The Bible says, "Wives, be submissive to your husbands so that even if they disobey the Word, they can still be saved by your wives' honest and respectful behavior. Your beauty shouldn't just be outward-from braided hair., gold jewelry and dresses - but focused on the person inside, with a gentle and quiet spirit, something of great value to God." (1 Peter 3:1-4)
Do you ever think about what it takes to have a wonderful marriage as a Christian woman within the traditions of the church and of God? In fact, it's important that you and your husband work to build a relationship in Christ, satisfying each other's needs.
It is possible to be a great wife and glorify God within your family. Below you will find some suggestions.
Step 1. Be more secure by keeping the spirit of Christ in your marriage
Plan to create some moments of family glorification, as well as time to stay in communion with Christ. also study the bible and praise God, giving thanks for the opportunities you have received and for the life you have. Create a personal relationship with Jesus, and always pray to understand everything that goes wrong in life. (Proverbs 3:5)
Step 2. Choose to bring joy into your married life
The three pillars of your life should be: love Jesus, love others and love yourself in the same way. Therefore, love yourself as you love others and you will be loving as Christ did in his passage on earth. For example, it also means not trying to control your husband or other people, nor judging others, but to forgive to all.
Step 3. Learn to pray effectively
The Bible tells us to attend church often, alone, with your friends or your husband. Pray for others, pray with others, and pray incessantly, honoring Christ in all you do and say. Our physical life belongs to God, as well as our spiritual life, after all, His spirit is in us and we are in Him. Remember that "Christ is the right hand of the Father in Heaven and is always making intercession for us." (Romans 8:34)
Step 4. It is possible to have a happy and lasting relationship by being happy, positive and confident
Always remember that criticizing and belittling yourself in front of your husband, in private or in public, is a way of insulting his taste. Understand that if he's with you it's because he chose to do it and wants it for life. He thinks you're beautiful and smart, even when you don't see yourself that way, so do your part too. Your attitude is important for you feel sensual and wanted. Low self-esteem ends up creating an empty hole in your life, so take care of yourself, have fun and lead an interesting life with your husband and friends. Don't live just trying to control the relationship.
Step 5. Imagine what life would be like if your husband left tomorrow
Would you still have friends to meet? A church group you belong to? A full schedule? If you are not a complete person on your own, your husband would need to try to fill a void in your life, and that will never happen. In that situation, both of you would feel inadequate and unhappy. It is very important to take care of your life as a couple, your individual life and your family, always serving Christ.
Step 6. Express your needs clearly, without accusations. Don't expect your husband to be able to read your mind: if you want or need something, ask and discuss it together. Don't be hinting at him, hoping he'll understand and make the decision on his own. You need to communicate calmly, clearly and directly. If something is wrong, speak up! Christian relationships work best when both parties express their own emotions and take each other's side into account. For example, often just saying "I'm sad" or "I'm confused" will make your husband stop and try to understand what's going on. When he asks, respond honestly, always speaking in the first person: say "I feel sad when you slam the door" instead of "You slam the door and it hurts me." Take responsibility for your needs and feelings.
Step 7. Don't expect all your dreams to come true without doing anything
It is important that the couple strive to improve even more, but always remembering that no one will ever be perfect. Unfulfilled expectations frustrate everyone, but if you both continue to work toward marriage, you will become more and more involved in each other's lives and you will be happy. If you have expectations that are too high or unrealistic, you may end up setting unattainable standards. For example, it's unfair to expect to be a person rich in possessions, but you can focus on having the love of your life at home, cooking together and saving money so they can get what they want.
Step 8. Share household chores as much as possible, especially if you both work outside the home
It's a good idea to take advantage of the moments you have together to take care of the house and keep your home in great condition. Clean the house, wash clothes and cook together. These moments can be relaxing too!
Step 9. Choose your fights
Complaining and getting into trouble are things that destroy relationships. If he's doing the dishes, for example, don't be complaining that you'd like the dishes to be done in a certain way. Let him do some things however he wants. Focus your complaints on the most important things, but also without exaggeration. If it's something that bothers you, explain your reasons and let him decide whether you want to do it your way or not.
"Wives, place yourselves under the authority of your husband, just as you placed yourselves together under the authority of the Lord."(Ephesians 5:22) Of course, this is only true if your husband is not committing crimes, being cruel or abusive to you, your children, and others.
