Not knowing when to stop talking can cause problems in your life. Having a good sense of the right time to keep your mouth shut is important at all times: at work, in a circle of friends or in the classroom. It's a way to give others the opportunity to actively participate in the conversation, to become a good listener, and to avoid hurting someone or causing a misunderstanding. Also, when you decide to speak, people will be more receptive to your words.
Method 1 of 3: Stopping Talking Everything That Comes to Your Head
Step 1. Imagine that you are expressing your thoughts without saying them
When you're just learning to keep your mouth shut, it's hard to let go of the urge to talk. To overcome the difficulty, create a conversation in your head and imagine that you are saying something, but don't verbalize anything.
The technique works great when you are hurt or angry and have the urge to say something without thinking
Step 2. Write down feelings instead of verbalizing
If it's too hard to be quiet, write your feelings in a journal. Putting them down on paper is sometimes all it takes to get rid of the urge to talk. Then crumple the paper and throw it away, or use the note to rethink what you intended to say.
For example, if your note looks like “Why did you set the day of the party without asking me? You don't think things through," throw it away and don't say anything or say, "You'd better have talked to me before you set up the party."
Step 3. Be a good listener
Pay attention not only to what people say, but also how they express themselves. Watch for nonverbal cues such as facial expressions or hand movements. That way you understand the message better and people are more comfortable talking because they know they won't be cut off.
For example, if you ask someone if they would like to take care of your children and you get the answer “I'm not sure I can”, don't interrupt them. Have you noticed an expression of displeasure or the person is nervously waving their hands, maybe they don't like the idea and it's best not to pressure them
Step 4. Try meditation practices to calm the mind
It takes a little effort to keep your mouth shut, especially if you're still thinking about what you'd like to say. Train the mind to be calmer. Try the following activities:
- Walk or run.
Method 2 of 3: Finding the Time to Be Quiet
Step 1. Rather be quiet than complaining or whining
If you complain about everything and everyone, people will see you as a complainer. In this way, you can lose respect and be listened to less and less.
The consequences are even more likely if you complain about things no one can change, like the weather
Step 2. Hold your tongue when you feel like being rude
Everyone has bad days and gets angry sometimes. When you meet someone in this situation, don't fight with them, but try to listen to them and be kind.
Perhaps the person later feels bad about their behavior and appreciates their attitude
Step 3. Don't gossip
Never talk about people behind their backs because no one trusts a gossip and you could end up hurting someone or getting in trouble. Don't start and don't be part of gossip.
Remember the reasons to avoid gossip. The information you tell others may be false or annoy someone, for example
Step 4. If you are angry and ready to hurt someone, stop
It's easy to attack others when you're really angry, but the result may not be what you want. It's much better not to say anything than to say something that makes you regret it later.
It's a good idea to keep your mouth shut when you're about to say something that will only irritate the other person
if you tend to talk too much and say heavy words when you drink, stop drinking or just have your drink when you are with your closest friends.
Step 5. Keep unfinished business and plans secret
Do not tell others very important information, especially if it depends on someone else's decision. Do not give details about a job offer you received or the work you are doing, for example. It is likely that other people are not happy to know that you are spreading something that has not yet been decided. Plus, you'll make a fool of yourself if it doesn't work out.
For example, don't say "I'm going to be the star of the next play because there's no one in the cast with my experience." Be quiet until the final decision is made
Step 6. Don't brag
No one likes to hear a person talk about their accomplishments, so don't want to be the center of the conversation all the time. Someone better mention him and congratulate him.
For example, don't say, "I'm the one who closed the deal and you should thank me." If you don't say anything, it's possible that someone else will bring it up and it will be much better for your image
Step 7. Shut up when you don't know the answer
People who talk a lot tend to answer questions without having knowledge about the subject. Find a way to get rid of this habit. Others will notice that you don't know what you're talking about. It's a waste of time.
If you feel you have to answer, say: “I don't understand much about the subject. Does anyone have any idea?”
Step 8. Appreciate silence and don't try to fill it all the time
If no one is talking and people look uncomfortable, wait for someone to break the ice. It might be difficult at first, but you can learn to keep your mouth shut with practice. It's possible that a person is thinking about saying something or working up the courage to join the conversation.
if you find it too difficult to hold your tongue, count up to a certain number in your head. For example, give yourself three minutes time before opening your mouth.
Step 9. Don't open up to strangers
If you're used to interacting with people you don't know, it might be hard to see that you're talking more than you should. Pay attention to how much personal information you share with those you don't really know. You can be nice even without revealing things about your life.
- Observe the reactions of others. When you talk too much, you may find them bored or trying to escape the conversation.
- This type of situation is more common when you are with only acquaintances. People aren't comfortable when you exaggerate the details of your own life.
Method 3 of 3: Learning When and How to Speak
Step 1. Give yourself some time to think before you start talking
Don't put out everything that pops into your head, but try to give what you say a purpose. Think about what you want to say and how best to express yourself.
You'll seem like a more confident person, especially not if you're not taking breaks and hesitating all the time
Step 2. Make questions instead of making small talk.
If you talk too much, you may not be asking questions or giving others enough time to respond. The conversation is much more interesting when everyone interacts and has their speaking time. Ask something nice and wait for the person to respond without interruption or give the answer.
Asking questions is even more important in meetings, business situations or in the classroom
Step 3. Speak up only when you can add something useful to the conversation
Really listen to other people and consider whether you are making a positive contribution. Has anyone said what you intended to say? There's no need to repeat it. Be quiet until you have something useful or interesting to share.