How to Ask a Person if they are Single: 9 Steps

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How to Ask a Person if they are Single: 9 Steps
How to Ask a Person if they are Single: 9 Steps

When you meet someone interesting and want to ask them out, find out if they are single in the first place. This can be quite a bit of work and you shouldn't be naughty. Luckily, some simple methods to find out if a person is single also favor a possible date. At the very least, you will be able to avoid an awkward situation if it is compromised.


Method 1 of 2: Using a Direct Approach

Ask a Person if They're Single Step 1

Step 1. Make eye contact and smile

Flirting a little doesn't hurt anyone, besides being a good way to measure if the attraction is reciprocal and if the person is accompanied; if she smiles back, count yourself lucky.

  • Exchanging glances and smiling is a sign that you want to talk. So if you are on opposite sides of the room, look and smile. If it's reciprocated, move closer.
  • However, if the person doesn't hold your gaze, you may not be in the mood.
Ask a Person if They're Single Step 2

Step 2. Start a conversation

Some people hate to talk about amenities, but that's part of the process of finding out if she's single. Besides, this is just the beginning of the conversation. After approaching, introduce yourself and start talking. Talk about various topics before asking if she has a boyfriend, to find out more and find out if you are compatible. Use trivial subjects like:

  • Where they are. Say something like “The coffee here is the best in town! What are you taking?”
  • The people who accompany them. Try “This is my friend So-and-so. Are you accompanied?”
  • A recent event. Start with "Did you watch the game yesterday?"
Ask a Person if They're Single Step 3

Step 3. Ask if the person is in a relationship

When you see that they got along, ask her if she has a boyfriend. Be blunt, this is not a good time to fumble.

  • Ask "Do you have a boyfriend?" or "Do you have a relationship with anyone?"
  • If she says yes, don't show frustration. Prefer to show that you are ok by saying "Cool". Afterwards, talk some more, excuse yourself and leave.
  • On the other hand, if she says she doesn't have a boyfriend, don't show your enthusiasm. Say “Cool. Me neither.".
Ask a Person if They're Single Step 4

Step 4. Ask for the phone number or call her out

You are having fun, you are free and unencumbered, why not? Ask for the phone number or arrange to leave. There are several methods for this, but the ideal is to be simple and straightforward.

  • Try something like this: “Talking to you is really cool. Would you like to have dinner with me one of these days?” or “I'm going on a trail on Saturday, want to come with me?”.
  • Don't be discouraged if she says no. She may be getting out of a relationship and not ready for dates yet.

Method 2 of 2: Using an Indirect Approach

Ask a Person if They're Single Step 5

Step 1. Notice the person's body language

Observing the way she interacts with others can indicate whether she has a boyfriend; if she is with a group of friends or with a date, see how she behaves with them. Take a look from time to time to see how she acts.

  • For example, is she leaning towards someone and smiling? Does she seem closer than a friend would to someone or is she holding hands with someone else? Do they touch each other's hands, arms and shoulders? All these signs could mean she is dating.
  • However, if she doesn't appear to be intimate with anyone, chances are good that she's single.
Ask a Person if They're Single Step 6

Step 2. Look for an alliance

An engagement, engagement or wedding ring is O sign that there is a commitment. Take a look from where you are and look for a ring on the ring finger (closest to the little finger) of your left hand.

She's more likely to be single if you don't have a ring, but remember that being engaged doesn't necessarily mean being married

Ask a Person if They're Single Step 7

Step 3. Introduce yourself

If she seems single, approach her and try to get to know her better. You can still find out she has a boyfriend, whether in the first conversation or later.

  • If she's alone, say “Hi, I'm So-and-so. What is your name?"
  • Introduce yourself to the entire group if she's with friends. Say “Hello, I'm So-and-so. How did you meet each other?”.
Ask a Person if They're Single Step 8

Step 4. Try to get to know her better

A good idea when meeting someone interesting is to ask questions to find out more about them, including if they're single. Give her a chance to talk and find out. Some suggestions are:

  • Where did you grow up?
  • Where do you work? You like?
  • Do you have pets?
  • What do you like to do in your spare time?
Ask a Person if They're Single Step 9

Step 5. Ask if the person has plans for the weekend

If she has a boyfriend, she probably has something scheduled to do with him. Like someone who doesn't want anything, ask what the plans are and the answer can tell you if she's single or not; if not, you can amend an invitation in the conversation.

  • Say "What are you going to do this weekend?"
  • If she says there's nothing special in sight, continue with something like “I was thinking about going to the movies. You want to go with me?".
  • If she says she has plans with her boyfriend, be calm and say “That's cool! I hope you have fun!”.


  • Ever talk for a while before trying to find out if the person is single or not. Ideally, she should feel comfortable before talking about personal things.

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