Every woman is different and has her own life story. Still, many of them have something in common: in order to mature (ie, stop being a girl and become a woman), they had to go through drastic physical, emotional and intellectual changes. Some of these changes are under control, while others are biological processes that occur at their own pace. Becoming a woman is not instantaneous - and it can take years - but this period brings important experiences that end up influencing each person's future.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Growing up emotionally
Step 1. Understand that being a woman is a state of mind
It's not just about growing up physically, it's about how you feel about yourself. It may take you a long time to feel like a real woman, but there are a few ways to begin this transition.
Step 2. Read books written by women that address this rite of passage
The world changes all the time, and there is always something different to learn. Do a search in local bookstores looking for works that guide your passage through this phase. Pay more attention to the memoirs and autobiographies of women you admire and respect to understand what challenges they faced-and so learn to face your own.
Step 3. Learn to behave and acquire social skills
If you act like an adult, people will treat you fairly and your self-esteem will increase. Remember some important steps:
- Don't procrastinate: take responsibility for your appointments and finish your tasks on time.
- Have good manners: be kind and polite to enter adulthood responsibly.
- Defend yourself: it's important to be polite, but you can't let anyone abuse your kindness. Learn to express your opinions with confidence, even if others aren't so kind.
Step 4. Be confident
While women tend to underestimate their own abilities, men tend to overestimate theirs. This makes a huge difference in everyone's self-confidence. Remember this when you become an adult: You may be nervous about a project, but you are as likely to be the most competent person in the group as anyone else. Also, adopt some of these ways to become more confident:
- Be inspired by role models: Look for women in leadership positions who can teach you some interesting skills, such as speaking confidently, supervising entire teams, accepting and giving constructive criticism, etc.
- Don't let your "sweet" ways get in the way of your progress: being polite and kind are two important aspects for any adult, but women end up feeling that they have to put themselves below men - even when they know more than they do about certain subjects.. Find a balance between being kind and imposing.
- Speak with Confidence: Begin to demonstrate confidence and knowledge when speaking to people. Straighten your back, project your voice, make eye contact, and speak in definite tones. Don't make it sound like you're asking for permission.
- Be a good role model for other women: Just as you've counted on some women to become who you are, do the same for those who come next. Share your knowledge and skills among the younger girls and continue to guide them on the right path.
Step 5. Explore the world further
Keep up to date with important events and news to show people that you are responsible and smart. Thus, you will have topics to talk about and begin to understand your role in the world, in addition to identifying your main values. Do the following:
- Read the news, watch the news, listen to radio programs, etc. regularly.
- Follow the journalists you admire.
- Read quality nonfiction books that cover important subjects.
- Have your own reasoning. When you look for reliable sources of information first, you will begin to analyze the events happening in the world with your own eyes. This will be reflected in various fields of everyday life, such as the politicians you want to vote for (if you're old enough, of course). Also find other ways to get involved in the community, such as writing, participating in protests or volunteering for worthy causes.
Step 6. Participate in some rite of passage
Most cultures incorporate some kind of specific event that marks the transformation of "boys" into "men" or "girls" into "women". These events make these people feel like official members of the community. Whether it's a 15th birthday party, getting your first job or a driver's license, etc., it can all have a huge impact on your life. Depending on where you live, there may also be other, more specific rituals.
Step 7. Set goals for yourself and pursue your goals
Think of independent goals: they may be different from what your parents expect and be influenced by your friends and peers - or not. The most important point in a mature woman's life is when she decides to live by her own values and decisions. Think carefully about what you want in life and start organizing to get there.
Part 2 of 3: Acquiring the Skills Needed to Be a Adult Woman
Step 1. Understand that being a woman goes beyond physical characteristics
You will also have to mature emotionally, psychologically and behaviorally. The most important thing is to learn to be independent and adopt skills and habits that will guide your new life.
Step 2. Decide what skills you want to acquire
There is a lot to learn and you may not be able to assimilate it all at once, but these skills will ease your passage into the new phase of life without having to depend on others. Search local bookstores for works that guide this process and pay attention to certain guides. Finally, you can also count on the internet, friends, and other trusted adults to get you there.
Step 3. Learn to manage your finances
Every woman has to have financial responsibility. If you're in your first job, starting to pay college or thinking about moving out of your parents' house, you're going to need to acquire some important skills:
- Limit checkbook usage.
- Don't let your expenses exceed your income.
- Pay taxes and bills on time.
- Save money for important purchases and emergencies.
- Identify when it's worth and when it's not worth going into debt.
Step 4. Decide how you are going to get around
This is one of the most important parts of any woman's early adulthood. Depending on your age and where you live, it may be best to get your driver's license. In other cases, it may be worth taking the bus and subway to get to college, work, and other places.
Step 5. Acquire professional skills
Fulfilling your tasks, being punctual, taking responsibility for your actions and accepting criticism (positive and even negative) are essential parts of a woman's life, especially when it comes to the professional sphere. You will only be independent if you get a job that brings you financial returns and growth opportunities.
Step 6. Take care of your hygiene and appearance
As your body changes and develops, you're going to have to do different things and reinvent yourself to stay beautiful and healthy. For example: having to shower more often than before, using different hygiene products, etc. Also remember the following:
- Wash your hair once in a while: whether it's short or long, straight or curly, you have to keep it looking good. There are some simpler alternatives, like making a bun, adopting a short, easy cut, and trimming the split ends.
