Reconnecting with Old Friends: 12 Steps

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Reconnecting with Old Friends: 12 Steps
Reconnecting with Old Friends: 12 Steps

Sometimes we end up losing touch with good friends, but getting back together is an amazing experience, as it allows us to share a new phase of life with these dear people. Finding them and taking the initiative to restore the relationship can be intimidating and daunting, but it's entirely possible. Start by looking for the person and getting in touch with them, and then work on rebuilding the friendship. Keep in mind that not all old friends will want to get back in touch, so keep expectations in check. Try to determine why you want to talk to this friend again before you take the first step toward finding him again.


Part 1 of 3: Finding old friends

Contact Old Friends Step 1

Step 1. Use social media

These days, almost everyone has a profile on at least one social network, and you have a good chance of finding an old friend on platforms like Facebook and Instagram. Typing his name in the search area of ​​the site can be an easy way to find him.

Some people have private accounts on social media, meaning not everyone can view these profiles. Either way, you'll still be able to send a message or friend request

Contact Old Friends Step 2

Step 2. Contact the high school or college alumni association

She can help you find a former high school or college classmate, as long as he is also part of the organization. Become a member of the alumni association to gain access to that person's contact information.

  • Visit the school's website and look for a link to the association, or call the office and ask for information.
  • Alumni organizations often hold regular get-togethers that will allow you to review former classmates and find the friend you are looking for, as well as reconnecting with so many other people you may also have lost contact with.
Contact Old Friends Step 3

Step 3. Talk to other acquaintances

Some people you know may keep in touch with your old friend, so look for mutual friends on social media for help. You can also request contact information from other people who have a connection with you, even if they are not your friends.

Use social media or search engines to find mutual friends or family members of the person you are looking for. Introduce yourself and make it very clear who you are -- otherwise, these contacts might be afraid to give out information about your old friend

Contact Old Friends Step 4

Step 4. Use a website to find people

There are a few pages on the internet that can help you get in touch with old friends, and they tend to be a little more useful than traditional search engines as they offer more accurate results and more specific information. Free sites are helpful, but paid versions often provide more contact information.

For example, try using some free sites like, and to find this friend, or pay to use and to increase your chances of getting useful information. Some of these sites are in English, but people all over the world can use them. In addition, a national alternative is Achar People, which has several resources and information

Part 2 of 3: Getting in Touch

Contact Old Friends Step 5

Step 1. Send a message through social media

This initiative is often welcome among people who haven't seen each other for a while - it doesn't force your old friend to talk, and gives him a chance to think about the message he's received, as well as time for him to come up with a response.

Contacting through social media will also allow the person to take a look at your profile, which will help them to find out about your current life and to understand who you are if you have difficulty remembering

Contact Old Friends Step 6

Step 2. Send an email

Write a quick, casual message if you can find this friend's email address. Like social media, email will allow them to think about what they're going to say and decide whether or not they want to get back together. A phone conversation could put pressure on the person to say yes, even if they are not really interested in talking to you again.

  • In the email, you could say something like "Hi! Hope you're okay, it's been so long! I've been thinking about how much fun we had together, and it would be nice if we had a chance to get back together someday."
  • In addition to giving the person the opportunity to respond if they want, this type of message is also quite casual and innocent, so it may make your old friend more willing to accept the invitation.
Contact Old Friends Step 7

Step 3. Send a text message

People don't usually spend a lot of time away from the phone, and texting is one of the most popular forms of communication today. Be brief, casual, and don't put too much pressure on the other person.

The message could say "Hi! How are you? We should have dinner sometime!"

Contact Old Friends Step 8

Step 4. Phone

Use the phone if you cannot use any other method, or if you feel more comfortable doing so. This type of contact can help you create a deeper connection as the phone is more personal. The person may be happy with the call and your initiative to contact you in this way.

Leave a voice message if the call goes to voicemail. People often check who called, especially when they don't recognize a number

Part 3 of 3: Cultivating the New Friendship

Contact Old Friends Step 9

Step 1. Make plans

Ending the conversation with the simple suggestion that you do “something together someday” may go nowhere, so suggest concrete plans to prevent this from happening. Think about activities that everyone likes to do, not just specific things that you find fun.

For example, invite the person to dinner or coffee, or suggest that the two of you take the kids to the park, take a walk, or watch a movie at the cinema

Contact Old Friends Step 10

Step 2. Ask questions

Showing interest in an old friend can rekindle the connection, so don't spend all your time talking about yourself. Give the other person an opportunity to talk about their life and ask what they've done all these years. Ask about her family, other friends, or past hobbies.

However, avoid sensitive subjects like politics, religion or sex. You want to convey an image that is friendly and trustworthy, not scary

Contact Old Friends Step 11

Step 3. Develop a connection

After going out with your old friend once, keep in touch and build a trusting relationship to cultivate the friendship. Do this by texting or calling after a few days. If the person doesn't respond or doesn't call you back after a while, they may not be interested in continuing the friendship.

Offer to help rebuild the friendship. Offer to babysit his kids, solve a problem, or cook dinner -- it could all show that you want to be friends with this old acquaintance. Kindness gestures will show a genuine interest in resuming friendship

Contact Old Friends Step 12

Step 4. Respect her decision

Perhaps the person is not ready to resume the relationship or is at a time in their life that does not allow for a friendship, or perhaps some past event has made them unable to trust you. Regardless of the reason, the best thing to do is accept the decision and move on. Cultivate realistic expectations so you don't get so disappointed if things don't work out.

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