Having longtime friends is a privilege. However, great friends also have a personal life and one day they get a girlfriend. When that happens, it's like one more person becomes part of the family. For better or worse, change is inevitable. Your friend might disappear, start doing new hobbies, and be interested in things he didn't give a damn about before. It's even possible for him to make new friends-from his girlfriend's social circle. As much as the situation is not so easy for you, be a good friend, support him in decisions and take everything in stride.
Part 1 of 3: Adjusting to the New Relationship
Step 1. Support dating
Swallow dry, sit on your ego and be happy that your friend is happy, too. Even if you don't look like your new girlfriend right away, keep your negative opinions to yourself and let the lovebirds get to know each other better.
- A simple way to go about this step is to say, "Dude, it looks like you and Tati get along great. As long as she doesn't screw up, I'm fully supportive!"
- The worst thing to do would be to pretend she doesn't exist or refuse to talk about it. If your friend likes her, your role is to support him openly.
Step 2. Meet the girl
Remember the reasons you like and trust your friend. It is very likely that he also knows how to choose a girl to date. You may or may not like her, but that has nothing to do with the fact that you need to support your friend.
- Hang out with the two of them once in a while to see what she looks like. Ask the girl where she grew up, what her hobbies and goals are, and what her family is like. Your friend will see that you are trying to get to know her better.
- You don't have to be friends with the girl to support their relationship with a smile on your face. Your role is to wish your friend the best, not choose what he should or shouldn't do.
Step 3. Out of consideration, try to be happy
Your role is to offer friendship, not therapy, protection and the like. The true friend wants the other to be happy. Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. The decisions, however, are up to each one.
Be honest with yourself. Does your friend really like his girlfriend? Are there any signs that she is a bad person? If the answers were, respectively, "yes" and "no", it is probably a good choice. Ask your friend questions about the relationship, invite the couple to events, and spend some time in their presence
Step 4. Keep negative opinions about your friend's girlfriend to yourself
Unless someone asks for your opinion, keep it to yourself. Is there something about the girl that you don't like? Keep your mouth shut to avoid disagreeing.
Be aware that it is possible that you may not like the girl because she actually makes your friend spend less time with you. Did you understand? Sometimes the problem is not with her. Don't let your emotions interfere with your judgment, nor give unsolicited advice
Part 2 of 3: Keeping the Friendship
Step 1. Appreciate the good times you have together
What matters is the quality, not the quantity of time. Don't be trying to get the same amount of attention as the girl. The important thing in friendships is to love and appreciate each other's presence in the moments you have together. The mere fact that your friend starts dating should not influence your relationship.
- It's not you he's dating. So it's no use wanting to receive the same amount of attention as her. If you keep insisting, it can end up affecting the friendship.
- Make it clear that you like it when you get your friend's attention. Say that you like it when you do things together, but don't push him or get bogged down. Have realistic expectations so you don't get frustrated.
Step 2. Be open to going out in a group or with a couple
Instead of vying for your friend's attention, see if you can go out with both of them. If you have a girlfriend, take her too. So you have the chance to talk to your best friend and see his joy in the cabin in the presence of his beloved. The closer you stay with the couple, the more secure you will feel about their relationship.
Even if you're still one foot behind, make a little effort. Your friend will welcome this. Look on the bright side: you enjoyed hanging out with your friend, even in her presence. It's better than nothing, isn't it?
Step 3. Suggest that just the two of you go out one day
If you're still a little suspicious of the girl, ask her out sometime to see what she looks like. Tell your friend you want to know hers and ask him if he thinks it's a good idea for the two of you to go out alone.
Take it to a casual place like a park, arcade or sporting event. When you date her together, you get to know her better and are less worried. After all, you want your best friend to be in safe hands
Step 4. Get used to listening to the ups and downs of the relationship
Supporting the friend in the relationship is essential for the conviviality. Because you don't like to hear much about the good, you may find yourself focusing on the negative. Don't fall for the rubbish of bad-mouthing the girl! Listen to what your friend says and let him direct the conversation.
Part 3 of 3: Overcoming Jealousy
Step 1. Ask yourself why you feel threatened that your friend is dating
In part, you may feel that way because the friendship isn't structured well. Romantic and family relationships are based on a structure and expectations for the future.
- Understand that all changes in friendship are part of the human experience. One day, the two of you will get married, found your families, and have less time for each other. That doesn't change the value of the good times you've been through.
- It can be difficult at first, as the couple will be focused on the future and you will feel a little out of place between them.
Step 2. Don't get a girlfriend on impulse
Now that your best friend is dating and you're single, you may be seized by the temptation to get a girlfriend too. Do not do this! It's not a competition. There is a time for everything under heaven.
It's normal to be jealous. What is unhealthy is to enter into any relationship to overcome emotions in relation to the friend. It's not because your best friend is dating that you need to be too
Step 3. Deeply understand how you feel about your friend
If the mere fact that your friend has a girlfriend made you jealous, it's a good idea to do a self-analysis and see if you happened to be interested in him romantically. It's not that uncommon for this to happen, and when it does, the situation is accentuated when a girl enters the scene. If that's the case, you've reached an impasse.
- Now, you need to decide whether to tell this detail to your friend or not. It's a risky thing to do, as it can make you think you just want to break up the couple and nothing else. Remember that feelings are fleeting and everything passes. So maybe it's time to keep them to yourself.
- A declaration of love between friends can cause drastic changes in the friendship. Don't act without thinking. Talk to someone you trust and think carefully about what you will do. It can be difficult for you to be around your friend if he is dating someone else.
Step 4. Be aware that your friend will spend more time with his girlfriend
The day is only 24 hours long and everyone is trying to organize their routine as best they can. Be prepared now, as your friend will no longer have so much time for you that you will need to act with maturity.
It is estimated that a relationship costs two friendships. This is because, suddenly, the person has less time for friends. If this friend is really important, be prepared to maintain the friendship by selling him a lot less
Step 5. Recognize that you don't need to compete for anyone's attention
As a friend, you play a different role than the girl does. No one is directly competing with anyone else. Remember that you were friends before and will continue to be - no matter how long your relationship lasts.
Step 6. Go out with other friends to balance the time
You spent a lot of time in each other's presence before, didn't you? Now he needs to split the time. Instead of freaking out, go for a walk and have fun with other friends and family, who are also valuable. Follow this tip to feel less rejected.