When you lend something to a friend, the item is not always returned, either for forgetfulness or because the person is entitled to keep the “gift”. Many people are embarrassed to ask back what they lent because they don't like this confrontational situation, or because they are afraid of ending up losing the friendship. To minimize stress and get your belongings back, put the tips in this article into practice.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Requesting the Object Back
Step 1. Be direct
The article is yours and there's no reason to be afraid to ask for it back. Even if your friend has had the product for a long time, say, "When you come to my house next week, bring that X-Men video game you have with you." With that kind of approach, whether out of shame or duty, he'll take it.
Step 2. Ask about the item
The question makes the approach not sound like a confrontation, but like your uncertainty of wanting to know if you're really with him. The questioning will also make the guy more confident in the answer, as if he had the decision to return it. To ask:
- “Have you finished reading those Twilight Saga books? When you're done, I need them back”;
- “I'm looking for my blue cap. Is it still with you?”;
- "Can you give me back the Roblox game that's in your house?"
Step 3. Send a message asking about the object
The good thing about text messaging is that it's less personal and you can be direct without having to confront the person face-to-face. The method, however, can leave room for different interpretations, so it is important to be careful with words.
- Through Facebook, you can send a private message to let your colleague know you need their belonging.
- Send him a brief and direct email, without too much extravagance, just asking him to return the article he has with him.
- Forward a text message. Order the product back and complete the message with a smiley face so you don't look too harsh.
Step 4. Touch the subject whenever you get the chance
When you're talking to the guy and you have a loophole, ask about the item he has. He will get the hint, especially if the subject is not directly related to the artifact.
Method 2 of 3: Taking a Good Mood
Step 1. Expose the boy in a playful tone
Lightly embarrassing the person may be enough to provoke a reaction. If subtlety doesn't work, be direct.
Leave a post on his Facebook. Also jokingly, leave a message on the social network and call other friends to join the wave. Make a montage in an image editor with the product photo and the message “Missing”
Step 2. Play around saying you're going to call his mother
There is nothing worse than maternal pressure. If she decides to tell her, ask her not to be too strict with her friend.
Step 3. Borrow
Technically you're not borrowing, as the object is yours, but if it's to be taken away, beg: “I can borrow it, please? I really need him! I always wanted to have one!”.
Step 4. Abuse of sarcasm
The target's shame is less when the charge comes in the form of irony. Find a way to ask for your belongings back, but in a good mood.
- "My book has been with you for so long that I'm afraid I won't be able to read what's written in it anymore."
- "When you decide to return my shirt, it will be out of style."
- "Finally, how many times have you managed to reset that video game of mine that is in your house?"
- "You try so hard that you borrowed the movie, I can't even remember if it's on DVD or VHS anymore."
Method 3 of 3: Acting Recklessly
Step 1. Visit your friend
Like someone who wants nothing, go to his house as if it were a totally unpretentious visit. Eventually, mention the borrowed article or something related to it.
- A movie: “Remember that dance scene in Karate Kid?”;
- A tool: “I need to fix my shower, otherwise I can't take a shower anymore”;
- A piece of clothing: "I'm looking for a denim jacket to complement my look and not go cold on the plane trip."
Step 2. Mention the item during the conversation
When you notice the object in the room, close enough to be able to pick it up, say that you had one like it and that you liked it a lot.
Step 3. Pretend you forgot it at his house
When you find your belongings, say “Whoa, I think this one is mine! When did I leave it here?”. Playing a misunderstanding is the best way to handle this kind of situation, because the guy won't deny that it's your article. It's likely that he will confirm that you left it there by way of oblivion.
Tips
- Put your name on all your belongings, either with a permanent pen or a tag.
- In the future, take the initiative to set a deadline when lending anything to anyone. Even if the person needs to keep the product for a longer time, at least they are aware that you are waiting for the return.
- Understand that people interpret things differently. Some don't take cues, while others don't respond well to confrontations. Use the best approach according to each individual's personality.
- Do not make accusations unless that is the only way to get the item back. It's very difficult to prove that the object is with the guy, and you could end up losing the friend in the middle of this mess.
- Analyze if the item is worth more than friendship. Material things can be replaced, a good friend cannot. If you like the boy, it's better to forget his belongings and keep the good relationship of friendship.
- Whenever you borrow something, take a photo so you don't forget.