4 Ways to Stop Being Envious

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4 Ways to Stop Being Envious
4 Ways to Stop Being Envious

It's normal to be jealous of others from time to time. The problem is when it causes you to spend all your time wishing you had what others have, not appreciating the things you have. If you want to get over that bad feeling and get on with your life normally, you've come to the right place. Come on?


Method 1 of 4: Understanding Envy

Overcome Jealousy Step 1

Step 1. Understand that you have a problem

Before you can control and overcome envy, you have to admit that it is a real problem that is taking over your life and preventing you from loving the person you are. Envy has the ability to debilitate anyone, preventing them from reaching their own goals or becoming a better person. In some cases, it can also turn into jealousy, either out of fear of not being good enough for the other person, or out of envy of others. Envy is probably taking over your life if you:

  • You spend most of your time wishing you had what others have rather than valuing what you have.
  • He constantly compares himself to friends, relatives and co-workers, always thinking he has fallen behind them.
  • You're jealous of a specific person and can't be around them for five minutes without wanting their clothes, looks, and attitude.
  • You are envious of all your friends' relationships, wishing yours were as good as they were.
  • You are in a relationship and cannot handle your partner interacting with anyone of the opposite sex. You are convinced that all the boys want to steal her from you.
  • He's obsessed with checking people's social networks or rummaging through their cell phone all the time looking for signs of infidelity. This is a case where envy turns to jealousy.
  • He is unable to take a few minutes without comparing his relationship, career, and family with everyone he knows.
  • You feel very jealous whenever one of your friends goes out with someone else, wondering what you did wrong so they weren't around.
Overcome Jealousy Step 2

Step 2. Think a little bit about envy

After admitting that you have a real problem and realizing that you want to end it, you need to understand why you started to feel this envy. If you feel like you don't have what others have, then there's probably some problem in your life. To understand where this bad feeling is coming from, answer the following questions:

  • Are you just jealous of one aspect of other people's lives? For example, if you have an elbow pain because your relationships don't compare to those of your friends, it's best to try to improve your relationships or put an end to them. Are you jealous to see a friend chasing the dream of being an artist, when you're afraid to take that risk? Maybe it's time to rethink your career.
  • Are you jealous of everything everyone else has? If you think you don't have anything that might cause envy in others, it's a sign that you're suffering from insecurity and lack of confidence. You need to improve the way you see yourself before moving on and overcoming envy.
  • Are you jealous of your friends' appearances? Do you feel your life would be so much better if you were handsome like them? Try to create a unique style, spend more time eating well and exercising. Also take the opportunity to learn to love your own characteristics by looking in the mirror and remembering the things you love about yourself every day.

Method 2 of 4: Improving the situation

Overcome Jealousy Step 3

Step 1. Improve as a person

If you are chronically envious, you are likely to feel that you are not an individual to be admired because you do not consider yourself interesting or dynamic. Well, now it's time to transform yourself into a person who has no reason to be jealous because you're too busy being happy with your life. How to do this? It's simple:

  • Build your confidence. Take a notebook and write down all the things you love about yourself. Then make a list of your weaknesses. Strive to reverse the weaknesses listed so that you can feel better about who you are. When you feel more comfortable with yourself, you will have less time to be envious of others.
  • The material spectrum is one of the most affected by envy. If you're jealous of the money a friend has and you don't, accept that you can't buy all the things they buy. Still, you can make your money worth more. Save the most to buy less stuff, but with more quality, and you'll feel better.
  • Work on your appearance. If you're jealous of a friend's crunchy abdomen, go to the gym more often and create concrete goals. Remember that as different as each body is, you still have a lot of control over your appearance. If, on the other hand, you think everyone is better looking than you are and there's nothing that can change that, you may have self-image issues and need to see a mental health professional.
  • Remember to be yourself. It's impossible to overcome envy when you're obsessed with doing what your friends do, looking like them, and having relationships like theirs. You are a unique individual and will only feel worse trying to emulate someone else's life. As much as you can be inspired by the lives of others, remember not to compare yourself so much. Live your life.
Overcome Jealousy Step 4

Step 2. Improve the things you do

Are you jealous of a friend because you can't stand your job and your daily life anymore? How about being proud of your effort and trying to be more excited to pursue your interests? If you're too busy trying to achieve your stuff, you won't have time to be envious of others.

  • Do more of the things you love. If you spend a lot of time wanting to be like your friends, a sign that you don't do a lot of things you're proud of. How about investing in culture? Read books of poems and novels. Also try to develop useful skills and hobbies such as knitting and furniture makeover. The more you try to improve as a person, the better you'll feel about yourself.
  • Grow professionally. If you feel envious of a person who follows professional dreams or who has received a promotion in the service, don't be stopped! Try working harder at your job or looking for a career change.
  • Create goals and follow the steps necessary to reach them. Don't try to switch feet for hands: if you've never run professionally, it makes no sense to want to participate in a marathon, right? By setting a small goal first, you will achieve it and feel more capable of success in the future.
Overcome Jealousy Step 5

Step 3. Improve your relationships

If you're jealous of someone who has lots of friends or an interesting date, chances are that something is missing in your life. Try to spend more time on meaningful conversations or activities with your friends. Also try to maintain more sincere and deeper love relationships.