- Always walk well dressed: wear clothes that fit well and are clean and well ironed.
- Wear accessories: some women like to wear jewelry and makeup, while others prefer something more clean. If you opt for an ornament, wear accessories that are appropriate for your age and that do not cause allergic reactions and follow the dress code for work or college. For example, you could even wear that unicorn necklace when you were younger, but it's probably not going to be well-regarded in your current job. In that case, opt for something simpler.
Step 7. Take care of your home
Always keep it clean, whether you live alone or with your parents, siblings, colleagues or friends. Although you didn't have much responsibility for this aspect when you were a child, you have already become an adult and must follow some rules: clean what is dirty, vacuum, sweep and wash common areas (bathrooms and kitchen).
Step 8. Take care of your food yourself
As part of the maturation process, you have to learn to prepare healthy snacks and meals for yourself. Maybe no one else can help with the shopping; in that case, organize yourself well and opt for nutritious products.
You're going to make a lot of mistakes when you learn to cook, but remember that it all helps your growth
Part 3 of 3: Physically maturing
Step 1. Read and research the effects of puberty
Puberty is the stage of biological development in which the child's body transforms into the adult body, causing various physical and emotional changes. In girls, it starts between the ages of 8 and 13 and can last up to six years. It's essential that you understand what's going to happen - so you don't get scared or surprised. The most common signs are:
- Grow up suddenly.
- Develop the butt and breasts. At this time, these regions of the body are also tender and painful.
- Develop underarm and groin hair.
- Sweat more often.
- Develop pimples and other simple skin problems.
- Start menstruating.
- Go through changes in mood.
- If you don't start menstruating by age 14, see a gynecologist to see if everything is okay.
Step 2. Ask a trusted person about the physical changes puberty brings
Every woman goes through puberty in a different way, and many of them handle the process in personal ways. Still, you can take some steps to ease the phase and make it less stressful. One of the most important is to talk to a trusted adult (in your family or not) about how to respond to the maelstrom of emotions and transformations. She can be a kind of mentor and share her own reassuring experiences.
Step 3. Learn to love your body in this transitional phase
This period of life is exciting, but also frightening. Many girls get stressed when they gain weight, undergo skin changes, develop curves, and so on. Between 50 and 88% of them are ashamed of themselves at this time. Do positive things so you don't get caught up in these ideas. For example:
- Understand that the representation of women in the media is not true. It's easy to compare yourself negatively to famous models and actresses, but remember that they are the exceptions, not the rule. In addition, there are special effects, makeup teams, lighting techniques and other strategies that alter the look of celebrities. If necessary, avoid even the correct representations of girls and women: turn off the television, do not read fashion magazines and spend more time with friends.
- Praise yourself. Although puberty causes changes, like pimples, you still have reason to be proud of your body. Do you like to be taller? Feeling more adult? And having curves? Look at your reflection in the mirror and be proud of the transformations.
- Praise your friends. They are probably going through the same situation as you. List their qualities for boosting self-esteem.
- Adopt a healthy diet and exercise routine. Many young women are influenced to adopt extreme diets or heavy exercise routines to deal with the change in their bodies. Still, gaining mass (fat and lean) and becoming more curvaceous are normal and healthy reactions for the body. Don't do anything too extreme, like starve yourself, and try to take care of yourself in general.
- See a gynecologist if you think something is wrong. She will clarify what is normal and healthy in this process.
- Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is an effective treatment for people with a negative body image. If that's your case, see a therapist. You will be happier and more confident if you treat this problem before it gets worse.
Step 4. Call a trusted friend or adult to go shopping
Because puberty causes certain physical changes, you'll have to renew your wardrobe and buy other products to get comfortable. You may even have to go shopping several times during this phase to find out what is best. Call a friend or an older person for this process. Everyone has their own preferences, but the most essential items are:
- Buy a deodorant and an antiperspirant to cover up underarm swelling when you start to sweat.
- Start wearing supportive bras and the like when your breasts grow.
- Buy epilators and wax kits to remove body hair. Despite this, not every woman chooses to shave. It's a matter of taste!
- Buy tampons or tampons to protect your clothes from the blood of your period.
- Buy over-the-counter medications and cleansers to treat pimples. You can also consult a dermatologist to ask for stronger treatment.
- Buy new clothes in the adult section of stores when you start to grow and develop curves. Be aware that this growth is very fast. If necessary, visit more affordable thrift stores and shops to explore your own style.
Step 5. See a gynecologist to take care of your sexual and reproductive health
Women can get pregnant during and after puberty, which is a big responsibility. Therefore, you will have to take care of your sexual and reproductive health and consult a gynecologist - who will be able to talk about contraceptive methods and the prevention of sexually transmitted diseases, take tests and exams to detect tumors, etc.
Step 6. Understand that things don't have to happen all at once
On average, women reach emotional maturity at 32 years old (while men reach it at 43). Take your time: you will have plenty of time to grow and change. The process is long and gradual. Also, the brain does not fully develop until 25 years of age. Enjoy the journey while it lasts.
Tips
- Get together with mature girls and women you admire to learn how to grow more. Talk about your goals, dreams and even mistakes - they can help facilitate this phase.
- These changes don't have to happen all at once. Be patient and learn to grow healthily.
- Not every biological girl wants to become a woman, and not every woman is born a girl. The most important thing is to prepare yourself to become the adult you want to be.