3 Ways to Deal with the End of Friendship with the Best Friend

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3 Ways to Deal with the End of Friendship with the Best Friend
3 Ways to Deal with the End of Friendship with the Best Friend
Anonim

The end of a friendship can be even more painful when your best friend decides to end it. It may take a long time to recover from this shock, but remember that it's okay to worry more about yourself and focus on your feelings at this point. Allow yourself to grieve, find ways to keep yourself busy, start new activities and try to maintain your social life. You can overcome this difficult situation and maybe it can even make you stronger.

Steps

Method 1 of 3: Dealing With Your Feelings

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Step 1. Allow yourself to feel the loss

It's normal to be sad. We tend to sympathize and support people when they are grieving over a breakup, but we generally don't do the same when the grief is caused by the end of a friendship, which can often be even more painful.

  • Understand that you are suffering a loss and that the best way to overcome that sadness is to allow it to manifest. You may be hurting, but letting those feelings out will make you feel much better and help you to get over your sadness. One way to do this is to not be afraid to cry if you feel like it.
  • Sadness can come back suddenly. Maybe you are feeling fine but something reminded you of your friend and now all the sadness has returned, for example. This is normal and will occur less frequently over time.
  • Remember that sadness manifests itself differently in each person. Give yourself time to get over the grief caused by the loss of your best friend as naturally as possible. During the process, try to maintain your normal routine. Exercise every day and talk to friends and family to help you feel better.
  • Talking to a psychologist can also help. If you're having a hard time getting over this sadness and feel like you're not getting better over time, consider visiting a psychologist, either at school or at a clinic.
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Step 2. Be firm

The loss of a friendship can have a great influence on a person's life. However, sometimes people may end up saying nasty things when trying to comfort you. Don't let your feelings be trivialized by others.

If someone says "No need to be so sad, it's not like someone died!" you might respond, for example, “I know you're trying to get me to see things differently, but I just lost my best friend. Going through this is very difficult for me, so I believe you should allow me to go through this moment of suffering."

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Step 3. Relax a little

Take time to relax and deal with these feelings. Life may seem to have gotten harder and you may feel more depressed or frustrated. This is normal at this point.

  • Do things that make you feel better. Doing something you like is the best option right now. A bike ride, a good family movie, a meeting with the church's youth group, or a relaxing bath are all great options.
  • Do things that help you improve your mental, physical, social, or spiritual health. They will all be ways of taking care of yourself. The ideal way to perform this personal care varies for each person. Think about what can help you improve, whether it's climbing, reading, or a night out dancing with friends.
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Step 4. Talk to someone about what you are feeling

Look for another friend, family member, school psychologist, or other trusted person. Rejection is difficult to deal with, so having someone around to support you will be of great importance at this point.

  • Find someone you trust who is a good listener. You could say "Do you mind if I vent? I'm really sad about my fight with Carla. She doesn't want to be my friend anymore."
  • If you're afraid your ex-friend will find out what you said to the counselor, try talking to someone outside your social circle or who goes to another school.
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Step 5. Try to see things differently

Maybe you're not ready to think rationally about friendship, so take a break. When you're ready, take some time to think about it and look for something that can be learned as a lesson by asking, "What did I learn or can I take as a lesson from this?" or "Why did my friendship end?"

  • Look for lessons that can be learned from this friendship. What did your friend teach you? Maybe you learned how to be generous or how to kick a soccer ball, or maybe the learning didn't just come from good things. Sometimes lessons are learned at the toughest times. Maybe now you don't understand what made the relationship go wrong, which may help you to prevent it from happening again in the future.
  • Sometimes friends separate naturally with life changes. Maybe you were best friends during your childhood and the changes brought about by the arrival of high school separated you. This is common but painful for many people.
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Step 6. Write a letter that will never be delivered

It might be a good idea to write a letter to your friend explaining how you feel. He will never be able to read what has been written, but it can help him anyway. After writing the letter, read it aloud to yourself and bury or burn it to help release those bad feelings expressed in it.

  • Writing a letter to someone without sending it has the same psychological benefits as a conversation with the person. This technique is even more important if your friend never wants to talk to you again. This can help you put an end to this story.
  • You can write the letter in a journal or some other private place that allows you to feel completely free to express whatever you feel.
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Step 7. Focus on the positive aspects of life

Losing a friendship is difficult and sad, but think about the other things in life that can give you strength. They can be family, friends, activities you enjoy, nature or faith.

  • Cultivate gratitude and good energy by creating a gratitude journal.
  • Pray or practice meditation to help you stay balanced, calm, and hopeful.
  • Try watching TED's motivational talks online to feel more motivated throughout the day.
  • Join a group where you are surrounded by positive people and make new friends. If you like to read, for example, join a book club.

Method 2 of 3: Keeping busy

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Step 1. Be creative

A great way to keep busy during this time of sadness is to do some creative activity. Expressing yourself creatively will allow you to focus all your energies on an activity that allows others to notice and identify with your feelings.

  • Perhaps you have an artistic aptitude that you want to improve. Get busy expressing what you feel through painting, dancing or poetry.
  • You can also take this opportunity to try something new. If you've always wanted to learn to sculpt, for example, look for a course that can help you develop this skill.
  • Find a friend who has artistic skills and ask for advice. You could say something like “I wanted to learn to paint. Can you give me some tips?”.
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Step 2. Volunteer.

