3 Ways to Stop Feeling Alone

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3 Ways to Stop Feeling Alone
3 Ways to Stop Feeling Alone

While the world is increasingly connected, it's easier and easier to feel left out. Do you feel this way often? Know that you are not alone. Perhaps a desire has arisen in your mind to know how to deal with this feeling of loneliness. First of all, you need to know yourself well. Then you can start making some changes to overcome it.


Method 1 of 3: Taking Action

Stop Feeling Lonely Step 1

Step 1. Get busy

Do things that consume your time. When your schedule is full of activities that keep you productive and distracted, there's no time to get caught up in the fact that you're alone. Become a volunteer. Find a part-time job. Join a book club or gym with interesting group classes. Do some “do it yourself” projects. Just don't get stuck in your own mind.

What hobbies do you like to practice? What are you naturally good at? What have you always wanted to do but never had the opportunity? Enjoy the present moment and make your wish come true

Stop Feeling Lonely Step 2

Step 2. Change your environment

It's easy to sit at home and let the day go by while you watch your favorite comedy series. However, when you stay in the same environment, the grip of loneliness is always stronger. Go to a coffee shop to do your job. Go to the park and simply sit on a bench to watch the passersby. Give your brain some stimulation to distract itself from negative feelings.

Spending time in nature can have positive impacts on your mental health. Quitting can even reduce stress levels as well as improve your physical health. So grab a sheet and read a book on the park's lawn. Doing this regularly can lift your mood

Stop Feeling Lonely Step 3

Step 3. Practice activities that are good for you

Doing things that give you pleasure can relieve feelings of loneliness. Think about what makes you feel good. Meditate? Read European literature? Sing? Go ahead. Set aside some of your precious time and invest it in nurturing your passions. Or, ask a friend at school, an acquaintance at the gym, or a neighbor if they want to join you. New friendship made!

Avoid using substances to numb the pain caused by the feeling of loneliness. Find healthy activities that are good for you - not temporary solutions that can only mask your wound

Stop Feeling Lonely Step 4

Step 4. Watch out for warning signs

Sometimes you may feel so desperate to overcome the feeling of loneliness that you will end up taking every opportunity to be less alone. Be careful not to look for bad influences or people who just want to use you. At times, vulnerability due to loneliness can make it an easy target for manipulative or abusive people. Signs of people not interested in a healthy mutual relationship include:

  • They sound "too good to be true". They call all the time, plan every activity and look perfect. These are often early signs of abusive people wanting to take control of their actions.
  • There is no reciprocity. You can pick them up from work, do them a favor on the weekend, etc., but for some reason, they never repay the effort. These people are taking advantage of their vulnerability for their own benefit.
  • They get moody when you try to spend time elsewhere. You may feel so excited to interact with others that this controlling behavior may not seem like a nuisance. However, if these people ask about you, want to know where you went and who you've been with, or express concerns that you have other friends, these signs are a warning.
Stop Feeling Lonely Step 5

Step 5. Focus on your loved ones

While it is difficult for those who want independence, it is sometimes necessary to depend on others. If you're feeling lonely, talk to a trusted family member or friend - even if they're thousands of miles away. A simple phone call can improve your mood.

If you are going through a difficult situation, perhaps not even your loved ones are aware of this moment. It's not about telling them all your feelings if you don't feel comfortable - share what feels most natural. Most likely, they will be honored to receive this trust

Stop Feeling Lonely Step 6

Step 6. Find people who look like you

The easiest place to start is the internet. There are many ways to connect with others, such as local group meetings. Try to meet others who share your hobbies and interests. Think about which books or movies are your favorites or where you are from or where you live. There are groups aimed at all kinds of situations.

  • Just go out looking for socializing opportunities and take advantage of them. Search online for a collective fitness class. Find a group of comic book fanatics. Sign up for that sports league you saw playing from your work window. Get involved with something. Create opportunities. Start conversations. This is the only way to change the patterns of loneliness.
  • For that, it may be necessary to step out of your comfort zone - you need to think of it as something good, a challenge. If you don't like the experience, you can leave. Most likely, you will not be harmed by the situation, but you will be able to get something out of it.
Stop Feeling Lonely Step 7

Step 7. Have a pet

The human being lacks such bonds that it has stimulated the procreation of furry animals for over 30,000 years. And if Tom Hanks can live with Wilson for so many years, you will certainly benefit greatly from the company of a dog or cat. Pets are amazing companions. Just be careful not to use them as substitutes for people. Try to maintain at least some human connections so you have people to talk to and lean on in difficult times.