Step 10. Encourage your husband in the Lord's way
He must also do what the Bible says: "Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it." (Ephesians 5:25) If your husband is not showing love, not demand his affection or attention. Choose a moment to ask for his help and take the opportunity to hug and kiss him. If you get the timing right, your attention will likely be rewarded.
Step 11. Help him feel comfortable with verbal and physical affections that may or may not result in sex
Start guiding him in public, praising him to others, showing that you love his attention. Smile and say things like "These compliments will get you where you want to go." It's always a good idea to tease him lightly, playing with him at times when it would be impossible to do anything more private. That affection will build up, and he'll want to do something more the first chance they get to be alone.
Step 12. Keep your sex life interesting, but if something makes you feel bad, speak up
It's okay to be willing to try new and innocent things (or even suggest them), but it's important to discuss everything, including your limits. Don't immediately dismiss harmless fun just because something doesn't seem immediately interesting, or you could make your husband feel rejected or that you don't love him. At least be willing to argue and try to do what he suggests, as long as you don't feel uncomfortable with the act. Chatting is always the way to exchange ideas and interests. physical intimacy It's just as important to a marriage as emotional intimacy, so take care of both.
"Don't cut off sexual intercourse unless you both agree to deprive yourself of sexual intimacy for a limited time so that you can devote more time to the Lord's fellowship. Still, it's important that you resume sexual contact, as this will prevent the temptations of the enemy." (1 Corinthians 7:5)
Step 13. Accept your husband, with all his mannerisms and habitsIt's important to accept your spouse for who he is, so that you respect him and be grateful, not wanting him to change for you. It has so much to offer, but both need to have their own space and individuality. Help him to grow in the path he chooses and let him help you too.
Step 14. Be modest in public, always acting like a lady. "That woman may be wearing simple clothes, with a quiet and serious air; never with vanity caused by her expensive clothes and appearance;" (1 Timothy 2:9) Encourage your husband to expect you to be modest in public and erotic in private with him. There is a lot of temptation involved when women try to win over men and show off their sensual side in public. Always avoid immodesty.
Step 15. Forgive, repent and believe easily, always
For this, it is important to follow these tips:
Your husband is not perfect and sometimes he will irritate or hurt you. When that happens, you have a choice to make: hold a grudge and let him petrify your heart, or remember God's patience and forgive your husband, as you will be forgiven by the Lord.
- quickly repent. Like your husband, you are not perfect either. The Bible says, "God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble" (James 4:6), so it's important to be willing to accept your mistake and ask for forgiveness for acting inappropriately.
- believe quickly. The Bible says that love "always protects, always trusts, always believes, and always perseveres." (1 Corinthians 13:7)
Step 16. Always see the best in your husband and in life
Don't just focus on the bad side of things: see your husband as God sees him, focusing on the attributes you love in him and always praising him: “Dear God is doing work in your heart and you are getting closer and closer to Christ. " The key is to believe it, even when it doesn't seem true. Believe in Christ's ability to make this a reality.
- Support, encourage and praise your husband as much as possible. This doesn't mean you shouldn't voice your concerns, but that there's a difference between talking about your needs and criticizing your husband. Be loyal and love him, in front of him, away from him, in front of others and alone. Reaffirm your relationship and patience with each other, always.
To have a great wedding it depends only on you and your husband, as you lead a life in Christ, being happy applying what you learn from the Lord. Be a joyful person who tries more and more to become a loving and caring Christian woman.
"For it is the will of God that, by doing good, you will silence the ignorance of fools. Act freely, and use your freedom not to cover up evil, but as servants of God. Honor all people, love your brethren, fear to God and honor the government." (1 Peter 2:15-17)
- Violence should not be tolerated, even if your husband apologize and seem to return to who you were. This cycle tends to repeat itself and get worse over time, so learn to recognize a manipulative or controlling relationship.
- Don't be an aggressive, controlling, or nervous wife. Be fair and honest, never trying to manipulate or control your husband…
- Take care of his safety should he resort to violence, even just once. Depending on the situation, you may need to leave the house, call the police, or ask your family for help. Don't suffer in silence and don't accept abuse (physical, emotional or spiritual).
- If forced to do something, not be valued in the marriage, or suffer any kind of physical or emotional abuse, which is a sign that the relationship is not healthy and you should get out of it as soon as possible.