How to Overcome the Death of a Loved Person (with Pictures)

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How to Overcome the Death of a Loved Person (with Pictures)
How to Overcome the Death of a Loved Person (with Pictures)

Video: How to Overcome the Death of a Loved Person (with Pictures)

Video: How to Overcome the Death of a Loved Person (with Pictures)
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Death, whether expected or sudden, is never fair. It is an injustice both to the person who has died and to those he has left behind. If you're recovering from the loss of a loved one, it's understandable that you're going through one of the most difficult times of your life. As impossible as it is not to miss this person, it is possible to move on with your life, always honoring those who are gone. Keep reading to learn how to get on with your life without getting caught up in the mishaps. Come on?

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Going Through Grief

Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 1
Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 1

Step 1. Remember that grief is normal

This is a very painful situation, but you have to go through it to recover and move on with your life. If possible, resist the temptation to disconnect from others or pretend the person hasn't died. Don't deny the bad event or pretend your pain doesn't exist. Grief suffering is healthy and natural, and it is not a sign of weakness.

Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 2
Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 2

Step 2. Prepare to deal with the five phases of grief

As much as each person suffers in their own way, it is believed that there are five phases in common in this process - this theory is not accepted by all psychologists, but there are studies that show that it represents the experience of most people. Knowing this won't end the pain you're feeling, but it will make you better prepared to deal with it.

Not everyone goes through the stages in the same order. Some people spend more time in one phase than another, others go through more than one phase at the same time, and so on. There is no rule when it comes to dealing with death. Some individuals are able to get on with life quickly, without even experiencing any of the phases of grief. Remember that each case is different, but try to understand the grieving process so that you can better deal with it

Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 3
Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 3

Step 3. Prepare to deal with denial

Right after the person's death, it's normal to feel nothing, as the brain can't process what happened and you won't believe the person is really gone. These feelings are usually more common in cases where the individual has died suddenly. Because of denial, you may not be able to cry or show a lot of emotions, but remember that this is not a problem: it is a sign that you care too much. Denial will help you cope with the first few days by allowing you to organize the funeral, get in touch with those close to you, and handle the financial part of the funeral. Often, it is at the wake that the plug falls.

If you've been preparing for the person's death for a while, you might skip the denial phase. For example, if your partner has suffered for a long time with a terminal illness, your denial has likely been processed before

Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 4
Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 4

Step 4. Know that you will certainly be nervous

When the death record drops, many people are nervous about anything: with themselves, with family members, with friends, with those who have never been through a similar situation, with doctors or even with the individual who has passed away. Don't feel guilty about it, it's a normal and even healthy feeling.

Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 5
Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 5

Step 5. Wait for guilt to arrive

If you've lost a loved one, it's normal to fantasize about everything you could have done to prevent that death. You may also feel remorse and think about how to reverse the situation, but that is not possible. If you find yourself thinking things like "If I'd done something different" or "I swear I'll be a better person if he comes back" is a sign that you're in the guilt phase. Remember, the person's death is not a punishment for you! Death is often sudden, illogical and random.

Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 6
Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 6

Step 6. Prepare to face depression and sadness

This is usually the longest phase of grief. Many people feel like isolating themselves as they go through it, and they also experience symptoms such as loss of appetite, lack of sleep, and bouts of crying. Sadness is normal and completely understandable, but self-destructive behaviors and the inability to get on with life should be analyzed by a doctor or psychologist.

Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 7
Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 7

Step 7. Learn to accept the death of a loved one

Usually, this is the last step of grief and it means you've learned to live without that special someone. As much as you will always miss her, you will be able to create a new "normal" for your life, without the presence of the one who is gone. Many people feel guilty about moving on, as if they were betraying the deceased's memory, but remember that he wouldn't want you to be depressed forever. To play your life is to honor the memory of the one who is gone. Remember this.

Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 8
Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 8

Step 8. Don't set a deadline for overcoming death

The grieving process can take a long time. Some people get over the loss in months, others in years. Even after a long time, it is possible to feel some lapses of pain, especially on special anniversaries. Remember that you cannot choose when you will get over what happened, and that you may suffer sporadically for the rest of your life.

