How to Know When a Girl is Hiding Something

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How to Know When a Girl is Hiding Something
How to Know When a Girl is Hiding Something

Everyone has secrets at some point in their life. When a girl is hiding something, it might not necessarily be a bad thing. For example, she might be hiding information about a surprise birthday party. However, of course there are times when secrets are more serious. There are ways to find out when a girl is keeping a secret, many of which are supported by psychological and scientific research.


Part 1 of 2: Reading the Signs She's Hiding Something

Know When a Girl is Hiding Something Step 1

Step 1. Recognize when it looks weird

If it's someone you spend a lot of time with, it will be quicker to recognize that she is behaving differently or strangely. Pay close attention and try to remember to keep watching her when she looks different.

Know When a Girl is Hiding Something Step 2

Step 2. Keep an eye out when her behavior changes

When you recognize that there is something odd about the girl, start paying attention to when her behavior changes. Look for signs and patterns that will give you a better idea of ​​what might be causing this behavior change.

  • Does her behavior change when a certain subject comes up?
  • Does it change when someone is around?
  • Does she seem uncomfortable when she's in a specific location?
  • Are there any events coming up that she doesn't want to talk about?
Know When a Girl is Hiding Something Step 3

Step 3. Make observations about different behavior

If you know her well, it's easy to recognize differences in the girl's behavior. When trying to guess the cause of secrets, try to look for any habit or hint that she is lying or hiding something.

  • She seems to be thinking a lot.
  • Her eyes are looking all the time for an exit.
  • The girl takes frequent breaks when she answers something.
  • She changes the subject abruptly.
  • The girl folds her arms across her chest or protects other vulnerable areas such as her throat.
  • She shares too much detail.
  • She leans back, as if trying to physically distance herself.
  • The girl's arms and legs are very still.
  • Lack of emphatic gestures.
  • She stops using “I” phrases and refers to people by name instead of “he” or “she”.
  • The girl avoids answering questions completely.
  • She clears her throat and swallows frequently.
Know When a Girl is Hiding Something Step 4

Step 4. Consider the seriousness of what she might be hiding

When looking at the behavior and what causes it, think about what she might be hiding and the seriousness of the matter.

  • If you're in a relationship with the girl, maybe she's hiding a betrayal or practicing a bad habit she promised she would stop, like smoking. Or, if it's just a friend, maybe she's hiding what she said behind her back.
  • There is always the chance that the girl is hiding something positive, like a gift or a surprise party. It's important to give her the benefit of the doubt.
Know When a Girl is Hiding Something Step 5

Step 5. Write down your suspicions to prepare to confront her

Create a list of all your suspicions or the details of a bigger suspect so that you feel more prepared when confronting them. In addition, you can also cite those behaviors, words or actions that made you doubt her.

  • Include anything strange about the girl's behavior, including things she said, the ways she acted, and strange behaviors she exhibited.
  • Understand that your observations about subjects or people can stimulate these changes in her behavior.
Know When a Girl is Hiding Something Step 6

Step 6. Ask a mutual friend's opinion about your suspicions

Choose someone who knows both of you and ask if the person noticed the same strange behavior. This friend can know her side of the story and can help you understand if there is a reason you are not aware of that explains the behavior or if your observations are accurate.

Part 2 of 2: Confronting the Girl About What She's Hiding

Know When a Girl is Hiding Something Step 7

Step 1. Find a time to talk with her

Depending on the type of relationship, you can try talking to the girl at her house, if she is your girlfriend, or you can meet for lunch, for example.

Avoid letting her know you want to talk about what she's hiding if you make an appointment in advance. This will likely cause her to decline the invitation and make it difficult for you to find out what's going on

Know When a Girl is Hiding Something Step 8

Step 2. Bring the subject up calmly and rationally

There's always the possibility that the girl will explode when you bring up the subject, so try to keep things under control by speaking calmly.

  • However, that doesn't mean you should be evasive or vague about your purpose in the conversation. Be clear and straightforward about the secrets the girl is keeping so she understands the conversation.
  • “Looks like you're hiding something from me. My relationship with you is very important and I wanted to talk about it.”
  • “I've noticed some interesting reactions to the comments I've made recently. I don't want to offend you, but it looks like you're hiding something. Can we talk about this?”.
  • “I noticed that you've been very nervous when I'm around you. Is there anything you want to share with me?”.
Know When a Girl is Hiding Something Step 9

Step 3. Explain your thoughts and observations by showing that you are concerned

You're having this conversation because you're worried about what's going on and you want to work things out. Help her understand this with your words and gestures.

  • “I noticed that when Bruno is around, you are a little distant and closed off. I was trying to figure out what happened to make you change so much when you're around him. I'm here to help you".
  • “Recently, you've been a little low-key and reserved when we talk about our plans with other people. I'm worried and wanted to know if there's anything you need to tell me.”
  • “In the last math class, you looked very scared and uneasy. I'm at your disposal if you want to talk about what happened to make you that way."
  • “You told me that day that you stayed at home reading a book until you fell asleep, but Paula said you guys went out dancing. I'm really upset that you lied to me and I wanted to know why you thought you had to do this.”
Know When a Girl is Hiding Something Step 10

Step 4. Listen carefully to her response

Remember to stay calm and give her the opportunity to respond without interrupting. If the girl still looks like she's hiding something, say you're noticing some specific behaviors that indicate she may be lying, such as not being able to maintain eye contact, stopping frequently when responding, or talking too much detail. Then ask her again to tell the truth.

  • If she keeps hiding what's going on, you need to consider the value of that friendship or courtship. What does it really say about your relationship with the girl if she doesn't tell the truth?
  • “I heard you say that…”.
  • “I understand that you feel…”.
  • “Thank you so much for wanting to talk to me about this, but I feel like you're still not being honest. Can you speak the truth?”.
  • “I'm glad I had the opportunity to talk about it, but it looks like you have more to tell that you're still hiding. Please share with me”.
Know When a Girl is Hiding Something Step 11

Step 5. Give yourself time to process what she shares

If she ends up telling the truth about what you've been hiding, take time for yourself to process it all, especially if it's something negative.

  • Think about the girl's reasons for keeping it from you and the validity of those reasons. Should she have been honest from the start or was secrecy completely normal?
  • Assess the relationship and whether it was her right to withhold this information from you. Think about what can be done to make things better.


  • Always give the girl the benefit of the doubt before imagining the worst.
  • Be open to what she has to say, as it may not be what you expected. Try to talk with an open mind and a willingness to listen.


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