Having meaningful friendships is an achievement in life, but it is common to go through some phases without close friends. If your current situation is like this, learn to deal with the issue by practicing self-pity and becoming more comfortable with loneliness. It can be difficult, but creating a more positive outlook and seeking support from others can be very helpful. Finally, don't be afraid to slap your face and meet new people. Remember: anyone can be a great friend!
Method 1 of 4: Dealing with Loneliness
Step 1. Be compassionate with yourself
Treat yourself with love, respect and kindness, always. Are you going through a bad phase? Remember you are not the only one! Loneliness is something that everyone feels at one time or another, so don't blame yourself or feel bad. Know that this is part of being human.
- Remember that the feeling of loneliness is just that, a feeling. It doesn't make up your identity.
- Think about how you would treat someone important to you if they were hurting and treat yourself the same way. Begin by speaking calmly and gently, as you would speak to a loved one in pain.
- Congratulate yourself whenever possible. It sounds weird, but it might help.
Step 2. Process what you are feeling
Loneliness is horrible, but it's important to understand and deal with what loneliness causes, not suppress what you've been feeling. Take time to think about your feelings, noticing that lump in your throat and the tightness in your chest. Then move on.
- If you feel like crying when you process what you're feeling, cry. There is no shame in letting emotions surface. Trust me, you will feel better.
- Don't confuse processing with brooding over feelings. Understand what you are feeling to move forward, not to get stuck in a depressive spiral.
Step 3. Focus on long-term goals
If you're feeling lonely, focusing on achieving your goals can help. Do you dream of going to college? Focus on getting good grades and studying hard for the entrance exam. Always dreamed of traveling around Europe? Start saving money.
- Put your goals down on paper, along with plans to make them a reality. Thus, you will have more chances to succeed and do your part.
- Big, complex goals can be daunting, so break them down into smaller daily tasks. If you want to write a novel, start by striving to write a few pages a day.
Step 4. Spend time doing activities that you enjoy
It's possible to have fun alone, just make an effort and do what you like. Maybe you have fun writing, painting or going for a walk. Enjoyable activities lift your mood and help you get to know yourself better.
Go to your favorite artist's show alone. As weird as it sounds, you won't feel lonely during the show. Everyone there has one thing in common: the love for the artist or the band
Step 5. Make a video for YouTube.
If you're lonely, making a video is a great way to share your thoughts and feelings with the world. It doesn't matter if you want to make a funny rant, sing, or show off your makeup skills, you can connect with a diverse audience through YouTube.
The YouTube community is full of potential friends. People can love your video and leave comments. Maybe you comment on others' videos. Both situations can yield a friendship
Step 6. Create a blog
Keeping a blog is a great way to share your passion for a topic with the world, learn more about the topic, and join a productive community. Find something that interests you, like football, yoga or fashion, and start writing!
- Many bloggers end up creating a group of friends interacting with the virtual community.
- You don't have to tell others about your blog or even publish your posts if you don't want to.
Step 7. Take an online course
Distract yourself by focusing your energies on learning something new. There are several free online courses offered by universities. If you have already graduated, it is still possible to learn from courses available on the internet, which cover practically every imaginable subject. Find something you want to learn and register!
An online course can help you structure and give meaning to your life. If you feel like your days are empty without your friends, use your time productively
Method 2 of 4: Maintaining Positivity
Step 1. Indulge yourself
A good care regimen can boost your mood and help you relax. Set aside at least one day a week to do something to relax your body.
- The care regimen can include anything that stimulates the mind, body, or spirit, such as eating healthy meals, exercising, getting enough sleep, or spending time in nature.
- Other options include having a massage, going to the nail salon or getting a haircut.
Step 2. Talk to yourself positively
It's very easy to put yourself down when you don't have friends, thinking things like "I'm no good" or "nobody likes me." In addition to such claims being false, they are counterproductive. Speak positively with yourself to fight negative thoughts.
- If you find yourself thinking something like "No one will ever like me," remember your relatives who think you're great and repeat, "That's not true. I have a family full of people who love me."
- Make a list of the things that make you a great friend, such as being there when they need you. Reread the list whenever you feel unworthy.
Step 3. Develop a positive outlook on life.
It can be hard to see this, but there is always something good around. It's easy to see the downside of things and let the negativity overwhelm you, but be grateful for the little things, from sunrise to your health.