While it's normal to feel a little sad for years after a loss, these feelings shouldn't disrupt your everyday life. If you can't work or live because of the pain, it's best to see a therapist. Sadness may never go away, but it shouldn't dominate your life

Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 9
Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 9

Step 9. Seek support from people who are also grieving

Many of the phases of grief encourage isolation, and as lonely as the process may be, you will certainly be stronger in the company of people who miss the deceased as much as you do. Share your emotions, whether they are sad or happy. In the end, they will understand your pain like no one else. Share the pain so you can move forward together.

Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 10
Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 10

Step 10. Ask outsiders for help

Those who knew your loved one can help by sharing your pain, but the other individuals in your life can also help you get your life back together. Don't hesitate to contact friends and acquaintances if you need help, whether it's taking care of your children or for a little distraction.

  • Be specific in your order. If you don't have food at home, ask a friend to bring you something to eat together. If you don't have the energy to take the kids to school, ask a neighbor for help. You will be amazed at how many people will support you at this point.
  • Don't be ashamed of grief. You will certainly find yourself suddenly crying, repeating the same stories, or processing the pain in front of others, but none of this is a cause for shame. These are normal and understanding behaviors.
Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 11
Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 11

Step 11. Seek professional help

Many people are able to overcome grief on their own with the support of friends and family. Still, a portion needs a little more support, and there's nothing wrong with that. If you are feeling isolated, live far away from your friends, or find it difficult to get on with your life, seek professional help. Look for psychologists and psychiatrists; talk to them. Another option would be to join a support group.

If you are a religious person, contact your church to talk. Many spiritual leaders have experience talking to people going through the grieving process. This can help

Part 2 of 3: Adapting to Life Without Your Loved One

Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 12
Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 12

Step 1. Take care of yourself

In the days and weeks following the death of a loved one, it's normal for the routine to blow up. You will likely have difficulty eating, sleeping and exercising, which is to be expected. After a while, strive to reestablish healthy habits and resume your life.

Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 13
Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 13

Step 2. Eat three healthy meals a day

Even if you're not hungry, try to eat at regular intervals. Frequent consumption of nutritious foods will elevate your mood and restore a sense of normalcy after a traumatic event.

Resist the temptation to "medicate" yourself with alcohol and drugs. As much as this sounds like a good option, it will be harder to recover in the long run. Healthy habits will be more effective on a daily basis

Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 14
Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 14

Step 3. Exercise frequently

Physical activities act as a distraction from grief as you will focus on the physical body and forget about the pain a little, even if only for a few minutes. Exercise also helps to improve mood, especially when done outdoors on sunny days.

Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 15
Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 15

Step 4. Sleep for seven to eight hours a night

As difficult as it is to sleep well during grief, it is possible to improve the environment and try to restore good sleep patterns. Some suggestions.

  • Make your room dark and cool.
  • Avoid using electronics before bedtime.
  • Create nightly rituals such as reading books or listening to relaxing music before bed.
  • Avoid caffeine and alcohol during tare.
  • If the person slept in the same bed as you, try sleeping on their side for a while. This will create a connection between you, and you won't be scared to wake up at dawn and see that her side is empty.
Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 16
Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 16

Step 5. Create new patterns

If your habits don't allow you to get on with life, try to find new patterns. This does not mean that you are abandoning the person who is gone, but that you are planning your future.

  • If you feel like you can't move on, as everything you see reminds you of the person who's departed, try rearranging your home's decor.
  • If you were watching a TV show with a loved one, call a friend to watch it with you.
  • If a specific place in town always reminds you of the person, take a different route.
  • Remember to resume your old activities when you get over the grief. This does not mean that you are forgetting the person who has died, but that you are allowing yourself to move on. So her memories will bring joy, not sadness.
Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 17
Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 17

Step 6. Resume your favorite activities

After allowing yourself to process the grief and pain, get back into your habits and get back into your routine. This will help to distract you from the pain, as well as creating a "new normal status". These activities will be even more important if they can provide friendships and a sense of fellowship.

Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 18
Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 18

Step 7. Get back to work

After a while, it's time to return to the professional world, whether because you like what you do or for financial reasons. As difficult as the beginning is, strive to focus on the future as well.