  • If you are happy with your friendships and your love relationship, you will have no reason to envy others. By maintaining a good relationship with your partner, you will feel more secure.

    If you have a friendship based only on envy, you better put an end to it. Do you feel that a friend always tries to make you jealous by bragging about the things you do or have? Maybe he's not a good friend to have

  • Also take care of family relationships. If you don't spend enough time with your family, it's normal to feel jealous of friends who are close to relatives. Make a conscious effort to stay in touch with your parents, siblings, uncles and cousins. Trust me, you will feel better!
  • Improve love life. If you are in a serious relationship, strive to create sincere and open communication with each other so they can deal with issues. If you're single, try to be happy with the prospect of meeting someone in the future instead of being sad that all your friends are dating.

Method 3 of 4: Improving Your View of Life

Overcome Jealousy Step 6

Step 1. Remember how lucky you are

When you're blinded by envy, it's impossible to see things objectively and understand how lucky we are. Remember that you are lucky to have water and food when you want, to be healthy and even to have access to the internet to read this article. It seems difficult? Follow the tips below:

  • Visualize your fortune compared to most people in the world. Remember that many people don't have things that you consider basic and mandatory. It is very likely that he has never dealt with real hunger, that he is healthy and can see a doctor easily, that he has enough clothes to stay out of the cold in the winter, and that he does not feel overwhelmed where he lives. Not many people can say the same.
  • Understand that you have things that many people would envy. Make a list of at least 20 things you have that might interest others. If you like, list basic items (such as "drinking water") or more complex items (such as "be funny").
  • Understand that the people you envy don't have a perfect life either. You have to be realistic! Make a list of the things you're jealous of and ask yourself if the people in question might be jealous of something you're jealous of and they're not. For example, you may envy a friend dating you, but your friend may envy the relationship you have with your parents. If you've become jealous of a friend's promotion, know that she might want to have an artistic talent like yours.
Overcome Jealousy Step 7

Step 2. Be a more generous person

If you take the time to help others, you will feel better about yourself and will also have a better understanding of the things you have that you should be grateful for.

  • Do volunteer work. To get an idea of ​​how lucky you are, try volunteering to help educate people or serve food at a shelter. Being around those who need the basics will remind you to be grateful for what you have.
  • Help the people you know. If a friend is experiencing dating problems, motivate them. If a friend is having difficulty at school, help them to study. Understanding the problems of others will make you see that we all suffer in one way or another and that you're not the only one wanting change.
  • Do little things for the people you love. If you know a friend is struggling financially, help them in any way possible. If a friend needs a ride to an appointment and you're free, take them. Feeling useful will be very good for you!

Method 4 of 4: Leading a Positive Life

Overcome Jealousy Step 8

Step 1. Accept who you are

By reflecting on envy and trying to improve as a person, you will probably be able to evolve a lot and deal with this problem. Still, you have to understand that no matter what you do, you'll never be perfect and you'll always want more.

  • Understand that life is not fair. You won't get everything you want, no matter how hard you try. There will always be a luckier person. Once you accept that fact, it will be easier to try to stop embracing the world.
  • Enjoy what you have. You are an individual with strengths and weaknesses, like everyone else, but take special time to enjoy your own characteristics and love yourself. Enjoy your own company!
  • Focus on your strengths. As much as you still miss some things, how about focusing on what you already have, like your date or your job. Highlight the things you love and don't think too much about the ones you want.
Overcome Jealousy Step 9

Step 2. Avoid envy in the future

After working hard and overcoming the envy that was taking over your life, you need to be vigilant so that things don't go back to the way they were in the past. Some things to do in the future:

  • Always remember that nothing is guaranteed. Every day, make a conscious effort to think of at least ten things you're grateful for. Create this routine to reinforce the idea that you are a person who should not envy others.
  • Avoid situations that might cause envy or jealousy. If you're usually a jealous girlfriend, don't date a guy who has a lot of girlfriends. If a friend seems to have it all and you're dying of envy or feel bad about it, try spending less time with them.
  • Recognize the feeling coming. As soon as you notice you're feeling jealous again, go home and start thinking about it in a journal. Why are you jealous of this person? How can you not let this get out of hand?
  • Remember that it is healthy to feel envy and jealousy from time to time. Don't put yourself down if you can't control these feelings all the time. If your friend got a new car from her parents and you don't have the money to buy one, or if a friend says she's getting married and you really want to get a boyfriend, it's okay to be a little jealous. The problem is when this feeling consumes your life and dominates your actions.


  • Don't talk all the time about how lucky other people are. This can create an uncomfortable situation for everyone.
  • Jealousy is not an attractive quality. If you're in a relationship, remember that there's nothing more unpleasant than a jealous partner. This behavior of yours will only show that you are insecure about what you have to offer, and will end up pushing the other person away.


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