Without your parents' trust, you're likely to run the risk of staying home every Saturday night while your friends are having fun. Maybe you've been dishonest with your parents in the past, or maybe they're just very conservative. Whatever the case, gaining their trust will help them see more maturity in you. To do this, communicate with them honestly, follow the rules and accept their responsibilities.
Method 1 of 3: Communicating with Your Parents
Step 1. Be honest
Being dishonest will only make them trust you less. If you did something wrong, try to fix the error as soon as possible. This will help them see that if they trust you, they will know immediately when you do something wrong or need help. If you make a mistake, tell them what you're going to do to fix things. Don't hide anything. Instead, always be open to earning their trust.
- For example, if you recently received a speeding ticket, tell your parents right away. Don't risk them finding out in other ways.
- Say “I'm sorry about the fine I got. I didn't realize I was going too fast. If they want to punish me, I will understand”.
- Then say “In the future, I'll be more careful with my speed and I'll even try to drive below the limit”.
- Be honest, even when you haven't done something wrong. Talking about your thoughts and feelings can help establish a trusting relationship with your parents.
Step 2. Listen to what your parents have to say
Remember that they also have valid opinions, just like you. Explain to your parents that you want to hear their advice in certain situations. Consider what they say and remember that everyone should be heard in a conversation.
- For example, even when listening to a sermon from your parents, don't be rambling or fiddling with your cell phone. Listen to what they have to say and value their advice.
- Practice active listening by confirming what they are saying. This will help show them you're listening.
- At the end of the conversation, thank them for their help and advice.
Step 3. Talk about what's going on in your life
Encourage your family to have dinner together daily. Keep them up to date on what's going on in your life. It will suck if a teacher or classmate brings them some information that you haven't told them before, especially if it's not a good thing.
You might say something like “I did well on my calculus test today, but I thought my grade would be better. I would have liked a 10 instead of an 8.5”
Step 4. Say you want to have their trust
If you've recently done something to break your parents' trust, talk to them. Say that you feel ashamed of your actions and that you want to make things right. Ask if there is anything you can do to fix the situation. Be humble, work with them to find a solution, and accept established rules.
Say “Dad, I'm sorry I got home after hours. There's no reason why I was late, considering you've given me more time. I know I'm grounded, but when I can leave again, I'll always arrive at the stipulated time. I want you to be able to trust what I say."
Method 2 of 3: Following Their Rules
Step 1. Go beyond expectations
It doesn't matter if you've broken your parents' trust or not. Instead of doing the minimum to comply with their rules, go above and beyond what is expected. Is your home time at 10 pm? Get home 9:45 pm. Should you wash the dinner dishes today? Clean the sink and kitchen floor as well. Show your parents that you have respect for them and the rules they impose.
- If you do your best now, they will likely take it easy on you in the future.
- Be consistent when you do more than they asked, otherwise they might think you're just doing all of this to get what you want.
Step 2. Answer calls and reply to their messages
When your parents call or send a message, answer immediately. Don't ignore them unless you're in class or at work. Your parents should feel that you will always be available when they need to get in touch.
- Answer calls, especially if they are the ones who pay your cell phone bill.
- It could be an emergency, so always answer them when they call you.
- The faster you answer or answer, the less they will feel the need to call. Calling or sending a message to them spontaneously has the same effect.
Step 3. Do what they ask
Sometimes your parents may ask you to do some boring things like cooking or cleaning the house. Always do what is asked willingly and with agility. They probably do a lot for you, so the least you can do is return their actions with a smile.
If your parents ask you to do something you don't want or can't do, explain yourself. Be explicit and propose an alternative, but accept their decision if they don't agree with you
Step 4. Be where you say you are
If you told your mom you were going to the mall, don't go to your boyfriend's house. Always speak the truth. You never know - they might pop up at the mall and you'll be caught in a lie. Always be honest and tell the truth about your location.
If you go somewhere else, always tell them, even if it doesn't seem important
Step 5. Be careful on social media
Trust affects many areas of life, including social media. Only post what will not cause shame in your family. If you think your mom wouldn't want to see sexy pictures of you, don't post any pictures of you wearing a bikini.
If your dad doesn't want you to chat with strangers, set up your accounts to only receive messages from friends. Use your social networks wisely
Step 6. Do your household chores and homework without your parents having to ask
If you have homework to do, do it before your parents get home and remember that you have to. If it's your night to start making dinner, get started before they have to call you. The more confident you are with the simple things of everyday life, the more your parents will trust you with the more complex matters.
Start developing your own reminder system. Put alerts on your phone, make a calendar or use notes for visual reminders, for example. Find a system that works for you
Method 3 of 3: Being Responsible
Step 1. Apologize when you're wrong
When you break a rule, apologize to your parents right away. Recognizing your flaws is a sign of maturity and your parents will realize it. Avoid making excuses and be honest. Don't make them come to you, expecting a retraction - go to them and apologize.
- Say “Mom, sorry for breaking the lamp. I know it can't be fixed, but I can save you money so you can buy a new one.”
- Taking responsibility for your actions is a great way to show that you have maturity.
Step 2. Make up for your mistakes
When you do something wrong, do your best to fix the situation. This will show your parents that you are a person committed to doing what is right. Show your commitment to doing the right thing and they'll realize you're a trustworthy person.
For example, if you forgot to tidy up your room and your parents got mad, in addition to tidying it, do some cleaning too. Exceed expectations. Improve your behavior without them having to ask you to
Step 3. Do more tasks
To gain more confidence, ask your parents to give you more chores and household responsibilities. Every new year must come with new expectations. Offer to take care of your younger siblings so your parents can go out to dinner. Wash your mom or dad's car on Saturday so they can get more rest. Get a part-time job so you don't have to ask them for money every time.
Step 4. Set higher standards for yourself
If your parents see that you are ethical and generally do the right things, they will trust you more. Strive to show that you are always successful in whatever you set out to do. Pay attention in class to get better grades. Always arrive at work on time and do your best with tasks.
Always maintain a good relationship with others so that your parents see that you are mature and able to resolve conflicts properly
Step 5. Get together with positive people
One of the ways to ensure that your parents trust you is to choose your friendships well. If you hang out with people who are negative, mean, and toxic, or who are always in trouble, your parents will have reason to be concerned about the path you've been down. Show that you know how to evaluate your friendships and get close to good people.