A romance can be complicated, and the feeling of jealousy can end up appearing, intentionally or unintentionally. If you have noticed that a boy is intentionally trying to make you jealous, it will be necessary to take action to end the behavior without further complicating your relationship. The exact method to be followed will depend on whether the boy is a flirt, a boyfriend or an ex-boyfriend, as there are a few basics for each case.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Dealing with a flirt
Step 1. Analyze his actions
When dealing with a date who is trying to make you jealous, it's important to ask yourself whether his attempt is intentional or accidental. He may be flirting with other girls in front of you to get your attention, but there is a possibility that he is naturally flirtatious, which leads him to do it without thinking.
- This problem usually occurs when the boy flirts with you and other girls at the same time. It can be hard to tell if he really likes you or if he's just randomly flirting with girls. To find out if the guy likes you more than other girls, check to see if he flirts with you differently than he usually does to them.
- For example, when you see him in a hallway, pay attention to where he is looking. If he immediately fixes his gaze on you, it's probably a good sign. On the other hand, if he keeps looking at another girl and doesn't notice you, it's a bad sign.
- Try not to assume that a guy who's been talking all the time about his girlfriend in front of you is doing it to make you jealous. Maybe he's just crazy about her and wants to demonstrate it to you. Even if he really is using his girlfriend to try to make you jealous or start liking him, the disloyalty and disrespect shown by this behavior is a clear sign that maybe you should stay away from him as he would probably make a terrible boyfriend.
Step 2. Be honest about your feelings
If you think your crush is trying to make you jealous, the best thing to do is tell him how you feel. There's a good chance his actions are caused by the insecurity of not knowing what you're feeling. Opening the game can show the boy that the attraction is mutual, solving the problem.
- Of course this is easier said than done. You'll also face the risk of rejection by telling him what you're feeling. Still, opening the game is the only way to resolve the situation before it gets worse.
- Wait the next time you're flirting in a private place where it's just the two of you to say you're feeling something more. Wait for his response before broaching the topic of jealousy.
Step 3. Point out the problem
You will need to deal with jealousy anyway, no matter what his response is, but which method you take will depend on it.
- If your date is interested in having something more serious with you, let him know in a casual and playful way that he should keep the date to you. Try to avoid making him feel guilty, but make it clear that you don't want him to flirt with other girls.
- If your date reacts indifferently or rejects the idea of having something more serious, ask him to stop flirting with you. Having to deal with frequent flirtations from someone who doesn't want commitment will only make him play with your emotions, and that's not healthy for either of you.
Step 4. Say goodbye if things don't work out
If your crush doesn't change his behavior after this conversation, it's best to cut him off.
- Starting a relationship with someone who can't stop flirting with other girls is likely to generate constant frustration and insecurities, eroding the relationship in the long run.
- Continuing a friendship when only one of you is interested in the other is always difficult, so if he continues to elude you, the best thing to do is forget about him and move on.
Method 2 of 3: Dealing With Your Boyfriend
Step 1. Discuss your feelings
Talk to your boyfriend and let him know how you feel about his recent behavior. Try to set limits, specifying what is acceptable and what is not.
- Maybe your boyfriend isn't really trying to make you jealous, as he may not be realizing the effect his interactions with other girls have on you. Talking about it with him can help improve the problem.
- Even though his intention was that, perhaps the motivation for it was the insecurity he feels. Talking fully about the subject can give you both a chance to share what you feel, which can make you feel more secure about his feelings.
Step 2. Stay calm
Before, during and after the conversation, try to stay calm. Don't explode when your boyfriend says or does something that makes you jealous.
- Talk about your feelings using self-reference ("I feel like..", for example) instead of blaming it ("You make me feel"…).
- If it really is a misunderstanding, remaining calm can help you resolve things as best you can and with minimal conflict.
- If your boyfriend is intentionally trying to piss you off, blowing up will only give him the reaction he wanted. Instead of doing what he expected, stay calm and adopt a mature posture when talking. If his behavior continues after this conversation, he may have serious self-control issues, which makes breaking up a good option.
Step 3. Make him feel safe
Sometimes a boy may try to make you jealous because he is insecure about the feelings you have for him. This insecurity does not justify the behavior, but makes it normal.
- Attempts to make you jealous are his way of getting attention. By "reminding" you that he is a catch, the boy will be trying to win your affection.
- Try to reconnect with your boyfriend to provide the security he needs. Praise him, recognize him when he does good things for you, hug him, kiss him, and don't be afraid to do any other kind of physical interaction you feel is appropriate.
Step 4. Control your insecurities
In addition to dealing with his insecurities, take care of your own as well. Having more confidence and self-esteem often makes it easier to control an exaggerated jealousy, as well as providing greater motivation to strengthen the relationship.
- Understand your own emotions. Admit when you are suffering from jealousy, try to realize that it is a natural feeling and don't be ashamed of it. You can learn to overcome this feeling only after you fully understand it.
- Take the time to focus on your self-interests that are unrelated to your relationship. Developing as an individual can help you see what good you have to offer to the relationship, helping you to realize that your boyfriend really loves you.
Method 3 of 3: Dealing With An Ex Boyfriend
Step 1. Ignore it
If your ex-boyfriend is intentionally trying to expose his new relationship to you, giving a jealous response will mean giving him exactly what he wants. Do not respond when he speaks via email, messages or social media. If he tries to make you jealous in person, respond as naturally as possible, end the conversation, and walk away.
- In addition to not answering him directly, he also needs to resist the temptation to post that vague, passive-aggressive status update on Facebook or Twitter, and avoid complaining to mutual friends who might tell him.
- Persist. At first, maybe he'll try even harder to make you jealous, but if you stick to consistency and ignore him, he'll probably understand that it won't work.
Step 2. Decrease his opportunities
If he's really stubborn and keeps bothering you, break off the relationship. Delete friendship, stop following him and block him from social media. If the situation is very serious, block his number on your phone and mark his emails as spam.
Maybe he feels fulfilled that he's managed to upset her, but now that he has no way to continue what he was doing, he will have no choice but to stop
Step 3. Avoid fighting back
You may feel the need to use fire against fire, in this case jealousy against jealousy, but this is generally not a good idea. Entering a new relationship just to make the ex jealous won't be fair to the new boyfriend.
Also, showing off a new boyfriend you really like can also damage the relationship. Trying to use the new lover to get back with your "ex" makes your focus stay on the old relationship, strengthening jealousy and fueling the war between you indefinitely. A much better option is to cut off your relationship with him and focus your attention completely on the new love
Step 4. Resist the temptation to get back together
Even if the opportunity to get back together with your "ex" comes along and even if you are considering taking advantage of it, don't do it. An "ex" who intentionally tries to make you jealous is clearly a person capable of hurting you. This is not the kind of guy who deserves your love and affection.
Notices
- If your current boyfriend continues to intentionally try to make you jealous, you may need to seek couples therapy to resolve these issues. In the worst case, your problems cannot be resolved, which makes ending the relationship the best option.
- If an ex-boyfriend makes his behavior worse when you start ignoring him by abusing or threatening, it might be a good idea to report it to the police.