Everyone knows that having friends makes life more interesting and fulfilling. Still, sometimes it's hard to tell when we've gone from "acquaintances" to "friends" of someone. Learn to identify some signs to clear your doubts. Look for qualities like loyalty and trustworthiness and find out if the person likes your company and shows affection.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Finding out if the person is loyal and trustworthy
Step 1. Think about how you treat each other
Generally, friends are faithful: they don't do harmful things, so they don't hold back grievances from the past. As hard as it is to never disappoint an important person, betraying a friendship is more delicate.
If the person never talks about you behind your back, spreads rumors about you, and doesn't even do nasty things, it's because they're your friend
Step 2. Find out if the person keeps their secrets
Many friends exchange secrets and never reveal them to others. If you say something that no one else can know, your confidant has to be discreet.
Step 3. Determine if the person supports you in difficult times
Being able to count on the support of friends is one of the few positive things about ending a relationship, losing a loved one, or going through other unpleasant situations. If it's your real friend, that person shouldn't just be there in good times.
- Think of a difficult time in your life. Did you get the support you needed from the person?
- Real friends keep each other company in good times and bad, offering all the help they can. They are often true guardian angels and never think of pulling away when things get tense.
- Fake friends (or more distant people) only hang around when everything is fine. In many cases, they even have a typical reaction: thinking or saying that the problems of others are weighing heavily on their lives.
Step 4. Determine if the person is happy when you reach your goals and dreams
Real friends are not envious of others' achievements. On the contrary: they celebrate them. To find out if a person really cares about your success, pay attention and see if they congratulate you when you deserve it.
Step 5. See if the person prioritizes friendship
If you know you can count on her in the blink of an eye, the friendship is probably sincere. Real friends prioritize each other over certain relationships and situations - even more so in tense times.
For example, even if your friend is traveling on vacation, he'll still have time to text you if you're sick
Method 2 of 3: Analyzing the Time You Spend Together
Step 1. Determine if the person has time for you, even when they are busy
Many people manage to stay close, even when they don't speak or see each other for a long time; still, this kind of relationship is based on the time we spend with each other. Even if your friend is busy with studies, work, or other responsibilities, they should still have time to call, text, or hang out with you.
This is also true for you: if you consider someone your "friend" but never have time for anything, perhaps you should rethink the importance of that person in your life
Step 2. Determine if the person is jealous of your other friendships
Real friends aren't jealous or possessive - they trust others enough and thus show no controlling or manipulative behaviors. If the individual is really your friend, he won't need your company 24 hours a day. If not, stay tuned and walk away.
Step 3. Determine if you like to go out together
It is natural that friends like to have fun when they are together, regardless of what they do: watch TV at home, go out for a night out, etc. Everything is more interesting when you are accompanied.
Having fun together, you and your friend will also create lots of memories of your adventures
Step 4. Determine if the person helps you to be someone better
There are many people who pretend to be friends but actually root for the failure of others. Of course accidents happen; however, most of the time, this individual should be a good influence and motivate you to be a better person.
For example, maybe your friend encourages you to graduate, make peace with your siblings after a fight, contribute to society, and so on
Step 5. Think about how you feel when you are with the person
Real friends make others happy and excited about your company, not stressed or tired. Ideally, you feel rejuvenated, alive and excited after spending a day with the person.
Step 6. Determine if you talk about serious topics
One of the main attributes of any friendship is the ability to cut to the chase. If the person asks "How are you?", for example, you don't have to answer "Fine"; you can talk about the problem you are having at home or with your girlfriend, for example.
This communicative element between friends is essential. Everyone relaxes and opens up when they're with someone they're close to (and not so much with strangers or acquaintances)
Step 7. Determine if the person knows you thoroughly and accepts your way of being
The advantage of having friends is that you can act naturally, without strings attached. If the person is really your friend, you can show them who you really are - a side that many are unaware of - while still relying on their love and understanding.
- Real friends don't have to act underhanded (something that doesn't happen in many casual relationships).
- Real friends don't demand that others change: they accept the idiosyncrasies and quirks of those who matter to them. Despite that, that doesn't mean they have to agree with everything you say or do.
Method 3 of 3: Analyzing the Most Intimate Details of the Relationship
Step 1. Determine if the person listens to what you say
In a friendship, everyone involved has to listen and speak - and the right moment for each action must be recognized. Every good friend has to have a listening ear, as it may be needed from time to time.
- Pay attention to the next conversation you have with the person. Is she willing to listen to everything you say before she speaks?
- Even if your friend isn't the best listener in the world, see if he at least tries to pay attention to your problems, not just your own.
Step 2. Determine if the person respects your limits
Any healthy relationship requires certain boundaries - including friendships. Real friends respect these barriers without feeling threatened.
For example, if you tell a friend that you prefer that he not read your diary, he has to respect your request
Step 3. Determine if the person supports you
A real friend shows affection for others in a variety of ways, supporting their ideas, interests and goals, etc. This person should congratulate your achievements and take care of you in sad times.
Step 4. Determine if the person is flexible or intolerant
Everyone makes mistakes, and your friend has to understand that you are human. When you do something wrong and it hurts you, apologize from the bottom of your heart; if the relationship is sincere, he will accept that request, without holding a grudge or throwing the situation in your face in the future.
For example, if you forget to call a friend, he doesn't have to avoid your company for several days, but acknowledges that it was a simple mistake and that it can happen to anyone
Step 5. Determine if the person gives honest opinions
What separates "friends" from "acquaintances" is the personal investment they make: they care about us - and so are honest, even if they say serious and unpleasant things.