Helping someone in need can make their problems seem much simpler. Find a local organization that champions a cause that you think is fair and participate.

  • You can help the organization as much as it can help you. You will feel good about doing something good and your effort will be recognized.
  • You might even learn a new skill that can help you at school or work. Being a volunteer is also a good thing for the curriculum and for competing for places at major universities around the world.
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Step 3. Join a new club or activity

Having something to do will take your focus off the end of friendship and allow you to make new friends. Consider joining a school or college group that has always caught your eye, or try some physical activity in a group. Meeting people who share common interests is a great way to start new friendships.

  • Perhaps your ex-friend has discouraged you from participating in certain activities. Now is the perfect time to give them a chance. If your ex-friend has never encouraged you to participate in sports but you've always thought about what it would be like to be part of the running team, take this opportunity to try something he never approved of.
  • Talk to new colleagues and ask if they would like to go out with you. You can say "Wow, I'm really hungry! Would you like to go out to dinner after rehearsal?"
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Step 4. Make changes

Take the opportunity to make some changes in your life. It doesn't matter if it's something new or a change in look, try to get rid of the negative energies that your ex-friend left behind and start over.

  • You could finally make that big haircut change you've been thinking about for months or simply buy new clothes to refresh your wardrobe.
  • You could try learning a new skill or hanging out with a new group of people that looks interesting.

Method 3 of 3: Keeping a Sociable Life

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Step 1. Keep up the education

Perhaps you see your ex-friend regularly and are forced to interact with him. Keep polite and respectful, even if you are suffering. It's not necessary to talk to him, but you do need to remain civil.

  • Say hi to him if you find him in the hallways of the school. This will probably be awkward, but it will demonstrate that you are a more mature person.
  • If you start to get emotional around him, find a way to get out of the room. Leave the room and entertain yourself with your cell phone or a book or chat with other people.
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Step 2. Avoid badmouthing your ex-friend

Maybe all you want right now is to vent about how what happened hurt you. To do this, look for someone who is not a mutual friend of his. When you are around people who are also friends with him, avoid saying anything bad, as he will probably know.

  • If someone asks what happened between you, say something like “We're not friends anymore. I'm still very sad about what happened and I don't want to talk about it right now.”
  • Don't force your friends to choose sides. If you wish, tell what happened, but try to do so without blaming the other person. You could say, “He's already made up his mind, but I'm trying not to badmouth him because of it. I'm sad, but there's nothing I can do.” You should avoid talking about the breakup with people who are friends with him. Just say something like "I'm not comfortable talking about this" and change the subject.
  • Don't talk all the time about what happened. Your friends will soon get tired of hearing your complaints. If you need someone to help you through this moment, perhaps the best option is to find a psychologist or another trusted person who can help you with this.
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Step 3. Stay away from social media

Don't vent about what happened on social media. The internet never forgets, and you may end up causing more confusion by talking about your ex-friend.

Hide the posts or unfriend your ex-friend on social media. This can help him not be so sad when he sees everything he is doing

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Step 4. Decide what you are going to say

You might feel anxious about meeting your ex-friend somewhere, especially if you don't see him often. Thinking about what you will say when you meet him can help you feel more confident.

  • Rehearse what you are going to say until you are comfortable enough to express what you feel to him efficiently.
  • For example, if you're not sure why your ex-friend ended the friendship, it might be a good idea to talk about it and put an end to the story. You could ask, “Laura, I know you don't want to talk to me anymore. I understand, but I would like to know what made you make that decision. Don't be afraid to speak up because there's no way to hurt my feelings more than you already have by ignoring me.” Remember that the person may not respond, in which case you will need to accept the situation and get over it.
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Step 5. Find friends who respect you the way you are

Things may have ended badly with your ex-friend, but that doesn't mean you don't have other good friends around. Reach out to the people who helped you during this difficult time.

  • Friendship with your ex-friend may have taught you to notice which qualities are important to you in a friend. Look for your friends who have the qualities you admire or try to make new friends who have them.
  • For example, if your ex-friend was very fond of making fun of other people and you never liked it, look for friends and acquaintances who do not have this kind of behavior.
  • Maybe you're interested in being friends with someone but you don't know the person yet. If that's the case, take the initiative to ask her out. It might be a little awkward at first, just as it's awkward asking someone on a first date, but it's the risk you have to take to make a new friendship.
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Step 6. Think ahead

It can be hard to imagine what's to come right now, but understand that friendships, like people, grow and change. You and your ex-friend may think the relationship is really over in the present, but maybe in the future you can reconnect. Maybe you guys get close again or are just casual friends, but more importantly, your bad feelings will probably go away in time.

  • You may end up coming closer again in the future. If you're young, maybe age can reconnect you, as people often like to get back to seeing those who make them feel young.
  • At some point, you may find that your lives have become similar again, which may cause a desire to reconnect. For example, maybe you went to the same university, got married at the same time, or moved to the same city. We can never know what life has in store for us!
  • If you are older when the friendship ends, perhaps a common activity or a new phase in life (when your children leave home, for example) can bring you closer in a few years.

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