Everyone is afraid of rejection, but every now and then we need to take risks to get what we want. Read this article and learn how to ask someone out without losing confidence and self-esteem.
Part 1 of 3: Building a Plan
Step 1. Find out if the person is the uncommitted
This will save you some embarrassing moments and unnecessary effort.
Don't ask someone out if they're dating. It is inappropriate, disrespectful and shows a lack of morals on your part
Step 2. Be confident, but be prepared for rejection
Decide in advance what you will do and say if the person responds negatively. This is especially important if you are thinking of a friend, as the chances of damaging the friendship are great.
- Being prepared for rejection will keep you from looking physically defeated in front of the person you want.
- As you prepare for the possibility of rejection, don't let it get in the way of your confidence. Instead, let this preparation build your confidence, making you realize that getting dumped isn't the worst thing in the world.
Step 3. Find out what he/she likes, if possible
This will help you plan a nice date. If the person loves music, find out which style they prefer and invite them to a concert. If she likes movies, invite her to the movies, and so on.
Step 4. Decide how you intend to ask this person out
If you're too shy to do this in person, consider sending an SMS or Facebook message.
- Text messages are a good option if you are too scared to order in person. That way, at least you can hide your disappointment if you get an unpleasant response.
- If you've just met the person and don't have this type of contact, you'll have to do it in person. But don't panic! Making the invitation in person can be very romantic and rewarding if the person says yes.
Part 2 of 3: Inviting Someone You Already Know
Step 1. Start the conversation
Making a conversation first can help relieve the tension of asking the person out and lessen the nervousness you would feel.
- Send a friendly message saying "Hey, how's it going?" If you're talking to the person in person, come over and say hello. Do your best to smile and maintain eye contact to show that you are interested.
- Instead of making the invitation at first, ask what he/she will be doing the next day, the next weekend, and so on. It will make the conversation flow more naturally until you finally make the call.
Step 2. Ask if he or she would like to go on a date
Suggest an activity that you think the person would be interested in, based on what you know about them. If you can't think of anything, here are some ideas:
- Call for a drink, even if it's coffee.
- A nice lunch or dinner.
- Party or ballad.
- Have an ice cream or frozen yogurt.
Step 3. Advise there are no hard feelings if he or she says he doesn't want to go
This will help to eliminate some kind of embarrassment in the future, especially if you have invited a friend and want to continue with the same friendship as before. Most importantly, this will show the person that you are confident and mature enough to take rejection.
Part 3 of 3: Inviting a Person You Don't Know
Step 1. Make eye contact and smile at the person
This shows the person that you are interested in them, and gives them the opportunity to reciprocate the gesture, showing interest or not.
If the person looks distant and doesn't smile back, they may not be interested. However, it could also mean that she's too shy to respond, so don't give up just yet
Step 2. Approach and introduce yourself if you haven't already
Act with confidence, even if you're shaking inside. First impressions are very important, and confidence is an attractive trait in both men and women.
Step 3. Start casual conversation
Subjects can range from a comment about where they are to a compliment to the person. If you can't think of a good reason to start talking, try one of these:
- Ask what time it is.
- Ask where the person is from.
- Ask what she is reading.
- Praise what she is wearing.
- Talk about the music playing, or anything else around you.
Step 4. Ask her out
Once the conversation has started, let the person know that you find them interesting and would like to know more about them.
- Suggest meeting for coffee, lunch, dinner, etc. These meetings don't inspire a lot of commitment, so it's okay if you don't get along so well.
- Avoid movie guests as a first date, they won't have a chance to get to know each other.
Step 5. Be polite if he/she says no
If it does, just smile and say "Well, the attempt was worthwhile, nice to meet you" and then leave the matter alone. Don't keep bothering the person if they say no. This will make the person feel uncomfortable and you will look desperate.
- He knew how to identify when people are subjective. Some people are too nice to just say no to you, and instead they'll say they're too busy to go out. If the person says they're too busy and doesn't try to reschedule, they're probably not interested.
- Try to be very neat when you ask the person out. This will give you more points and help you feel more confident. As we know, trust is critical.