How to Ignore Someone Who Has Hurt You: 11 Steps

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How to Ignore Someone Who Has Hurt You: 11 Steps
How to Ignore Someone Who Has Hurt You: 11 Steps

When someone says or does something that hurts you, it's normal to feel anger, sadness, shame, or even fear. While it's tempting to yell and yell at the person, sometimes the best thing to do is to pretend to be calm and ignore the behavior that has hurt you. After the moment has passed, give yourself time to react and get upset. Understanding the other person's motives and accepting your own feelings about what happened also helps you to start moving forward.


Method 1 of 2: Ignoring Bad Behavior on Time

Ignore Someone Who Hurt You Step 1

Step 1. Stay calm

If someone else is trying to hurt or upset you, it's important not to let them get what they want. On the other hand, if the other person has no intention of causing harm, reacting with anger can make the situation worse. Even if you are angry, sad, or scared, do your best to appear calm and collected. Try the following things:

  • Take a deep breath through your nose and release it through your mouth.
  • Mentally count to 10 slowly.
  • Keep your face neutral and expressionless.
Ignore Someone Who Hurt You Step 2

Step 2. Be quiet if you can't think of anything constructive to say

If someone is being rude or hurting you, it's normal to feel the urge to fight back or start yelling at the person. The problem is, that kind of attitude will only make things worse. Instead of yelling the first thing that comes to mind in the heat of the moment, stop and think about whether what you want to say is necessary, true, or going to help. If the answer is no, don't say it!

  • Resist the urge to scream, cry, or insult the person. Try biting your tongue lightly or putting a finger to your lips if you're dying to fight back or speak before thinking.
  • If you want to answer but need time to calm down and choose your words, try saying, "Excuse me, I need a few minutes." Leave the place to get calm.


if you're having trouble thinking about what to say after someone's rude to you, go for a walk. This will not only give you time to calm down, but also move your body, which helps you to think better!

Ignore Someone Who Hurt You Step 3

Step 3. Walk away if the person is intentionally offending you

If you're pretty sure the other person is insulting you or trying to hurt you because he wants to, getting away is the best way to handle the situation. This shows that you are not interested in creating confusion or acting the same way as the person.

  • If you feel comfortable, calmly say “Stop it” or “You're pushing the envelope. I'm leaving."
  • If you can't leave, use gestures to show the other person that you don't want to get into the fight. For example, you can pick up your cell phone and start playing games, put on headphones, or turn around and talk to someone else.
Ignore Someone Who Hurt You Step 4

Step 4. Respond if the person is known

Sometimes ignoring the other is not the best reaction to inappropriate behavior. For example, if the person who hurt you is in your family, a friend, or a co-worker, it might be better to calmly confront them and tell them how this behavior affects you. Ignoring it will likely cause resentment and won't solve the problem.

  • For example, you can say, “When you call me things like that, I get hurt and I feel disrespected. Stop treating me like that.”
  • If a stranger is rude to you, or you think this situation won't happen again, it might be better to just ignore what happened and move on.
Ignore Someone Who Hurt You Step 5

Step 5. Set clear boundaries if the person tends to repeat this type of behavior

If you're dealing with someone who behaves offensively on a regular basis, setting limits and enforcing them can help. Say you will no longer respond to these bad behaviors. Say what the consequences will be and stick to it.

  • Sometimes offering an alternative to behavior that hurts you helps. So you can ignore the bad behavior by reinforcing the alternative that is better.
  • For example, say “I won't talk to you if you keep laughing at me or insulting me. When you're ready to respect and really listen, we'll talk.”
Ignore Someone Who Hurt You Step 6

Step 6. Get away and get help if you think you're in danger

If you feel physically threatened, don't try to confront the person. Get away from her as soon as possible and find someone who can help or call the police as soon as you can.

  • If someone threatens or attacks you, don't ignore it! Even if you can get out of the situation, the person may continue to do so later or hurt someone else. Report it immediately to the authorities.
  • If you have to be in the same room as the person again, try taking someone with you. This third person can act as a witness if any more abusive behavior occurs or help keep the abuser quiet.

Method 2 of 2: Moving Forward After Being Hurt by Someone

Ignore Someone Who Hurt You Step 7

Step 1. Allow yourself to be sad about what happened

If someone did something that caused a lot of harm, it's normal to feel sad. Trying to ignore or deny what you're feeling won't make the feeling go away and may even make things worse. Prefer to name what you are feeling and allow yourself to experience these emotions without judgment.

When you have a few minutes to spare, sit in a quiet place, breathe and think about what you are feeling. For example, you might think “I'm feeling tense and embarrassed. I was very upset with Amanda's behavior at my birthday party.”


mindful meditation is a great way to address difficult feelings and get over them. Take a few minutes a day to meditate thinking about how you are feeling at the moment, physically and emotionally.

Ignore Someone Who Hurt You Step 8

Step 2. Try to understand each other's motives

Consider what the person might be thinking to cause their behavior. Maybe she was having a bad day and was mean to everyone around her or maybe she didn't realize how much she hurt you by doing what you did. Even if you're sure the other was intentionally being mean, remember that people often behave this way because of their own insecurities.

Understanding the other or empathizing and seeing their motives does not mean creating excuses to justify bad behavior. However, it helps to make sense of the behavior and can make you less upset or confused

Ignore Someone Who Hurt You Step 9

Step 3. Recognize that the other person's misbehavior is not your fault

Remember that no matter what caused the bad situation, it was the other who chose to act the way they did. His behavior says more about him than it does about you.

On the other hand, also recognize that the other person does not control your feelings or behavior. It's okay to be upset, but understand that the upset comes from you

Ignore Someone Who Hurt You Step 10

Step 4. Solve the problem instead of ignoring the person

Ignoring someone is not always a healthy way to handle conflict. In fact, intentionally ignoring someone or giving ice can hurt a lot. If the person who hurt you is a friend, someone you love, your romantic partner, or a coworker, using communication to talk about how you feel and think of ways to deal with the problem is often best.

For example, you might say “I get really upset when you say I'm immature when we're arguing. Isn't it better to look for a better way to express our frustration that doesn't involve insults?”

Ignore Someone Who Hurt You Step 11

Step 5. Decrease contact with the person if necessary

If you're dealing with someone who hurts you or disrespects your boundaries all the time, it might be better to avoid them as much as possible or even sever relationships. If you feel you owe an explanation as to why you chose to avoid the person, calmly say that they do things that upset you all the time and that you prefer to cut off relationships for your own good.

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