. She will probably tell you what to do, for example: “Say the word and I will give the definition”.
Improve Your Mother Daughter Relationship Step 7

Step 7. Play

Another way to interact with your daughter is a cool game. Have a regular game night or just ask her if she would like to play something. Some good family games you might want to try are Monopoly, Game of Life, Crossword, Taboo and Snake Game, but you can use any other game. Card games are also fun. Play “Doubt”, War, “Go Fishing” or UNO if you have a deck available.

Improve Your Mother Daughter Relationship Step 8

Step 8. Cook something together

Another way the two of you can strengthen the bond is to cook or bake something. It's also a good way to start teaching her how to cook if she's older. Pick up some cookbooks and flip through them with your daughter to see what to do. You can make cookies, a cake, cupcakes, brownies or other dessert. You can also make homemade breads or a portion of bagels, pies, crisps, smoothies, soups, stews and even the ice cream itself!

Remember you are cooking together. Let your daughter do a few things, such as cracking eggs, helping to beat the dough, add liquids, and decorate. Don't expect things to be perfect – this is how children and teens learn. However, don't let her use the stove until you're sure she's mature and responsible enough to handle the fire on her own (in the same way, don't be overprotective forever - kids should be able to use the stove properly by now 11 or 12 years)

Improve Your Mother Daughter Relationship Step 9

Step 9. Show her you love her

Of course, your daughter already knows you love her, but do you really show it? Even though spending time playing a game or watching TV keeps you guys together, is it really a special moment? You may not know how to do this very well, but it's the little things that matter. Go out for a nice walk together, talk and enjoy nature. When your daughter is having a bad day, cheer her up with a hug or a little gift, such as a book or a stuffed animal. Give encouragement messages often, such as “You can do this.”, “I believe in you.” or "You are a very talented soccer player/swimmer/artist!" Don't forget to praise her efforts above all else, because it's important that she learn that it's in her attempts and insistence, including learning to deal with failures, that she will be successful in life. With your support, she will follow through with a positive attitude. Have fun with her.

Improve Your Mother Daughter Relationship Step 10

Step 10. Talk to your daughter

It's important for her to know that she can always count on you if she needs something. When talking to your daughter, look her in the eye and make her reciprocate. Tell her, "I need you to listen to me," but in a calm, friendly tone. Try to be brief and kind or she'll get bored, inattentive, and think she's in trouble or getting lectured. Be objective in the first sentence and keep the conversation simple, using short, non-confusing words. You should also talk casually. When the two of you talk, it doesn't necessarily have to be a serious conversation. Talk about school, for example: “What's going on at school? How was today?". But you must go beyond that. Talk about the future, sports or hobbies.

Improve Your Mother Daughter Relationship Step 11

Step 11. Know how to listen

You and your daughter need to learn to listen to each other. If you don't, she'll think it doesn't matter if you pay attention to people – also be aware that kids know when their parents aren't really listening to what they're saying, and it doesn't feel good because they feel diminished. To listen, stop what you are doing to look at your daughter. Make eye contact while listening. To show that you're paying attention, ask the questions that pop into your mind. Also, paraphrase. To paraphrase is to reaffirm something in your own words. Say, for example, "So you're saying _______?" or "Do you mean that ________?" so you can clarify what your daughter just said.

Hear what she wants to do. For example, if your daughter wants to go to the movies, don't say "no" right away. See what you can do; check out the movies that are on or ask her what movie she wants to see. You may not want to do this, but every now and then you need to let your daughter walk on her own two feet

Improve Your Mother Daughter Relationship Step 12

Step 12. Be present in your daughter's life

You always need to be there by her side, whether it's going to an important event, giving advice or words of encouragement. If there's a sporting, musical, school, or other important event she wants you to go to, really see if you can go. If not, see why. Try to cancel whatever it is on the same day, but if some appointments are unpostponable, be sure to explain yourself to your daughter. But it's okay if, in fact, that's the case. There are many other ways to be present in her life.

