Entering a relationship with a married man may seem attractive to some women. However, it can also be a very difficult and painful experience. There are many reasons to explain why a woman is attracted to a married man, and understanding those reasons, in addition to the difficulties such a relationship can bring, will help you decide what to do.
Method 1 of 4: Recognizing the risks
Step 1. Understand that he probably won't leave his wife for you
Although your boyfriend claims he is willing or about to leave his wife, most married men do not. Understand that the chances of your boyfriend leaving his wife to be exclusively with you are pretty slim.
- If he is finalizing the divorce, then it is more likely that he is really willing to leave his wife.
- Most men don't leave a wife to be with a girlfriend.
Step 2. Remember that he will always be connected to the family
If your boyfriend has children with his wife, he will always have a connection to the children and possibly to her. Even if he ends the marriage to be with you, they will likely share custody of the children. Be prepared for this type of situation if you want to continue your relationship with him.
Step 3. Prepare for a difficult relationship
Dating a married man is often difficult and can cause a lot of heartache for those involved. It is necessary to recognize all the complications involved if you intend to continue dating.
Method 2 of 4: Understanding Why Women Desire Relationships with Married Men
Step 1. Analyze your relationship and look for any behavior that indicates an adrenaline rush
The hidden reason for your relationship may be what keeps you both interested. Sneaking around, keeping secrets or hiding the relationship can be exciting, maybe enough to keep the flame burning between you.
Understand that if you are interested in your boyfriend solely because of the adrenaline, having an exclusive relationship with him is likely to cause the appeal to be lost
Step 2. Ask yourself if the relationship is about competition
Some women are extremely competitive, and this trait can show up in relationships too. Women who want a married man often do this because they want to feel superior to their wives. This causes them to run after their husbands so they can prove to themselves and others that they are the "winners".
Step 3. Resolve any trust issues you may have
Some women have a hard time trusting men. The appeal of looking for a married man has to do with the fact that you cannot be cheated on because he is already cheating on his wife. Women who date married men also don't feel restricted to who they can relate to. Lack of trust may be the reason behind your relationship with a married man.
Method 3 of 4: Dating During a Divorce
Step 1. Be aware of your boyfriend's wife
Even though you're dating during the divorce, it's still going to be necessary to deal with his wife's view of you. So be careful in your interactions, as she can harbor resentments and cause problems in the future.
- Your boyfriend's wife might try to turn their kids against you.
- She may also try to distort her image in front of family and friends.
- Your relationship can hinder or increase the progress of the divorce process.
Step 2. Be discreet about your relationship
Having a relationship with a man who is getting divorced can be difficult and problematic for both parties. Maintaining discretion can make the situation calmer and calmer as the divorce unfolds.
- Wait until the divorce is final to make the relationship public.
- Don't get involved with your boyfriend's kids until the divorce is complete.
Step 3. Make sure your boyfriend is physically separated from his wife
Having a relationship with a man who still lives with his wife can be considered a key factor in the failure of the marriage. If the relationship comes in as one of the reasons for the divorce, your boyfriend may end up losing out in the process and losing assets, for example.
Wait until your boyfriend moves out of his wife's house to enter into a relationship with him
Method 4 of 4: Finding Out If Your Boyfriend Is Married
Step 1. Pay attention to your boyfriend's availability
If he's always unavailable at night and on weekends, but he always talks to you in the morning, he's likely to be married. He may be with his wife during these times, which is why he doesn't answer her calls or answer her messages.
- Note the times when your boyfriend is available to talk.
- If he only talks to you when he's at work or away from home, chances are he's married.
- Unless he has to work over the weekend, he should be able to meet or talk to you.
Step 2. Think about how much you know about his personal life
Married men usually don't share many details of their personal lives. The need to withhold information can be an effort to hide a possible marriage. Take into account how much you know about your boyfriend and his personal life to see if he is withholding any important information.
- In cases like this, he will likely hide where he lives.
- Your boyfriend may not want to talk about his friends, as there is a risk that you may meet them and end up asking for details about his life.
- If he doesn't talk about his relationships, it may be to avoid revealing anything about his current marriage.
Step 3. See if he hides his own family from you
If your boyfriend is married, chances are he will try to keep you from knowing his family and will also try to keep the relationship a secret. If you met family members, the relationship would come to the fore. If you've been dating for a while, but his family is anyone's guess, chances are he's married.
- Analyze your reasons for wanting a relationship with a married man. Be honest with yourself.
- The best option is to end the relationship amicably.
- Try to talk about your relationship with someone you trust.