Is there a guy you're not interested in who just doesn't touch? Lack of reciprocity can create an uncomfortable situation when one person likes the other. You can take a few steps to show that you're not interested, including being direct and telling him that you don't share the same feeling, and using body language and other cues. He has a right to feel what he feels, but he has no right to upset her.
Part 1 of 3: Trying a Direct Approach
Step 1. Say in person that you don't like him
One of the ways to try to get him to stop liking you is to simply tell him you're not interested. No need to be mean, just direct and honest. The next time you see him, bring it up so he'll stop chasing you.
You can say “John, it looks like you have a romantic interest in me. I wanted you to know that I don't feel the same way about you.”
Step 2. Try sending a text message
If you can't chat in person, send a message. In a way, it might even be better, as his ego won't be hurt that much. However, he may also think that you are not brave enough to talk in person. Think about whether he is a more digital person or if he likes to resolve situations personally and make your decision based on that.
Again, be direct, but not mean. Write “John, please stop sending messages. I don't share the same feelings as you."
Step 3. Don't point out what's wrong with it
It can be tempting to try to explain why you don't like him, and he might ask, but don't say anything. It's better to just say you're not romantically interested and let the matter drop.
For example, don't say “I don't like you because you're ugly” as that won't help. Instead, say "I don't feel the same way you feel."
Step 4. Be confident
If you act shy about his disinterested statement, he may feel that he needs to work harder to get you to like him. However, if you're confident in saying you're not interested, he'll likely walk away.
- Speak in a clear, confident tone. Stand or sit with good posture. Look him in the eye when you talk.
- Also, try not to evoke questions. Sometimes people put an inflection at the end of a sentence, implying that it is a question rather than a statement. Speak clearly.
Step 5. Don't open up
If things seem inconclusive, you'll give him hope that you want a relationship in the future. You don't want him to be stuck with the possibility that he might still be able to have something with you. Even if you want to be kind, also remember to be firm about your decision.
- For example, saying “You're a really nice guy and you have a lot of qualities, but I need some space” is a little ambiguous.
- Start the same way if you want, but finish firmly: “You're a nice guy, but I can't see us together. I'm not interested in you that way."
Part 2 of 3: Talking Quietly
Step 1. Don't wait to talk to him
The longer you wait, the harder it will be. He'll have more time to think about how much he likes you and wants you to be together, which means he'll feel even more rejected than he would if you spoke up right away. Be kind but speak as soon as possible.
Step 2. Remember that it's okay to feel nervous
Nobody likes to reject people, even if it's someone who makes them uncomfortable. You will probably feel nervous and there is no problem with that. Acknowledging your feelings and understanding that they are normal can help. Also, take a deep breath and try to calm down.
Step 3. Be prepared for times of unhappiness
No matter how polite you are, he can get mad. Even if you don't get mad, you'll probably be sad. Try not to make things worse by getting defensive or arguing with him. If he looks like he needs to say something, let him talk. Then smile and move on.
- Of course, you don't have to stay there and put up with the curses or the insults. If he acts that way, leave.
- If he starts getting violent, go away and call the police. Take refuge in a safe place.
Step 4. Don't get involved
After talking to him, try not to get involved anymore, especially if he starts to be mean. If he keeps trying to text you to find out why you don't like him, ignore him. Getting involved in the situation won't change anything.
Part 3 of 3: Showing your disinterest
Step 1. Use your body language
Body language says a lot about how we feel about people. Showing a guy that you don't like him through body language can be enough to drive him away, even if it takes a while for him to understand. Maybe he won't stop liking you instantly, but at least he'll understand that you don't intend to reciprocate his feelings at all.
- Moving away from your body is a big indication that you're not interested.
- Cross your arms when you're close to him.
- To show disinterest, you can also frown.
Step 2. Avoid talking too much
When we feel attracted to someone, it's normal to want to talk a lot and about ourselves. So if you talk too much with someone you don't like, the person may end up getting the wrong impression. Talking too much may imply that you are interested.
Be brief about conversations. If you see the person at school or at work, only talk about what is strictly necessary
Step 3. Skip the giggles
Laughing at someone's jokes is a way of showing that you like the person. If you're trying to make him understand that he shouldn't like you, stop laughing at his jokes. If he laughs and smiles, he'll take that as an encouragement to continue.
Step 4. Be absent
Just as you shouldn't talk too much, you shouldn't show up too much either. By avoiding seeing him and rejecting his suggestions to date you, he must soon stop chasing you.
Step 5. Travel as a group
Sometimes one way to avoid interacting with someone is to try not to be alone. Keep your friends close or find a way to talk to someone else if you notice he's coming. He'll probably get the message that you don't want to talk to him.
Step 6. Lock it
If he keeps sending a lot of messages or invading your personal space (after explicitly telling him not to), block him. You have the right not to be harassed. Block his number on your cell phone and also on the social networks you use. He will probably understand that you don't want him in your life.
Step 7. Be clear and consistent about your boundaries
Move him away if he seems too close and say "no". If you can't say no, he'll always come back. If you don't want him around, be consistent about your rejection.