Determining whether you are in love with a friend can be a very confusing and complicated experience, so try to assess your emotions and reflect on what attracts you to that person. Close family and friends can also help you understand what's going on. Watch out for telltale clues, like feeling jealous of the person, thinking about them all the time, and viewing their annoying habits as cute and lovable quirks. Imagine inviting this friend on a date, maintaining closer physical contact, and dating him-these visualizations will help you analyze your own feelings and decide whether it's worth putting the friendship at risk in the name of a potential relationship.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Analyzing Feelings
Step 1. Ask yourself if you just want to date someone, regardless of who they are
Be honest with yourself and consider whether a boyfriend's desire for attention and affection isn't the real cause of your feelings - we often have difficulty identifying genuine loving feelings, and loneliness and seeking affirmation are perfectly normal emotions.
Ask yourself if your feelings are really focused on that particular individual - can you imagine her as your partner, and you can only imagine yourself with her and no one else?
Step 2. Reflect on the type of attraction
We make friends with people we're attracted to, but that attraction isn't physical or romantic.
- Ask yourself if you just enjoy the person's company, or if you'd like to build a deeper emotional bond with them. If you want a deeper connection, is that feeling consistent or intermittent?
- If you feel physically attracted to her, determine if the attraction is subjective or objective - do you think your friend is handsome? Feel like kissing and hugging him? Or your opinion is more vague, like "I understand why a lot of girls might want to be with him."
Step 3. Talk to someone you trust
Ask how your loved ones feel when they are in love with someone, and try to use their perspectives on love and romance to reflect on your own situation. Notice if your feelings have anything to do with the words these people use to describe the feeling of liking someone.
You could also ask your parents or siblings for advice
Method 2 of 3: Detecting Telltale Clues
Step 1. Notice if your mood changes in the person's company
If your world immediately becomes more colorful and your heart fills with joy when this friend enters the room, you probably have romantic feelings for him. A jumble of emotions is also another sign of passion - just thinking about the other makes you feel excited, anxious, nervous, homesick and butterflies in your stomach all at the same time.
- If you feel very confused, try to clear your mind and reflect on your emotions. Imagine your heart as a pizza where each slice represents a different feeling - now identify each slice.
- Trust your own intuition if you're still in doubt. When a person has a significant effect on our mood and feelings, and that impact is far greater than that caused by other close friends, there is a good chance that we are in love.
Step 2. Watch for jealousy
This is a clear sign that we want something more than friendship - do you feel possessiveness, anger or sadness when you see your friend flirting with someone? Do you have a certain resentment of his girlfriend, even if unconsciously?
Step 3. Monitor how much time you spend with him
Spending as much time with someone as possible is a big sign of passion - if you prefer to be alone with someone rather than hanging out with a group of friends, that's an even stronger sign.
When you're together at a party or group of friends, do you try to get away so that you can spend some time alone with the person?
Step 4. Assess how often you think about the other person
If every little detail of everyday life refers to your friend, that's a good sign of passion - stay tuned to your thoughts and notice how often you think about what the other person should be doing right now, visualize their hair or some other detail on their body, or feel like calling or texting her.
Step 5. Notice if you tend to ignore his faults
Putting your loved one on a pedestal and idealizing them is a normal aspect of romantic attraction - maybe your other friends always make fun of you because they're too clumsy or always late, but you take these traits as the cutest quirks in the world.
Method 3 of 3: Practicing Visualization Exercises
Step 1. Relax and clear your mind
Sit in a quiet environment, free from distractions, and try to focus on your own feelings - be honest with yourself and listen to your instincts as you visualize each hypothetical scenario.
Step 2. Imagine declaring your feelings to the other person
Think about how you would approach the subject, imagining what you would say, your level of nervousness, and your friend's reaction.
- If the very thought of a statement makes you nervous enough, chances are you're in love.
- Think about how the statement would affect the friendship - even if you're in love with the other person, you should still consider whether friendship is more important than getting those feelings off your chest.
Step 3. Imagine yourself on a date with him
How would these times be different from the times you already spend together? Have you ever imagined or wished for a romantic date with the person, instead of simply wanting to spend time with them as good friends? If so, your feelings are definitely more intense than a simple friendship.
- Compare the pros and cons to try to decide whether it would be worth putting the friendship at risk in the name of a potential dating relationship. Even if you are in love, you may prefer to forget about these feelings if you believe that a romantic relationship will not be as satisfying as the current bond of friendship.
- On the other hand, if the idea of dating seems incredibly better than a simple friendship with the person, it might be worth taking the risk for a long-lasting romantic relationship.
Step 4. Imagine having some intimate contact with him
If you haven't already thought about it, imagine kissing, hugging and having other types of physical contact with your friend - are you sexually attracted to him? Do you also feel an emotional connection? Does everything seem perfect, or is the situation too awkward?
It's normal to feel physical attraction without having any romantic feelings for anyone-when imagining physical intimacy, try to determine whether you just find your friend attractive, or whether this intimate contact would involve a deeper emotional connection
Step 5. Imagine your friend breaking up
No one likes to get dumped, but imagine how you would feel in that situation. Could you two resume friendship, as if nothing had happened? If you have deeper feelings for the other person, would that person still be a part of your life after a possible breakup?