Making friends can be a bit difficult for someone who has changed schools or has a more restrained and shy personality. Luckily, the problem doesn't have to be big: you just try to find people with interests similar to yours and be nice to everyone. Plus, participate in extracurricular events and activities to get even more used to the new environment!
Part 1 of 4: Identifying Some Possible Candidates
Step 1. Try to find people with the same interests as you
It's easier to make friends with people we have something in common with. Try to find people (alone or in groups) who also enjoy the things you enjoy, especially in their free time.
- For example: if you like to draw, start taking drawing classes, participating in festivals or even pay attention to who is also doodling in the notebook during class.
- If you like to read, start going to the school library, participate more in the literature class or start a conversation with students who walk around with books in their hands.
- Ask teachers and other seniors at school for socializing tips.
Step 2. Approach people who seem nice
It's better to make friends with educated people than with people who are just popular. Don't waste your time with those who speak ill of others. Reach out to the right colleagues at break times, when it's time to do group work, and when someone needs help.
- You have to make friends with people you feel comfortable with, not bad.
- You might even want to make friends with some popular people, but it's no use if those people just know how to badmouth others.
- Every friendship is based on mutual feelings of support and respect.
Step 3. Meet your friends' friends
If you already have a few friends but want to expand your social circle, try to reach out to more people they know - in your everyday life, at school or even on weekends. Any interaction, no matter how informal, is very welcome.
- For example, you can schedule to go to the mall with this group once a week. The more people there are, the better. Create habits like this until you feel more comfortable.
- You can also participate in group events such as sports matches or even study groups.
social tip: remember that a person can have many friends! Don't be jealous if you're not the center of attention. Take the opportunity to make friends with even more people.
Step 4. Try to find groups that look open
Making eye contact is essential in social interactions, but you can also tell a lot about a person by looking at their foot posture. Studies indicate that groups that are in circles and point the fingers forward are more closed, while those that point outwards slightly are more receptive.
It sounds silly, but take a test the next time you see a group of friends at school, at a party, or at another event or place
Step 5. Start joining sports teams to interact with more people
You can also think of more "radical" ways to make friends, such as teams and sporting events. Many schools offer these opportunities to physical education students. Find out what you can do in yours.
You don't have to be that good at the sport from the start. Just join the team and start training to become more skillful little by little. The purpose of these interactions is to encourage good social interaction and exercise and make friends
Step 6. Participate in social events such as culture festivals and school parties
Schools often hold special events where students can interact outside of the classroom. Enjoy everything - after all, the more you open up to the possibilities, the easier it will be to meet calm people.
- These events include culture festivals, ice cream festivals, June party, Children's Day party, etc.
- Some schools also have competitions and even Olympics, which students can participate in as athletes or fans (which is just as important as playing).
- Invite someone from your class to attend the event with you. Think of a classmate who looks nice and say "Hi Matheus. I'm going to the football game tonight… Do you want to come along?" Even if the person is busy at this time, they will remember your invitation and will, of course, return it in the future.
Step 7. Don't be too closed, even if you feel lonely
Without realizing it, many people who have difficulty making friends end up creating a bubble around them. So when you're walking around school, keep your head up, smile at people, and make constant eye contact.
- You don't need to spend time talking to people you don't even know. Just say something simple like "How are you?" or "I enjoyed your presentation!" when meeting a colleague.
- If you can't interact with people because you're always busy, try changing your routine a little. For example: arrive early to class, circulate more in the courtyard during breaks, etc.
Step 8. Save your phone and live the real world
Social media is quite distracting, but adding someone to Facebook is not the same as meeting someone in person. Make friends with people in the real world, without getting stuck on your cell phone, to show that you are friendly and receptive.
- You can give the impression that you are not sociable if you walk around wearing a headset all the time. Keep them away from time to time.
- Don't waste time following celebrities on Instagram without remembering to live life!
Part 2 of 4: Forming Friendships
Step 1. Introduce yourself to people whenever possible
It's normal to be quiet and shy around strangers. On the other hand, you and these people can be more comfortable introducing themselves to each other. Make eye contact, smile and try to appear relaxed and receptive, not nervous or anxious. Finally, talk about what's happening to break the ice.
- For example, if there is music playing in the background, say "I love this song. How about you? By the way, my name is Junior!"
- At break time, drop a random "What a nice drumstick" when you're eating next to someone.
Tip: Make positive comments to make a good impression.
Step 2. Join chat groups to meet several people at once
When there are more people around, try to think of ways to introduce yourself. Don't "steal" the focus of the conversation for yourself, but make some natural, positive comments about it - always trying to overcome shyness.
- This breaks a branch when we are in work groups with students who already know each other, for example.
