A friendship can end for any number of reasons. Sometimes people fail to get along with each other, and in other cases, the alienation is natural. This can happen to you, no matter how hard you do your best for certain friends (who may not be willing to continue the relationship). These moments are sad, but they happen to anyone. In the end, remember: you are quite capable of surviving and moving on!
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Overcoming the person
Step 1. Allow yourself to live through this period of sadness
Losing friends can be very painful, and pretending it didn't happen or blocking the pain makes the process of getting over it difficult (although it sounds interesting in the short term). Recognize that you've lost something important and that it's okay to be hurt.
- Don't be afraid to cry as this is how we release emotions.
- You can listen to sad music or watch drama movies to understand that you're not the only person who goes through things like this - and that there's hope for your future.
Step 2. Delete old and related messages
Don't keep this type of content, as you'll be tempted to reread it when you're sad and thus prolong the feeling of loneliness and hurt at the end of the friendship.
If you like, save copies of the files on USB drives and give them to a friend or relative. It may be that, in the near future, you will no longer feel bad reading this content (which represents a time when you had a solid friendship with the person)
Step 3. Delete the person from your social media profiles
If you see posts from your friends without your company, you may brood over the past and ignore the future. If you're not exposed to certain posts on Facebook, you'll recover in less time.
Step 4. Get rid of photos
You can even throw them away, although you don't have to. Take away anything that brings back memories of your ex-friend, such as gifts.
Step 5. Record your feelings on a piece of paper
This is a great strategy for processing your feelings. You may wonder what you did wrong or get angry at some friends; if so, write them a letter (which you won't get to send, of course) where you discuss your emotions. When finished, tear it up or store it in a drawer. The purpose of the activity is to help you process what you feel.
Step 6. Don't blame yourself
Don't think that the relationship ended because of the way you are. This ending can have several explanations and, even if you think it had something to do with the problem, remember: friendships are two-way streets and you can't control people.
Part 2 of 3: Seeking Help
Step 1. See a therapist
If you really can't get over the problem on your own, try calling a professional. He'll hear your side of the story and what went wrong in the friendship to help you learn from past mistakes.
Step 2. Call a close relative
When friends themselves are the problem, you can turn to family. If possible, contact someone who has been through something similar in the past - perhaps one of your parents or grandparents, who have more life experience, although any family member can be quite comforting.
Step 3. Talk to friends who don't know the person who walked away from you
They can hear your outburst and have objective perspectives on the situation. Say how grateful you are for the support, and remember that even though you have lost a friendship, there are still good people in your life.
Step 4. Beware of opening up to mutual friends with the person in question
They may not be the best listeners for your outburst if you want to process what happened. After all, they know their ex-friend and are going to find themselves in a dead end. What's more, you'll also run the risk of pushing them away if you seem to be trying to convince them to take sides. Either way, you can still count on them if you need company. Don't forget the people you care about.
- Avoid talking about your ex-friend.
- Give more importance to commonalities with your remaining friends.
Step 5. Don't badmouth your ex-friend
It can be very bad to get the news that someone close to you no longer wants your company. Still, resist the temptation to speak ill of her or tarnish her reputation. When the anger wears off, you may even find that you can still salvage the friendship and get back together in close ties (even after something of this magnitude). Don't make your circumstances worse and hurt your chances of fixing the problem because you wanted to talk bad about someone behind their back.
Part 3 of 3: Moving Forward
Step 1. Don't think you won't make new friends
People come and go in our lives, and it turns out that that particular friendship may just be over. Think that you now have a "slot" in your heart to fill with new and closer people.
Step 2. Be grateful for what you have
When they go through this kind of breakup, many people focus on the negative parts of life. Think about the things you're proud of and make a list of the people you still have around, the skills you care about, the groups you're in, or the tasks you enjoy doing. Leave it in your wallet or purse, or stick it on your desk, leaving it on display when you're sad.
Step 3. Leave the house if you feel very sad
It's no use being isolated and dwelling on the problem, as you'll have more difficulty overcoming it. Take a walk or go to the gym or a place where you can be close to other people, such as a bookstore, library or concert.
Step 4. Enroll in a course
Finding a new hobby can help attract new friends and be a good distraction, keeping you busy. Yoga classes or meditation groups, for example, are great at these times. Also consider cooking courses, dancing lessons or learning to play an instrument.
Step 5. Do interesting things and don't let the end of friendship get in the way of your life
Dedicate yourself to what brings you joy: read, play video games, go out with friends, play an instrument, etc. Stay busy.
Step 6. Be patient
You will need some time to recover from the end of friendship. As much as you are feeling very lonely and depressed, remember this will not last forever, and as long as you take good care of yourself, you will find the strength to move on.