Obsessing is like looking through a blinker; the total vision of things is lost and only what we visualize is the object of our obstinacy, which ends up becoming an integral part of life. Obsession can be caused by fear and differs from addiction, which makes us never satisfied if we can't do or consume something. It's not easy to get rid of an obsession, but with the right strategy, channeling that energy to new people and interests, and stopping feeding it, it is possible to control and eliminate it completely, until it no longer commands the thoughts and wills.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Freeing your mind
Step 1. Move away from the object of your obsession
It is impossible to think of anything else if there is daily contact with the fixation target - the more we interact, the harder it is to shift focus. Physical distance is the first barrier to be established – the second is the mental one. This will be difficult at first, but you'll soon find that you don't pay as much attention to it as you used to.
- Often, an obsession with a person is a sign that a relationship is not healthy. If that's the case, limit your contact with the person, spend more time distracting yourself with other things, and try to find more interesting things to pay attention to.
- Maybe you're hooked on a hobby, like playing a video game or social networking. In this case, as bad as it sounds, prefer to uninstall the game and delete your account from that social network. This doesn't have to be definitive – just until you can develop moderation.
Step 2. Stop feeding your neurora
Just thinking about the object of obsession makes you feel an explosion of pleasure, but that's what makes it difficult to break the habit – thinking about it only strengthens the control it exerts over you. For example, if you're crazy about a celebrity, stop following her on Twitter, don't talk to your friends about her anymore, don't look at pictures of her on the internet. The more attention and space you give your obsession, the more it will control you.
- This sounds easy, but it isn't. You'll probably find yourself playing mind games with yourself, like promising that it's the last time you'll go to Guy's Facebook page. To succeed in the endeavor, you will need to stop immediately when this pattern of apology arises.
- There are obsessions so strong that no matter how much you stop feeding them, your thoughts won't stop turning to the subject. In that case, don't be discouraged or condemn yourself – it's still possible to get rid of this disorder, you'll just need a little more time and patience.
Step 3. Distract yourself from obsessive thoughts
Yes, it's easy to talk; after all, it's so nice to be able to talk and see the things we love so much, isn't it? However, remember why you want to stop it, how to realize that you would like to enjoy other things in life. A good strategy is to have some distractions on hand for when obsessive thoughts arise. This will make it easier to avoid falling into temptation. Here are some good ideas for entertaining:
- Do some type of physical exercise to occupy your head. Running and walking are not the best options, as they generate some free time in your head, which will certainly make you think about the object of obsession again. Prefer something like rock climbing or playing a team sport; you will need strategy and attention to do this kind of activity.
- A good alternative is to read a book or watch a movie; fiction is an ally to distract the mind. Choose works that have nothing to do with your current passion.
- You will need an emergency distraction when the mind simply thinks about what it is trying to avoid. When that happens, put a song you like a lot at full volume, or call a friend and talk about it. anything that has nothing to do with the obsession in question. Other options include reading interesting articles on the internet and focusing on work (the latter is one of the main ways to get rid of compulsive thoughts).
Step 4. Focus on the tasks you neglected
Obsession takes our focus and time away from other important activities, such as work, personal relationships and other interests. Refocusing on these aspects of life will make you spend less time thinking about it.
- For example, you may need to invest time in a relationship that you let go of in the name of your obsession. Your friends and family will certainly be happy to have you back and will likely share their ideas, personal dramas and other things, which can entertain you even more. When that happens, notice how good it feels to shift your focus!
- Many people prefer to bury themselves in work to break the cycle of compulsive thoughts and this works very well. Whatever your job, dive in and do your best!
Step 5. Learn to stay in the moment
For those with their heads on the moon, it's possible to spend the whole day daydreaming, especially when you're super involved in something. The problem is that not only obsession makes us travel, and when we spend too much time outside of reality, we end up missing out on the real events. So, in order to learn to control yourself and stop being obsessed, it is important to learn to be aware, to really focus on the present, without rambling on about the past or the future.
- Use your senses to feel everything around you. Reflect on the aromas, sights, sounds and flavors you can smell. Pay attention to what's happening right next to you and step out of the world of imagination.
- When someone talks to you, listen carefully and get carried away by the conversation. Learn to interact more, don't just shake your head, your mind elsewhere.
- A good strategy is to have a mantra to repeat when you find yourself about to become obsessed with something, something like "Breathe", "Back to the present" or "I'm here".
Step 6. Take Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
She focuses on untying the knots that cause the obsession and recognizes that there may not be a way to stop her own thoughts and triggers. Thus, it becomes easier to deal with problems and life, to think and do things – that is, it will be easier to control the obsession.
CBT also serves to create a word that can interrupt your compulsive thoughts, allowing you to turn your attention to other things
Part 2 of 3: Developing New Habits
Step 1. Intensify your bonds with others
If the target of your stubbornness is a person, spending more time with other individuals can be the ideal solution to letting go. Try to spend all the energy you would spend chasing this person with other friends; Enroll in a course, take the dog for a walk in the park and meet more people, or try to get to know your close friends even better. This will help you realize that there is much more to the world than this person.