  • Ask if you can work short hours in the beginning. If you're not ready to work full-time yet, that's fine. See if you can reduce some roles or work part-time. It is possible for your company to make some accommodations.
  • Talk about your needs at work. If you don't want to discuss your loved one's death, ask colleagues to avoid the subject. If you want to talk about it, maybe the head of HR can talk to colleagues to instruct them to touch the subject in a delicate way.
Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 19
Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 19

Step 8. Don't make permanent decisions now

Do you want to sell your house or move to another city? It is normal to think these things, but such decisions should not be made with a hot head. Before making a drastic change, stop and think about the consequences. If possible, discuss this with a therapist.

Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 20
Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 20

Step 9. Enjoy new experiences

If you've always wanted to visit a place or practice a hobby, now is the time. These experiences won't end your pain, but they can help you find new people and new possibilities. A good option would be to participate in activities with other mourners so that they can process the experience and move forward together.

Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 21
Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 21

Step 10. Forgive yourself

When losing someone, it's normal to get distracted, make mistakes, or lose touch with things. Forgive your mistakes as they are normal and more than expected. It won't be possible to pretend that nothing happened, and things will take a while to get back to normal. Allow yourself this time for recovery, without judgment.

Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 22
Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 22

Step 11. Understand that grief is not going to go away completely

Even after you take back control of your life, the sadness of the loss will come at unexpected times. See mourning like the sea, with waves that drop at times and come back stronger at others. Allow yourself to feel these feelings when they arise, but seek support from others when you feel the need.

Part 3 of 3: Honoring the Memory of the Departed

Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 23
Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 23

Step 1. Make public rituals

The grieving process must not only honor the dead, but allow the living to accept the loss. Many rituals are performed during the funeral or wake. For example, wearing a specific color or reciting a prayer are things that allow people to express their grief together. No matter what your culture, a mourning ritual can help you recover.

Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 24
Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 24

Step 2. Create a private ritual

According to studies, some ongoing behaviors can help to overcome a loss, especially if performed right after a funeral. These rituals are usually unique to each person, but they are an important way to honor the deceased and recover. Some examples:

  • Touching an object of the deceased person whenever you feel sad.
  • Sit on the person's favorite bench in the park once a week.
  • Listen to the person's favorite CD while cooking.
  • Say good night to the person before bed.
Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 25
Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 25

Step 3. Keep memories of the person

As you move on with your life, it is possible that you will be happy to remember the one who is gone. Accept the happy feelings and think of all the gifts you received from your loved one. So that the memories are happy and not sad, think about how you will preserve the memory of the loved one. Share them with others and feel that warmth of love!

Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 26
Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 26

Step 4. Create a memory book

Talk to friends and relatives, asking about their favorite experiences with the deceased. Did she have a favorite joke or story? Do you have a picture of her laughing? Collect images, memories and quotes in a book. On the saddest days, read the book and remember the joy it brought to the world!

Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 27
Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 27

Step 5. Leave photos of the person at your house

It's a good idea to make an album out of her photos or frame a picture of you together. Remember that death was not the turning point in her life! Their time together was much more important.

Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 28
Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 28

Step 6. Bring friends and family together to share memories

You don't need a physical object to preserve the person's memory. Get together with those who cared about the deceased and exchange stories and experiences. Remember the good times, the laughs and the wisdom of the one who left.

Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 29
Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 29

Step 7. Keep a journal

When you find yourself thinking about the person who has gone, put it all down on paper in a journal. Maybe you remember an amazing experience that you hadn't thought of in a long time. Or, you may recall a time when you were nervous with the person and needed to process that situation. Don't push thoughts away from your loved one: accept them as part of your life and future.

If the journal is too much and you feel overwhelmed, set limits. For example, write for ten minutes a day, use guides to organize your thoughts, or write only lists rather than complete sentences

Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 30
Get over the Death of Someone You Love Step 30

Step 8. Think ahead

It is very important to try to move on with your life and seek happiness. The person who passed away wouldn't want you to get stuck in a cycle of agony. Suffer, but get on with your life. You have a very happy future ahead of you, along with all the memories of the person who is gone.

Tips

  • Getting over the passing of a loved one doesn't mean you've abandoned them, but rather that you're choosing to remember their life, not their death.
  • Even after accepting death, it is normal to suffer at unexpected times. This is part of the grieving process.
  • Talk to friends, relatives, spirit guides and psychologists during the most difficult times.
  • Allow yourself to suffer in your own time.

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