10 Ways to Ask a Person If She Is Upset With You

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10 Ways to Ask a Person If She Is Upset With You
10 Ways to Ask a Person If She Is Upset With You

It's not always easy to know when a loved one is upset with us, especially if the person in question is acting strangely for no apparent reason. To avoid being in doubt and dying of nervousness, talk to the other person to find out how they are feeling. If you don't know how to talk about it, don't despair! Here's a list of questions you can ask to start the conversation and find out what's going on.


Method 1 of 10: "Why would she be upset with me?"

Ask Someone if They Are Upset with You Step 1

Step 1. Before asking the other person to talk, ask yourself what reason they might have to be upset with you

Don't decide right away that she's hurt, especially if you haven't had any recent fights. If the other person just isn't responding to your messages or seems a little distant, chances are the real reason has nothing to do with you.

If you meet an acquaintance at the supermarket and he doesn't stop to talk, for example, it is possible that he is just in a hurry or that he is having some problem

Method 2 of 10: "How are you feeling?"

Ask Someone if They Are Upset with You Step 2

Step 1. Bet on a gentle approach that gives the other person room to open up

A good way to understand what's on a person's mind is to ask them to talk. Call the person in question or send a message asking how they are doing. That way, she'll have a great opportunity to tell her if she's hurting you. Even if she doesn't know what to say, that first question will open the door to a longer conversation.

You can also say something like “We haven't spoken for a while. It's all right?"

Method 3 of 10: "Is something bothering you?"

Ask Someone if They Are Upset with You Step 3

Step 1. Make it clear that you have noticed that she is acting strangely

Ask if the other person is upset about something to show that you care about their feelings and that you know something is wrong, but without making them feel obligated to comfort you. After all, you didn't directly ask if she's mad at you, just if she's annoyed in general.

Another option: “I get the feeling you're bothered about something. Am I right? Wanna talk about it?"

Method 4 out of 10: "You've been walking far. Can we talk about this?"

Ask Someone if They Are Upset with You Step 4

Step 1. Ask this question only if you really feel the problem is with you

Sometimes it's pretty clear when someone is upset with us. Some people glare at us, answer our questions harshly, or just stay silent when we're around. If that's the case for you, ask directly what the problem is.

  • If the other person's mood suddenly changes during a conversation, ask something like "Did I say something that offended you?"
  • If you choose to ask a direct question, be prepared to receive an answer in the same style. It's possible that the other person is angry about things you can't even imagine. Let her get it all out.

Method 5 out of 10: "Can you explain to me why you were upset?"

Ask Someone if They Are Upset with You Step 5

Step 1. If you don't know why the other person was so upset, ask

Don't be afraid to voice your doubts if the other person says they were hurt by something you did, but you still don't know what the problem was. It is essential that you understand what happened to avoid future conflicts.

  • Keep calm and patient. It won't help if it sounds like you're judging or making light of the other person's feelings.
  • Listen in silence to what the other person has to say. Don't get defensive or interrupt to give your own opinions. However, there is nothing wrong with saying “I get it” or “It makes sense” every now and then.

Method 6 of 10: "Did I get it right?"

Ask Someone if They Are Upset with You Step 6

Step 1. Repeat what the other person said in your own words

This way, you will be sure that you are in tune. Just be careful to always speak gently. Don't belittle the other person's feelings. Otherwise, she'll only get angrier.

Say, for example, “As I understand it, you found it inconsiderate that I ignored your suggestions for painting the room. It looks like I don't care what you have to say. That's it?"

Method 7 of 10: "May I give you my point of view?"

Ask Someone if They Are Upset with You Step 7

Step 1. State your point of view if you feel you can help resolve the conflict

In some cases, it might be a good idea to get the other person to take your place. Maybe this will help her feel better. Just be careful not to look like you just want to prove you're right. She will find you insensitive.

Remember, with good intentions, hell is full. Sometimes it's better to just apologize instead of trying to explain why you did what you did

Method 8 out of 10: "Do you need some time?"

Ask Someone if They Are Upset with You Step 8

Step 1. Step away if the other person needs time to think

When we're upset, it's common for us to need a few hours to process our feelings before moving on. If the other person says they're not ready to talk yet, give them a space and try again later.

How you move away will depend on the situation, how close you are, and what happened to make the other person upset. If the two of you live together, go out for a walk and try to start talking again when you get back. If you're not too close, wait a few weeks to try again

Method 9 out of 10: "What can I do to make you feel better?"

Ask Someone if They Are Upset with You Step 9

Step 1. Ask if there is anything you can do

It's possible that the other person has a good idea of ​​how you can help. She might say, for example, “Don't criticize me anymore at work meetings” or “I wish you would stop commenting on my appearance”. Accept her request not to repeat the mistake in the future.

Do not accept impossible requests. If the other person says, for example, “I want you to quit so I never have to see you again,” feel free to say no. This request is absurd

Method 10 of 10: "I'm sorry. Will you forgive me?"

Ask Someone if They Are Upset with You Step 10

Step 1. To mend your relationship with the other person, apologize and ask if they forgive you

Even if you don't think it was all your mistake, take responsibility for your actions. If you can understand why the other person was hurt, apologize sincerely. Acknowledge what you did wrong and ask her if she would be able to forgive you.

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