When you become a teenager, the way you make new friends changes. This is true in any situation: for introverted people, for those who change schools or even for those who don't know how to communicate well with others - and, to change this situation, it is necessary to develop some essential social skills. First, you need to choose compatible friends. Then all you have to do is get to know them and cultivate a firm relationship.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Identifying Potential Friends
Step 1. Observe people in your classroom
Classes may not be that interesting, but they are the perfect occasions to make new friends. One of the benefits of being a teenager is going to school, where there are hundreds of potential friends. Your classmates are similar in age to you and, at the very least, you take the same subjects. Keep an eye out and see if you find someone interesting or friendly.
You can create a study group for a particular subject. As you study and share knowledge, you may find that you have more in common with people in this group
Step 2. Try to get to know the teenagers who live in your area
Outside of school, you can explore the community where you live. Go to places frequented by young people (such as parks, clubs, etc.) or volunteer. You can even try to get a part-time job at a nearby store.
For example, if you decide to try working at the local cinema, you will probably meet a lot of new people who frequent the place
Step 3. Do extracurricular activities
Many schools offer a variety of activities to their students. Take advantage of this opportunity and choose something that interests you. You will probably find other young people who like the same thing.
If you're interested in music, join a band or choir (if you have those options); if you like sports, join the football team, handball etc. These groups are great for those who want to make friends
Step 4. Participate in public and related events in your area
Outside of school, many communities offer events and other social occasions. Take advantage of these opportunities to try to meet new people, especially if you are on vacation from school and/or part-time work.
For example, if there is an open market in your area, visit as often as possible to meet new people
Part 2 of 3: Approaching People
Step 1. Be careful with your body language
Your gestures and movements say a lot about your intentions. They can, for example, show that you want to be alone; if you're nervous or uncomfortable, you can end up giving the impression that you don't feel like talking to anyone-which will put your potential friends down.
- For example, if you cross your legs or arms when sitting down, you will give the impression that you don't want to talk.
- Smile at people to show that you are listening to them and that you are open to conversation.
Step 2. Observe people's body language
The issue of gestures and movements is also valid for others and can make it clear what they are feeling. If they seem closed off and isolated, they may be having a rough day and want to be alone; if they're smiling and light, maybe it's easier to approach them. Pay attention to these details to avoid uncomfortable situations.
- For example, if someone is sitting alone with their arms crossed, they might not want to be disturbed.
- If someone smiles at you, they might be interested in talking.
Step 3. Make eye contact
This is very important for anyone who wants to talk. If you stare at the person and they look away, maybe they're busy or not interested. On the other hand, if she returns the gesture, feel free to say something.
For example, if you make eye contact with a person for a few seconds, reach out to shake your hand and say "Hi, I'm so-and-so."
Step 4. Praise people
Everyone likes to receive compliments. If you have trouble starting a conversation with others, say good things, even if you don't know them - and without necessarily stopping to try to talk. Say something like:
- "I love your shoes!"
- "What a beautiful hair!".
- "What a cute dog!"
Step 5. Ask questions
When you want to strike up a conversation with someone, you can use your doubts to encourage the person to talk, especially if you give them compliments that are related to the situation.
For example: say something like "What a beautiful hair! Where do you cut it?"
Step 6. Make appropriate comments
It is very normal to live social situations with strangers. If you want to start a conversation with someone, make a comment - after all, you have at least one thing in common: you are in the same place.
- Say something like "I didn't know they play music here".
- Ask questions such as "So, what are you doing here today?"
Step 7. Understand that it is normal to be insecure
You're not the only person who gets nervous when talking to strangers: it happens to almost everyone. Understand this and hopefully create the courage to make new friends.
Part 3 of 3: Cultivating Friendship Bonds
Step 1. Spend time with your friends
To really get close to a person after introducing yourself, you need to spend time with them. Try to set up appointments and other appointments so they always stay in touch.
For example, you and your new friends can always agree to go out to eat on Saturdays
Step 2. Be a good listener
Every friendship is a two-way street. Listen to your friends if you want to maintain the relationship: make eye contact when someone speaks, confirm that you're paying attention (nodding your head every now and then, for example) and don't interrupt whoever has the floor.
For example, if your friend is talking about something that happened at school the day before, make eye contact with him without looking at his cell phone screen
Step 3. Communicate assertively
To maintain your friendships, you also need to make yourself heard. So, be assertive, but not aggressive: make your opinions clear (about which movie you should see in the cinema, for example), but without disrespecting anyone.
For example, you don't have to say that the movie your friends want to see is "stupid" just because you'd rather watch another one
Step 4. Share personal ideas and experiences
Every friendship is based on bonds of closeness and affection. To develop them, you can share experiences - but without overdoing it at first. Before you open up so much, find out if the person is trustworthy and willing to listen.
For example, you can talk about your family problems with someone you've known for a long time, but perhaps you should wait before revealing too much personal details to new friends
Step 5. Keep your friends' secrets
When they reveal personal information, keep it to yourself. If you tell others, you will betray their trust - and perhaps even ruin the relationship in the future.
This rule has one exception: when a friend tells you that he intends to hurt himself or someone else. In that case, seek help for him
Step 6. Be open-minded
You and your friends will end up disagreeing on some points. When this happens, remember that this is normal and that everyone there respects each other. Even if they have different opinions, never try to belittle points of view that differ from yours.
- For example, if you find out that a friend doesn't like the same type of music as you, respect that disagreement. If you belittle his taste, it could even ruin the relationship.
- Don't be afraid to try the different things your friends like. You might even like them too!
Step 7. Be present in your friends' lives
Availability is one of the most important parts of any friendship. If a friend needs to talk or vent about something, try to be there - and expect the same treatment.