- Ask the entire group questions, not specific people. For example, if the group is talking about a movie that is about to open in the cinema, say something like "I love this movie. Do you all plan to see it?"
Step 3. Praise someone as a way to break the ice
Everyone likes to be complimented, and giving compliments is a nice way to show sympathy. Start talking to a colleague already talking about his style! Name an item of clothing, hair or other such detail.
If you see someone wearing a T-shirt of your favorite band, say "What a cool shirt! I went to their concert last year."
Step 4. Ask open-ended questions to get the conversation going
When you start talking to someone, try asking open-ended questions to see if you have something in common. Closed questions (of "yes" or "no") make the dialogue die quickly. Talk about specific subjects and change the focus when it seems appropriate.
- For example, if you started by talking about the song you're playing, say something like "What other bands do you like?"
- Say something like "I'm new here. Do you have any survival tips?"
Step 5. Exchange contact information with people who seem nice
If it looks like you have things in common with a person, say you'd like to go out with them more often. Ask for WhatsApp and her social media and try to create a real friendship bond, instead of just having sporadic conversations over the internet.
- Send message to invite the person out once in a while. Just don't overdo the frequency, especially at the beginning.
- Call the person when you get to a more personal level. Sending messages is casual, but calling is reserved for special occasions, like birthdays or when the person gets sick and doesn't go to class.
Step 6. Invite people out
Once you discover that you have similar interests with someone else, ask if they would like to do something with you. Think of a fun activity for everyone involved, as well as a time and place.
- For example, if you like the arts, you and the person can go to a gallery, a museum, a theater show or a concert.
- Invite this new friend to go see a movie that has premiered in cinema. If possible, arrange everything in advance so that you have time to talk to the person - such as eating before the movie, for example.
Part 3 of 4: Being nice
Step 1. Smile whenever you make eye contact with people
Smiling is a universal invitation, as it shows when a person is friendly and positive. When you're in class or walking around school and you make eye contact with someone, crack a smile and look away after a while.
Smile for a second or two while making eye contact. Don't take too long, or things will get weird
Step 2. Do not cross your arms and legs when you are with other people
These closed body language signals give the impression that the person is obnoxious. Therefore, uncross your arms and legs.
- Also, always walk with your head up and make constant eye contact with people when talking to them.
- Wear lighter colored clothing. Not only will you look nicer, you'll also improve your mood.
Step 3. Be a kind and positive friend
Always be available to people. It doesn't mean you have to be other people's doormats, but friendship is a two-way street. Try to give as much as you get.
- Treat people the way you would like to be treated in order to cultivate lasting and sincere loving relationships.
- Support your friends. Show that you believe in them in every aspect of life.
Step 4. Give people space
Remember that everyone, even our friends, has a life of their own. Don't be short of time and attention. Always be around when someone needs it, but don't be offended if the person is unavailable at your time.
For example, if you text a friend, but they only reply with an "Ok", they may be busy or in a bad mood. Try talking to him again after a few days and see if anything changes
Step 5. Take action instead of waiting
Almost everyone is a bit wary of starting a conversation with strangers. If someone seems shy around you, take the first step and get close.
The person will likely enjoy your initiative
Part 4 of 4: Understanding Why You Don't Take More Action
Step 1. Make time for friends
This is very important, even if you are busy. Make time for the people who are important in your life and don't count on coincidences or unscheduled encounters.
For example, you might even have an important exam coming up, but choose a day a week to take a break from studying and go to a movie with a friend. Leave to review the content before and after. This not only improves the bonds of friendship, it also relaxes the body and mind
Step 2. Learn to overcome your fear of being rejected
This is one of the main obstacles for those who want to make friends. Try not to take it personally if someone refuses your company - it doesn't always happen. Keep being sociable and friendly and, in time, things will work out.
- Maybe the person is having a personal problem and can't be nice.
- Understand that rejection is the person's problem, not yours.
Step 3. Develop your self-esteem
Low self-esteem manifests itself in the form of antisocial behavior and lack of communication. You can become more and more reclusive if you feel that you are giving the impression that you are strangers to people. So get rid of your negative thoughts and don't be too rigid.
- People probably have the same problems as you and aren't caring so much about your behavior-after all, they care about their own lives.
- Don't try to be perfect. This is not synonymous with a good friend.
- Focus on the good things in your life and stop comparing yourself to others.
- Unfortunately, you can't be friends with everyone. Don't push the envelope if it seems difficult to maintain a friendship. There is always someone else willing to listen to us.
- Cultivate trust, keep secrets and understand that people also keep ours when they are true friends.
- Never lie to your friends.
- Don't worry about not being able to make friends so quickly. Many sincere relationships take a while to develop.