Whether it's a longtime friend or a new person in the class, when we're in love with someone, just thinking about that person makes our stomachs go cold, our hands get sweaty, and our heart races. It's perfectly okay to ask yourself if he's thinking about you, and once you understand what he's feeling, you can make him admit he's interested too.
Method 1 of 2: Finding Out If It's Available
Step 1. Find out if he is already dating someone
It's never a good idea to get a committed man to come forward, it will create an unfavorable situation for you and harm others. Also, getting your hopes up for someone who is already interested in someone else won't do much good either. Finding out what his case is not difficult, just talk to the right people, check social media or ask directly. Here are some ways to approach the subject:
- When you have the courage, simply ask in one of your everyday conversations “Are you seeing anyone?”; it doesn't mean anything, it's part of any normal conversation.
- If you can't ask directly, either because of shyness or because they don't have much contact, talk to his friends. Mention him in the middle of the conversation and say "Do you know if he has a girlfriend?"
- Look on Facebook or other social networks for his relationship status.
Step 2. Find out what his opinion is about dating and how he feels about it
After finding out if he's single, find out what he thinks of relationships. Before trying anything, it's vital to find out if the two of you are of the same mindset and are compatible on the subject. If possible, try to spend more time with him alone and be subtle. For example:
- "When was your last relationship?"
- "How is your romantic life going?"
- "Have you been dating anyone?" or "Was your last date cool?"
Step 3. Make things light and fun with it
Whenever they're talking, keep your tone amusing and see if he's playful with you too. Patting his shoulder to see what his reaction is is a good idea; if he laughs and nudges you back, that's a good sign. The relaxation will make him feel comfortable with you and realize that you are interested.
- Laugh at his jokes. That way, he will feel confident to open up.
- A light touch on his arm or shoulder is a subtle way to show you're into him.
Step 4. Notice if you have chemistry
Laughing whenever they meet and thinking the same way can mean that there is attraction; note that they are always happy when they see each other and that he uses his name a lot: these are good signs. Also, note if:
- He is always fidgeting with his hands or playing with something. He can get excited and anxious when he sees you, this is a classic sign of attraction.
- He observes its appearance and notices details. The name of this is imprinting, or imprinting, caused by the levels of dopamine released in the body.
Method 2 of 2: Helping You Open Up
Step 1. Have a trusting relationship
Make him feel special by showing that you care about him as a person. Ask what your passions and dreams are for the future. Make him comfortable with a positive and open attitude about the things he tells you. In turn, tell him things about yourself to make him feel important: let your guard down. Realizing that you trust him can help him to trust you.
- Share your biggest fears and most embarrassing moments.
- He'll certainly feel more comfortable admitting he's in the mood if you do that first.
Step 2. Listen to what he has to say and don't judge him
Let him show you who he really is, show him that you won't judge him and that you like his peculiarities. The idea is to build trust so he will feel like he can talk to you about anything. He may be afraid of being rejected and so is in doubt whether or not to say what he feels. Do not criticize or reject it.
Men need to feel free to talk about feelings
Step 3. Don't suffocate it
Nobody likes to feel surrounded, being on top of him will make him withdraw. Even if you feel something, you may change your mind depending on the level of stickiness you demonstrate.
- Be patient. Rushing things will frighten him and he will shut down.
- Don't flood his cell phone with text messages. Don't be the first person to communicate with him via SMS and don't be the last either; conversations should be well distributed, neither side should engage in conversation more often than the other.
- In fact, he will have to invite you half the time you go out. When you call him to do something and he explains he can't, let him ask you next time.
Step 4. Don't run after him
Perhaps he prefers to be hunted and not say what he feels; getting behind him trying to figure it out will make him run away. He may enjoy being hunted more than hunting; pulling back a bit can make him realize he doesn't want to lose you and speak his mind.
- Do not visit at home or at work without being invited.
- When they cross paths at a party, don't look for him all the time. Chat with other friends and show that you have a life of your own.
- In a flirtatious situation, only one person is hunting and that person doesn't have to be you.
Step 5. Be authentic and humble
bragging will make him uncomfortable, as he will notice that you are pretending to be someone you are not and so it will be difficult to open up to you. Trust your putter, but don't babble about it so you don't sound arrogant.
- Don't talk bad about others or how awesome you are. Instead, how about praising him? Listen to what he has to say and remember that not knowing something or making a mistake is not a crime.
- Gossip about others can gossip about him too and it will be difficult to establish trust in this way.
Step 6. Flirt with his friend lightly
Paying more attention to another guy can make him afraid you'll lose interest and admit you're in the mood. Don't overdo the flirting, just have more fun conversations with another guy in the class to bring out a little jealousy. Talk things like:
- "What do you like to do in your free time?"
- "What's your job?" or "What kind of job do you want to do in the future?"
- "What are your favorite movies?"
Step 7. Don't show your feelings too much right away
Thinking you're already in his way can make him feel like he doesn't have to say what he feels. When you decide you want to know, start playing hard to get. Don't be available all the time and don't answer phone calls and messages as soon as you pick them up, it can speed up the process.
- Let him miss you and wonder what you're doing. Remember to allow him to run after you.
- When he asks you what you're doing over the weekend, be honest and use affirmative statements. Say "I'm going to watch a movie with some friends" or "I'm going to spend some time with my family and I still don't know what I'm going to do next."
- Whatever your answer, don't show that you're going to be bored and sulky at home so you don't sound desperate.
Step 8. Ask if he likes you in a cute and funny way
Asking this will not have disastrous consequences. Perhaps shyness prevents you from saying what you feel; in which case he can honestly answer that he likes you and even swear undying love. If you already have a close friendship and your smiles and flirtations are reciprocated, ask directly. Here are some ways to do this:
- Stay close to him and say “I'm into you and I wonder if it's reciprocal” or “I love it when we're together. Do you like being with me?".
- If he's at a loss for words, giggle and say "You like me, huh?" Your charm will win you over.
- If he says yes, congratulations! Otherwise, at least now you know and you can stop wasting time and move on. If he stops to think, don't worry; I may not be able to explain it in words.
- Giving him subtle hints that you like him and showing that you're receptive can open him up in return.
- Let him be who he is when you are together.
- If he loves to tease you, that could be a sign that he's up, too.
- Don't flirt with the other guys too much. Yes, it can make him jealous, but it can also make him lose hope and stay with him forever.
- He used to smile. If he reciprocates by nodding his head, it's because he's into you!
- A good sign that someone is interested is talking to you a lot, even not paying attention to others.
- Enjoy your life, when he is near or far away. Have fun on occasions and activities when you are alone: this is a very attractive feature.
- Don't change who you are for anyone and don't expect it from others.
- If his friends tease him when you're around, it's because he's in love.
- When asking if he likes you, prefer a time when no one is around.
- Don't stutter or grumble when you're together.
- Don't pull him away from his friends, this can be annoying. Make room for his other relationships too.
- Don't chase him in real life or online and don't check his cell phone every five minutes. “Whatever has to be, will be”, already said the old sage. Getting too close can make you tense.
- Prepare to hear a “no”. If he refuses your advances, you might not be a good match, but that doesn't mean you're not attractive.