  • Offer help. If you see your daughter having difficulty doing something, such as school, sports, or instruments, help her. Listen to her play her flute, talk to the teacher and help with school lessons. Play football with her.
  • Be motivating. It can be difficult for her to do something, so you should encourage her with words and actions of encouragement. Say "Good job!" when she's really done well and you can even give her a little congratulation gift, like a book.
  • Give praise. Say, for example, "This shirt is beautiful." or "I like what you did in your room."
Improve Your Mother Daughter Relationship Step 13

Step 13. Celebrate your daughter's talents

This is another form of motivation, and it will make your daughter very happy to recognize her talents. Ask her if she'd like to audition for a school play, an instrumental music ensemble, or an in-school or out-of-school softball team (but don't push), and she might be interested in the idea. Also see if you can put it in a course or group. Another attitude to take is to participate in the activity she is doing outside the home. Play a football match or another game, ask her to put on a show at home or teach you some dance steps. It will make her feel great, you will learn something new and your relationship will grow closer.

Improve Your Mother Daughter Relationship Step 14

Step 14. Be kind to her

Needless to say, your kindness has a great effect on your relationship. Don't yell at her right away when things aren't right. Instead, stay calm and solicitous when explaining to her that you did something you didn't like or don't want to repeat. Try saying, "I wish you would do this." or “Please do this.”, not “Do this.” or "Do it now". She is more likely to obey if you address her that way. Also, give real reasons, don't say "Because I'm telling you to." Your daughter will become more judgmental if she realizes that she might be harmed by danger, social pressure, or health damage resulting from certain choices she makes. Kiss and hug her before going to bed, or in the morning before she leaves the house. Always make things work out well.

Respect her. She is an individual, and you need to remember that. There may be some things about your daughter that you don't agree with or that you don't really understand, but still be respectful; she has a right to have her own opinion

Improve Your Mother Daughter Relationship Step 15

Step 15. Trust your daughter

This can be difficult to do, but you need to put your trust in her. The reason you might not trust your daughter is that she often lies. And that could be why you do the same. She'll think it's okay to lie if you lie too, so it's time to start being a good role model for her (and everyone else). Be honest; comply and don't break your promises. However, if you discover anything, be sure to talk to her. Tell her the reason for the conversation, she'll wonder what it is. And when you see her with responsible attitudes, like doing her homework, rehearsing with the band, or getting a good grade on an exam, it can boost your confidence in her.

Share your feelings. Tell your daughter that she can always count on you when she needs it and that she must be honest. You must share your feelings with her too. Talk to her about how you feel about something, and sometimes you might even ask for advice


  • Don't be afraid to tell her "I love you".
  • Remember, your daughter owns her own nose. She has the right to do and say what she wants, so don't force anything. When you go shopping with her, let her sort things out. If you liked the purple shirt for her but she liked the orange one, take the orange shirt.
  • Be positive while shopping. Your daughter takes your opinion into account, so be positive. Say, “Blue looks great on you, how about we take the blue piece?” instead of “Red doesn't look good on you.” You should be honest, but nice.
  • Set a limit. You may tend to spend more than you should on your daughter, but everyone needs a limit. However, it's easy to find good prices; just look for promotions.
  • Be exemplary. Your daughter will want to be like her mother, so it's important that you set a good example. Be friendly if you want her to be too, and if you want to encourage her to read more, you should also be in the habit.
  • Craft together.You can make tissue paper flowers, a scrapbook, anything! Also, if your daughter already knows how to do something, ask her to be the "teacher" and teach you.
  • Even the smallest moments count. You don't need to plan anything big. Simply laughing together is a moment the two of you will remember.
  • Take it on "Take Your Kids to Work Day". This is a great day for your daughter to see what her work routine is like and you can get even closer.


  • Don't be greedy. As stated before, you should be a smart shopper, but don't be too tight-lipped either. Try to find a balance between spending too much and too little.
  • Let her have some time to herself. Don't get attached to your daughter all the time. Give herself space and time. It's okay to see if she's okay from time to time, but your daughter may be annoyed if you snoop too often.
  • Don't let your daughter use the stove without your supervision. Children ages 9-15 need adult supervision and you will need to do the 4-8 year olds' part. If she asks why she needs someone in the kitchen, explain that she can get burned and that it hurts a lot. If she is a very young child and says she wants to do it alone, say, "No, you could get hurt, my love." Explaining in this way makes it easy for young children to understand.
  • Don't give everything your daughter wants. This can be difficult, but she needs to learn that you can't have it all when you want it. Some things will need to be achieved by her. Encourage her to save up to buy something from time to time. She will learn responsibility.

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