  • There is no need to pay thousands of reais for a puppy. Go to your town's adoption society, shelter or kennel and rescue one in need of a new home.
  • Research reveals that, apart from companionship, pets can improve psychological well-being and even help extend their owners' longevity.
Stop Feeling Lonely Step 8

Step 8. Think of others

Social research suggests a connection between inner focus and loneliness. This is not to say that you should not reflect on your emotions, but that it is important not to allow them to become your sole focus. If you look out towards others, loneliness can diminish. Studies suggest that volunteering, for example, helps people feel more socially connected and emotionally satisfied, which counteracts feelings of loneliness.

  • The simplest way to extend your focus is to find a group of people you can help. Volunteer at a hospital, public canteen or homeless shelter. Join a support group. Get involved with a charity. Be it an older brother or an older sister. Everyone out there is fighting some battle: maybe you can help them fight it.
  • You can even look for ways to help others who may feel lonely. The sick and elderly are often removed from social interaction. Volunteering to visit a nursing home or hospital emergency room can help you to lessen another person's loneliness as well.

Method 2 of 3: Changing Your Thinking

Stop Feeling Lonely Step 9

Step 1. Express your feelings to yourself

Keeping a journal can help you identify the source of the feeling of loneliness. For example, if you have a lot of friends, you might not understand why you still feel lonely. Note in your journal the times when this feeling arises. When do they show up? What do they look like? What's going on around you when you feel that way?

  • For example, let's say you've just moved from your parents' house to a new city. You may have a group of new friends from work who are pleasant enough to be around but still feel lonely at night as you enter the empty house. This suggests that you are looking for someone to develop a strong and stable emotional bond with.
  • Identifying the source of loneliness will help you take steps to combat it, and it will also make you feel better about your own feelings. In this example, understanding that you enjoy the company of new friends but miss the connection you had with your family while living with them will allow you to recognize that this feeling is something natural.
Stop Feeling Lonely Step 10

Step 2. Reshape negative thoughts

Pay attention to the cycle of thoughts that runs through your mind throughout the day. Focus on what you think about yourself or other people. If the thought is negative, try to rephrase it until you get something positive: “no one at work understands me” becomes “I haven't bonded with anyone at work…yet”.

Reshaping your internal dialogues can be an incredibly challenging task. Sometimes we're not even aware of the amount of negative thoughts we have throughout a day. Invest 10 minutes a day just trying to watch them. Then try to reshape them so that they become more positive thoughts. Finally, go on until you've spent an entire day monitoring your internal dialogues and taking control. Your whole perspective can change after you do this exercise properly

Stop Feeling Lonely Step 11

Step 3. Stop thinking in terms of black and white

This thinking represents a cognitive distortion that must be corrected. Always thinking in terms of “all or nothing” such as “I'm alone now so I'll always be lonely” or “I don't have anyone to worry about me” will only make progress difficult and make you even more unhappy.

Challenge those thoughts when they arise. For example, you can probably think of some moments when you weren't so lonely. You bonded with someone, if only for a minute, and you felt understood. Recognize and accept that these black-and-white statements are simply not complex enough to reflect the truth of our ever-so emotionally rich lives

Stop Feeling Lonely Step 12

Step 4. Think positively

Negative thinking can lead to a negative reality. Often thoughts create a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you think negatively, your perception of the world will also be negative. If you enter a party thinking that no one will like you and that you won't have fun, all the time will end up being spent next to a wall, not bonding with anyone and without any fun. On the other hand, with positive thinking, positive things can happen.