- Avoid comparing friends who have just entered your life with her, try to enjoy their specific characteristics, not wanting them to be different from what they are.
- Going out to see people also helps if your obsession is not someone else, as you will have the opportunity to have new points of view, other subjects, things that may be completely unknown to you.
Step 2. Discover new interests
“Trying new things” sounds like a buzzword, but that's because it works! Learning a new skill or getting better at an activity you already do are ways to get your brain going, which has the power to change your perspective and get you out of this spiral. The idea is for you to know that your obsession doesn't control you and that will happen if you devote more of your time to something else.
- For example, if you're hooked on someone who hates going to museums or watching foreign films, don't hesitate to visit exhibitions and go to alternative cinema. Think about how many times you gave up doing these things for the person and have fun!
- If it's not a person, but a subject that fascinates you so much, try to learn something totally different, to remember that there are many more interesting things.
Step 3. Make changes to your daily life
If your habits contribute to this fixation, such as making a certain path to work to pass in front of a neighborhood you've lived in before, change your route. Stop and think about what habits you have that fuel your binge, and maybe you'll see what the problem is right away. When this happens, make a real effort to change your routine, however difficult it may be at first. You will soon find that you are no longer held hostage to these thoughts. Here are some ideas for mind change:
- Take a different route to school or work;
- Go to a different gym to work out, or go at a different time if you always go to see a certain someone.
- Instead of going online to read your emails and other daily websites, start your day meditating, running, or walking your dog.
- Go to different places to enjoy the weekend.
- Listen to different music while you work.
Step 4. Redesign your life
Regain control of the situation with some personal changes if you are tired of being dominated by your habits and thoughts. A radical change may be needed to remind you that you can do what you want. Think of something that has to do with your obsession and change it, do it differently.
- Let's say you let your hair grow out because the person in question likes it long; why not cut them? Make a bold new cut, something that has nothing to do with her tastes but yours.
- If you spend most of your time logging into the same sites every day, it might be a good idea to redecorate your living room. Move the furniture around, clean the table and decorate it with different photos and decorations; get rid of everything that doesn't do you good, use objects that remind you of this new direction in your life.
Step 5. Talk to a therapist
An obsession can be so serious that you can't get rid of it on your own, and because you can't control it, this affects your ability to be happy. In that case, schedule an appointment with a psychologist and he can provide you with the tools you need to regain control of your thoughts and, consequently, of your life.
If you have persistent recurrent thoughts, or compulsive rituals that you can't let go of, maybe your problem is an anxiety disorder called OCD - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. In this case, it is essential to get help, undergo specific therapies and take medications for OCD
Part 3 of 3: Turning Obsession into Something Positive
Step 1. Make it productive
Not all obsessions are bad; in fact, so many people spend their lives looking for a passion that moves them, that inspires them to learn more and work with more pleasure. If you have a fixation that moves you and gives meaning to your life, you can consider yourself lucky! Let's say you're obsessed with astronomy and, if you could, would spend the day reading and learning about it; why not make it a career?
- Even if he fails to transform himself into a prestigious academic in the field, his passion can yield other positive results. If you're hooked on celebrities' lives and can't stop reading gossip magazines, start your own blog with news from celebrities' lives! Open a Twitter account and share everything you know.
- Another idea is to use your craze to improve yourself. Assuming you're crazy about someone who doesn't match you, maybe this will drive you to change certain habits that prevent such a connection. This may be the necessary motivation for you to start exercising, quit smoking, or read the entire material to know what you're talking about during class.
Step 2. Allow your obsession to become your inspirational muse
Even if it is a person, use it to create something beautiful; many works of literature, music and the visual arts were generated from this type of fixation. Since you can't forget, use that energy to paint, write or compose.
Step 3. Spend time with people who are crazy about the same things
You will only think you are a freak until you find more people who feel the same way you do. Look for people who like the same thing, believe they exist. So you can share knowledge and have fun; it can be an actress, a football team, or a video game, anything in reality. Trust me, you are not alone.
Step 4. Don't let obsession limit your life
The truth is, we are often fond of something, but that doesn't interfere with our ability to do basic activities or spend time with important people. If your passion doesn't take your time and attention away from what matters, enjoy this feeling! A passion only becomes an obsession when it prevents us from living and consumes all our time and focus. Remember: only you know your limit. If an issue is affecting every aspect of your life, it's time to acknowledge it and take a break.
Tips
- Try new things to get your mind off the craving. Go out with your friends, read a book or learn to play an instrument.
- Don't push with your belly – solve the problem.
- Go easy if it's best for you. There is no need to cut everything out at once.
- Don't be afraid or ashamed.
- Take it as a challenge and face it!
- Do or think of something to change your focus.