- Create a gratitude journal and each day write down at least three things that went right for your day. After a while, you'll notice that things aren't as bad as you thought.
- Instead of focusing on loneliness, wish others well! Smile at people on the street; who knows you don't get a smile back?
Step 4. Keep a diary.
This is an excellent way to tune into your thoughts and see how they affect your feelings and behavior. The diary will also help you stop every day to reflect on life and its values. Write your goals for the future on it and use it to figure out how to achieve them.
Reread the diary every six months to see how it has grown and changed in the meantime
Step 5. Exercise often.
Staying physically active helps improve your mood. You will certainly feel better about yourself. Also, take the opportunity to become a more active person! Go for a walk and enjoy the fresh air and sun every day.
Enroll in a nearby gym. In addition to exercising, you can make new friends
Step 6. Be kind
Maybe you're feeling rejected and angry at the world, but that kind of attitude will only drive others away. Be understanding, kind and forgive people who make mistakes. By exuding kindness and positivity, you will attract more kind people.
Smile at strangers, hold the door and let people pass
Method 3 of 4: Seeking Help
Step 1. Consult with a therapist
Sometimes it takes a little work to open up to new friendships. Too many negative thoughts can signal a problem that requires professional help. If you have difficulty socializing, you may suffer from anxiety, excessive shyness, or some other condition. Talk to a therapist to work through these issues and build your confidence.
Step 2. Spend more time with your family
Many people forget that family members can be good friends too! Spend time with your parents or siblings and talk to them whenever possible. They can help a lot during this bad phase.
Start a fun new tradition like game night or movie pizza
Step 3. Adopt a pet
As much as animals do not replace people, they are loyal and incredible companions, capable of relieving stress and making days fuller. Visit an animal shelter to adopt a dog or cat. As a bonus, a pet can help you make new friends, as it opens up the opportunity to get outside and chat with other pet owners in parks.
Method 4 of 4: Finding Friends
Step 1. Start a conversation
There are a hundred potential friends around you, but you may not know how to connect with these people. It's okay to be afraid to start a conversation, but don't doubt yourself: you can do it! Take a deep breath and ask a stranger something or make a comment about your surroundings. People love to talk about themselves, so find some topic tips to keep each other talking.
- For example, in line at the supermarket, there is a teenager playing on her smartphone. Stop and say, "You look good at this game. What's the point?"
- Ask open-ended questions that ask for a detailed answer, not a simple "yes" or "no".
- For example: "You said football is your favorite sport. What do you like most about football?"
Step 2. Put yourself in situations that force you to socialize
If you feel unsure about your ability to make friends, it's okay to decline invitations to parties and other activities, but such events can be valuable when meeting people. As much as you are nervous, cheer up and go to the party! The only risk you take is making new friends.
Just seeing people helps you like them more. Choose a social environment, like a coffee shop or bookstore, and wander around. Maybe you're friendly with employees or other regular customers?
Step 3. Maintain positivity when interacting with others
People usually approach someone who emanates more positive energy, so always speak well of others and smile to appear friendlier and more attractive. Gossip, as fun as it is, won't help you make friends.
- People like someone who makes them feel good. Encourage your friends and sincerely praise them.
- Say things like "Wow, do you volunteer every week at the homeless shelter? Wow! I'm really impressed. For telling me more about this?"
Step 4. Pursue your interests in the company of others
Surrounding yourself with people helps improve your mood and outlook on life. If you're going to play a sport or a hobby, look for club events and competitions to surround yourself with people with similar interests. It will be easier to start a conversation with someone!
- Join a club, even if you've never done anything like this. You will likely meet other inexperienced people and can approach them through the challenges or silly mistakes you make.
- It's okay to take it easy if you're hesitant; just don't let fear of rejection stop you from connecting with other people.
Step 5. Find like-minded people on the internet
Finding people in your area is time-consuming, but you can find many people who share your ideas and passions on the internet. Online friendships are not that intimate and usually don't solve the problem of loneliness, but they can still help you feel connected and pass the time.
Just don't let online friendships stop you from making friends in real life. Be careful when meeting people on the internet face-to-face
Step 6. Do volunteer work
You will benefit the community and even meet people who think like you. Helping those in need also allows you to put life in perspective and be even more grateful for what you have.