  • The opposite is also true. If you expect things to work out, they almost always will. Test this theory by making a positive statement about some situation in your life. Even if the results aren't wonderful, you may not feel so bad about the circumstances if you go through the situation with a positive mindset.
  • A great way to practice positive thinking is simply to surround yourself with positive people. You will notice how these individuals view life and other people, and this positivity can be completely contagious.
  • Another tactic for enjoying positive thinking is to avoid saying anything to yourself that you wouldn't say to a friend. For example, you would never tell a friend he is a loser. So if you find yourself thinking "I'm a loser," correct that harsh comment by stating something good about yourself, such as "I make mistakes sometimes, but I'm smart, fun, caring, and spontaneous."
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Step 5. Consult a professional

Sometimes loneliness is a symptom of a bigger problem. If you feel like the whole world doesn't understand you and it seems impossible to find shades of gray in your black and white thinking, it may be beneficial to consult a therapist or counselor.

  • Sometimes persistent feelings of loneliness can be an indicator of depression. Seeing a mental health professional in order to be properly evaluated will help you recognize signs of depression and successfully treat the problem.
  • The mere act of talking to someone about the situation can help. This will give you perspective on what is normal and what is not and what improvements can come from just changes in your routine.

Method 3 of 3: Understanding Yourself

Stop Feeling Lonely Step 14

Step 1. Identify your type of loneliness

Loneliness can arise and manifest in different ways in each person. For some it is a need that comes and goes, intermittently, while others see it as an integral part of their realities. You may have more of the social or emotional loneliness.

  • Social loneliness: This type of loneliness includes feeling aimless, bored, and socially excluded, and it can come when you don't have a solid social network or have been separated from one, such as moving to a new place.
  • Emotional Loneliness: This includes feelings of anxiety, depression, insecurity and desolation, and can arise when you do not have the strong emotional attachments you would like to have with certain people.
Stop Feeling Lonely Step 15

Step 2. Understand that loneliness is a feeling

An important and essential step in combating loneliness is knowing that, although painful, it is just a feeling. It does not necessarily represent a fact and, as such, it is not permanent. As the saying goes, “this too will pass”. It has nothing to do with you as a social being and everything with the neurons in your head firing in an unpleasant but changeable way. You can easily fight the thoughts of loneliness and feel better.

In the end, you are the one who decides what to make of your situation. Take it as an opportunity to understand yourself better and make changes about yourself. The evolving understanding of loneliness suggests that the pain it causes can spur you to take action and become someone you would never be otherwise

Stop Feeling Lonely Step 16

Step 3. Take your personality into account

For an extrovert and for an introverted person, loneliness has completely different meanings. It is important to consider that experiencing loneliness and being alone are not the same thing. Think about what the opposite of loneliness would mean to you and remember that it is different for everyone.

  • Introverts may want a close relationship with one or two people, and may not want to see them every day. Also, they may enjoy being alone most of the time and just need encouragement from others from time to time. However, if their social and emotional needs are not met, introverts can also feel lonely.
  • Extroverts, on the other hand, may always want to be surrounded by a group of people to feel that their social needs are being adequately filled. They sometimes get down when they don't interact with stimulating people. If their connections aren't satisfying both socially and emotionally, extroverts can feel lonely even when surrounded by other people.
  • Where on the spectrum are you? Understanding how your personality impacts feelings of loneliness will make you make decisions about how to overcome them.
Stop Feeling Lonely Step 17

Step 4. Recognize that you are not alone in going through this experience

A recent survey in the United States showed that one in four individuals surveyed said they had no one to talk to about personal matters. When family members are eliminated from choice, this number increases to half of the population consulted. This means that if you feel lonely and there seems to be no one to turn to for support, between 25 and 50 percent of the population experience the same circumstance.

Currently, scientists already consider loneliness a public health concern. Recent studies have revealed that people who feel lonely, because of physical or subjective distance, may die sooner than those who do not have this problem


  • Know that we live in a huge world and no matter what your interests are, there is probably someone out there like you; the question is simply to find that person.
  • Accept that loneliness can be transformed. If you reshape negative thoughts into positive ones, you can learn to be happy in your own company, or you can take more risks to connect with others.
  • Become more active on social media.People who increase the amount of posts on social media actually say they feel less lonely.
  • If you just sit there, feeling lonely, and not taking any action, nothing will happen. You have to at least try. Act. Go outside. Meet new people.


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