Everyone dreams of having a best friend who is always watching their backs, and there are many reasons people have best friends. Whether by a natural evolution of the relationship, or by an intentional path followed by you, having a good friend is simpler than it sounds. Read on to learn more!
Method 1 of 3: Making New Friends
Step 1. Always start with a light conversation
If you are not a person of many friends, know that this is the first step to change that. Talk about silly things like the weather, your hobbies and what you do for a living. Another good strategy is to talk about something going on around you. To break the ice, bet on a simple presentation, saying your name and what you do.
- Ask each other about their hobbies and see if you have any mutual interests. Get to know the person better - what they like, what they dislike, what their favorite movies and artists are, etc. - and assess whether you would make good friends.
- You can make new friends anywhere, just leave the house and get slapped! Do some extracurricular activities at school, join the book club, go to the park, etc.
Step 2. Listen actively
Don't be that person who just talks and asks questions all the time, or you may end up overwhelming the other person. Also don't be mute, letting the other lead the whole conversation. If the person doesn't seem very interested in talking, however, let them go. The world is full of possible friends out there!
Step 3. Don't just try to be friends with the popular crowd in the class
Trying to "infiltrate" a closed group almost never works, because people will see what your intention is. Try talking to people who seem more open and willing to make new friends, including shy ones who don't seem to have the courage to talk to others.
Method 2 of 3: Turning a Friend into a Best Friend
Step 1. Start getting closer to your friend
Be careful not to get too emotional or over-the-top, or you may be seen as a strange person. If they're at school, stay close to him at break. Use your free moments to start a conversation and keep the conversation flowing.
Step 2. Reinforce the new friendship
- Ask for the person's phone number so they can exchange messages via WhatsApp and, who knows, make audio or video calls to chat once or twice a week. Your friendship should be constant, but be careful not to end up smothering the other. No calling him every day or always at the same time. Bet a little on unpredictability!
- Give gifts on birthdays and anniversaries. You don't need to spend a lot of money on this, obviously. A gift made by yourself is a great option, as long as you don't seem to have spent days preparing.
- Write a handwritten letter. Posting a text on the Facebook wall is easier, but a card or handwritten letter is always better. Look for beautiful, quality paper, write the letter and send it by post to show how much you thought about this declaration of friendship. It is very likely that the person will treasure this document for years.
- Invite him to your house to do something fun. Obviously, this type of invitation works better after a while. It might sound weird calling someone you've known for a week to come over to your house, right?
- Some relationships flow easily, while others need more consideration and effort. Okay, each case is different! Dedicating yourself to maintaining a friendship doesn't mean "it's not meant to be," but rather that you have different lives and that it takes a little effort to keep the relationship going.
Step 3. Assess whether the relationship is a two-way street
No friendship should be one-sided. Listen carefully to the other and see if he is really interested in being your friend. If this is not the case, you will end up being disappointed and giving an image of despair.
Step 4. Get to know the person's other friends
To get closer to your friend, you need to mix social circles and participate in his life more deeply. Even if they don't become best friends in the end, you'll still meet more people and expand your range of options.
Method 3 of 3: Building a friendship
Step 1. Say the person is a great friend
Leave to do this when your relationship is more advanced and firm. How about sending her a note in the classroom written "Hi, I never told you that, but know that your friendship is very important to me!".
Step 2. Share a secret with the person
Choose something that is not so important to trust your friend. So, if he ends up "leaking" the information, at least you won't be harmed so much and you will be able to know if the person is really worthy of being your "best friend".
If she keeps the secret, share another one, this time slightly more important. Over time, you will build a good relationship of trust and it will be possible to share even your deepest thoughts with each other
Step 3. Always be honest with the friendship
To be someone's best friend, you have to be honest and open with the person, believe me.
Hiding things from your friend can end up having negative consequences for your relationship
Step 4. Avoid jealousy and suspicion
Within a healthy friendship, both parties are sincere and don't assume things. No "thinking" your friend thinks anything unless he says or demonstrates it. Don't get carried away by the doubts in your head or the gossip of others, as these things can destroy friendships.
- Don't laugh at your friend when he's embarrassed about a situation. Instead, try to comfort him!
- The dream of having a best friend is possible, but it's important that the other person doesn't realize you're trying to make it happen. Don't ever ask someone if she's your best friend unless you don't mind appearing desperate for attention. Get close to the person but don't smother or intimidate them.
- Invite the person to meet with you each week. Doing something fun should help create a good relationship between you.
- Always be present, in good times as well as in difficult ones. Help when you can and be a good friend!
- Don't smother the person! Let her live her own life too.
- Bet on a kind, loyal, trustworthy and sincere person to be your best friend. Always be yourself and try to make your relationship develop naturally.
- If you are invited to someone else's house, be polite and respectful of their parents. Obviously, don't go overboard, or your friend might be embarrassed.
- Don't just have one friend. If that happens and you end up falling out, you'll be alone. No person lives well with just one friend, believe me. It's good to diversify relationships, so that everyone has a little time to breathe freely.
- It's impossible to be a good friend if you talk bad about him behind his back. Don't be that person.
- Remember to listen as much as you talk. Don't dominate your conversations!
- A friendship takes time to develop. Don't try to speed things up or force a relationship, as this will hurt both of you.
- Not everyone likes talking on the phone. If your friend is one of those, skip the Step that says to make audio or video calls with them.
- Don't choose a mean person or two guys to be your best friend. Be careful, as many people play nice up front but talk bad about others behind their backs. Obviously, don't go around making accusations like that, but be smart and be careful.
- Don't get so attached to your new friend, or he may end up being suffocated and preferring to avoid the friendship.