Finding out who you are can be difficult. As we are always evolving, changing and learning new things, our identity is also constantly changing. But there are some steps you can take to get to know yourself better and find out who you are.
Part 1 of 3: Taking action
Step 1. Create a personal inventory
By creating an inventory of your strengths and weaknesses, you will begin to look at what you do well and what you need to improve. This is a good starting point to discover who we are. To create the personal inventory, list your strengths and weaknesses in statements beginning with "I am" for strengths and "I want" for weaknesses.
For example, for strengths you could include items such as "I am a good friend" and "I am generous with my time". Weaknesses could include items such as "I want to listen better" and "I want to care less about what others think of me."
Step 2. Ask people you trust for help
To make the list even longer, you could ask friends for their opinions about your strengths and weaknesses. Remember to only ask this question to people who know you well and who can provide constructive and positive feedback.
Don't ask friends for help if you think they might hurt your feelings
Step 3. Make time for yourself
Schedule some time to be alone and review the list. This is also an opportunity for self-exploration and can become a regular part of your day, providing time and privacy for you to get to know yourself better.
Keep in mind that you don't need to spend this time meditating or reflecting. You can discover new things about yourself even by watching your favorite movie or doing some light exercise. The important thing is to reserve this time just for yourself and enjoy it
Step 4. Start small
Deciding what you want to change about yourself can tell you something about your priorities and help you better understand who you are. If you identify areas you want to improve, try setting a small personal goal. Reflect on what this goal says about you. What does it say about who you are?
It is important that the goal is small and measurable. For example, if you decided to be more assertive, set a goal to express your opinion once a day. It can be something as simple as saying what you'd like for dinner or saying "no" to someone
Step 5. Make art
You might think you're the least creative person on the planet, but you might never have taken a chance. Try writing a poem, story or song. Paint something or sketch the landscape you see through the window. Enroll in a drama course or start making videos with friends. Hang around with creative people and see if they can teach you something. Forcing yourself to be creative will take you out of your comfort zone and may help you discover something new about yourself.
Don't be too critical of your art when you're just starting out. Remember, the goal is to find out who you are and have fun
Step 6. Challenge yourself
Do something you would never do that scares or intimidates you. Don't let obstacles stop you. Instead, start with small challenges and work your way up to bigger ones. You may find that you are more determined than you think, and even that you have a talent you didn't know about.
For example, you could approach a group of strangers and try to make friends, sign up for a ten-kilometer run even though you've never run more than three, or see how much time you can go without logging onto Facebook
Step 7. Spend more time with the people who make you happy
You will learn more about yourself if you are around people who encourage you and make you feel good about yourself. Stay away from negative and critical individuals and seek out those who help you grow. Try to find people who cheer you up, live life in a way you admire and are fun to be around.
Part 2 of 3: Being Aware of Thoughts
Step 1. Keep a journal
Writing in a journal can make you more responsible for what you do, reduce stress, and bring about positive change. Every day, try to write in your journal for at least 20 minutes.
- For example, you could put thoughts down on paper at the end of each day, write when you are feeling apprehensive or when you have a good idea. Remember to include how you feel about life, what your goals are, and what doubts make you unsure how to move forward.
- When you feel lost, reread your journal and try to identify elements that will help you get back on track. For example, if you have a bad day, you can read about something that made you happy so you can start feeling normal again.
Step 2. Accept the defects
Everyone has flaws, so try not to obsess over perfection. Try to accept yourself as you are, flaws and all. If you start to feel inadequate, remember that no one is perfect. The important thing is to always try your best.
Step 3. Keep in mind that our identity is constantly changing
Finding one's identity can be difficult because it can change over time depending on what we're doing with our lives. Remember that changes are a normal part of life, so try to be receptive and accept these identity transformations.
At this point, perhaps you define yourself as a son, an accountant, and someone who values honesty. However, our identity can change over time, as well as the situations in which we find ourselves. For example, if you have children, you may begin to see yourself as a parent rather than a child. If you open your own business, you can start to identify yourself as an entrepreneur
Step 4. Make a priority list
The list should contain the things that are most important to you. Categorize items in order of importance. Knowing what's important to yourself can help you see what will really make life important and meaningful, so make the list carefully. She might surprise you.
Items you value might include: friends, family, studies, some school or college subject, your job, or a specific skill. Consider the value these things or people add to your life and start making more time for them
Step 5. Take responsibility for your actions
It's easy to blame all our failures or setbacks on others. However, when we accept that we are in control of our lives, including our failures, we are able to change for the better.
Also remember to accept responsibility for your accomplishments. Your achievements are the result of your ambition and personal effort. Whether you become a tennis champion or learn a new language, always remember to give yourself credit for your successes
Step 6. Respect yourself
Remember that you are unique and deserve love and attention, so it's important to give yourself the praise you deserve. Create a list of all the things you love about yourself. Looking in the mirror and identifying some of your favorite physical characteristics can also help. Praise yourself the way you would a friend.
Part 3 of 3: Continuing the Search
Step 1. Create a list of 100 things you want to do
Our goals can have a big impact on how we see ourselves, so make a list of the 100 things (big and small) you would like to achieve in life. Note what the items on the list have in common and make a plan to achieve as many things as possible. Some of these goals may seem unrealistic, but put them down on paper anyway. Writing them down can help you discover what motivates you.
By putting goals down on paper you are also more likely to achieve them. Don't be afraid to change or add items as you think of new things you want to do
Step 2. Strive to increase self-confidence
Building self-confidence is an ongoing challenge, but if you focus on taking small steps at a time and reaching your goals, you can build confidence and perhaps even self-esteem. Being confident will also allow you to challenge yourself, which will help you grow as a human being.
If you have insecurity issues, stop comparing yourself to others, appreciate your accomplishments, and set more realistic goals for yourself
Step 3. Try to be patient
The search for the true self is a lifelong journey, so don't worry if you can't find it right away. If you're feeling overwhelmed by the search, take a break to calm down. By simply allowing yourself to be you for a while, you can discover something important about yourself.
Step 4. Let the mind travel
Look out the window or close your eyes and see what thoughts come to you. It's good to daydream once in a while and let your mind go where it wants to go instead of forcing itself to think about a specific subject. You might even learn something about yourself in the process.
Daydreaming will help you relax and can make you more creative and productive
Step 5. Question yourself
Perhaps you think that all your beliefs are final, but stop for a moment and consider why you believe what you believe. Making a constant effort to question yourself can help you become a thinking and inquisitive person. Curiosity about yourself will help you discover who you are.
Step 6. Write about what you love and like
Make a list of the things and people you like the most. Thus, you will be aware of what is truly important to you. Use the list to help define who you are.
- Be honest with yourself. Don't change to please others and don't compare yourself to anyone.
- Stick to your beliefs and moral values. Don't let someone tell you how to think or what to feel.
- Don't let anyone tell you who you are or how you should be: that's your decision.