How to Act When the Boy You and Your Friend Like Takes an Interest in You

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How to Act When the Boy You and Your Friend Like Takes an Interest in You
How to Act When the Boy You and Your Friend Like Takes an Interest in You
Anonim

One of the characteristics of intimate friendships is sharing the same tastes in TV series, music, football teams, clothing and, why not mention, the type of person we are attracted to. It's frustrating to like the same guy as your friend, especially if he prefers her. However, when you are chosen it is even more uncomfortable. Luckily, there are some tricks to get out of that tight skirt!

Steps

Part 1 of 3: Chatting with your friend

Communicate Effectively Step 25

Step 1. Be honest

The situation is difficult and intimidating, but you need to open up. If you really like this boy and he has hinted or declared that he is reciprocated, your friend will find out sooner or later. As the saying goes, “Truth hurts, but lies get infected”; With that in mind, remember that she may be sad at first, but it will be much worse for your relationship if you lie to her.

This is even more important if she is a close friend who knows you better than anyone else. Starting a relationship with the guy behind her back will offend her and make her even more resentful

Control Your Subconscious Mind Step 6

Step 2. Put yourself in your friend's shoes

The feeling of being reciprocated by a passion is fantastic, but being rejected causes just as intense frustration. So, remember that she is likely to feel quite negative emotions, so don't rub your happiness in her face.

Of course, talking about the boy will be unavoidable when they're together, but that shouldn't be the only topic of conversation. What's more, this is a sensitive topic that can hurt you even more every time it's brought up

Get a Friend Back Step 7

Step 3. Say what you want to do

It is important to think about this before taking any action, remembering that the decision is yours alone. One idea is to say that you really like him and want to give this relationship a chance, but only if she agrees. Show that you don't want to lose their friendship.

  • Reflect on both the positive and negative consequences before taking action. Anticipate how this relationship will affect your friendship and whether this guy is worth it; do you like him to the point of taking that risk? Another aspect that must be considered is whether you intend to have a serious relationship or just an adventure. Also, think about your friend's personality. Is she spiteful? Will she see this as an unforgivable betrayal, or is she more likely to be sad for a while and then get back to normal? Keep all this information in mind before making a decision, to have a clearer and more objective conversation.
  • On the other hand, if you decide that you will only stay with him if your friend consents, you will have to keep your word and that could rock your friendship in the same way.
  • In the end, life is yours. You might as well keep it without relying on her approval. But, like any attitude, this will have consequences.
  • It is possible to date the boy without this approval and continue to care for your friend. Say “You are my best friend and I love you, but I am madly in love with So-and-so. I won't let this relationship interfere with our friendship and I hope you'll forgive me and be able to be happy for me one day.”
Be Mature Step 20

Step 4. Respect your friend's feelings

She might be angry, sad, or jealous, but she's still your friend. Your role is to be caring and considerate of her, even if you don't change your plans based on how she feels. You don't have to accept everything she says. The fact that the boy prefers you probably makes her resent it; being honest and kind while she recovers from this rejection is the best you can do.

This is even more important if your friendship is solid and lasting. The guy in question may be great, but so is she. You tend to want to have a relationship with both of them, but be careful not to neglect your friend because of it

Part 2 of 3: Talking to the boy

Love Your Girlfriend Step 18

Step 1. Tell him how you feel

Now that you've talked to your friend about how you feel, it's time to talk to the guy. This can break the subtlety of flirting, but this is a case in point, requiring tact from everyone involved. Having an open conversation is the best way to ensure his level of involvement. For example, if you find out he's hooking up with another girl too, you don't need to risk your friendship for nothing.

Only after you know that you are both interested in a relationship can you decide what to do

Love Your Girlfriend Step 6

Step 2. Be discreet about your friend

In other words, don't keep talking about her to the boy. If she likes him, she's probably hurt, but that doesn't interest him. Talk about your own feelings and keep your friend's privacy. If she finds out that you've opened up her secrets to a boy she likes and who has rejected her, you can kiss that friendship goodbye.

  • The golden rule is: speak for yourself, about their feelings and desires. Don't speak for others.
Show a Woman That You Care Step 14

Step 3. Go slow

Allow time for things to happen if the feelings are serious and mutual. Let your friend get used to the idea of ​​your dating before you leave by changing your Facebook status and taking you to every party in the class. A cautious start can build a healthier and more stable relationship.

  • That's not to say that you should lie to your best friend about dating him, but rather give her time to get over the situation at her own pace.
  • If the guy doesn't understand or respect the fact that you need time to deal with all of this, it's a sign that he isn't all that and isn't all that worth it.

Part 3 of 3: Moving Forward with Dating

Be a Man Step 18

Step 1. Do what you need to do discreetly

Just because your friend approves of your relationship doesn't mean you should open up the relationship, walk hand in hand with the guy everywhere, and kiss him in front of her. Respect her, leave the cute couple nicknames for moments for two; if you want to call him “Delicious” and jump on his lap, do it when you're alone. Your friend definitely doesn't need to see this; in fact, none of your friends do. Be discreet in caresses and displays of affection.

Be Special Step 2

Step 2. Take care of your friendship

Don't abandon your friend to spend all your free time with your boyfriend. Of course, a new relationship is exciting and makes you want to spend all your time dating. However, remember that she is still your best friend, so show that you are still her best friend, too.

If she tries to push you away because she is hurt by your relationship, give her the necessary space but make it clear that you care

Cope With Stigma Step 38

Step 3. Wait for her to recover from the shock before talking about your relationship

The boy can send you flowers every day, write amazing love sonnets and make extremely romantic gestures. You will feel the greatest desire to share these things with your best friend, but don't. Wait until she's really over it, prefer not to say anything when the subject comes up. Talking too much about the boy will make her feel like you're showing off and can cause more resentment. Enjoy your happiness intimately and separate this relationship from your friendship; at least in the beginning.

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