Fighting with a brother or being fed up with a roommate are common situations and likely to happen to anyone. In this type of circumstance, it is normal to want a little privacy and try to distance yourself from the person who lives with you. This distance, by the way, is important for both! It's the space you need to clear your head and reflect on events and what to do next. When ignoring someone, it's essential to create both physical and emotional distance, and learn how to best deal with your emotions. When you feel ready, talk to your colleague and try to reach a consensus.
Method 1 of 4: Minimizing Contact
Step 1. Be polite but objective
It is possible to limit contact without sacrificing good manners. Be polite and respectful, but don't feel obligated to have long conversations with the person. Try to make her realize that you don't feel like a lot of chat.
When a question is directed at you, respond with a “yes” or “no” without further ado
Step 2. Offer neutral responses
Don't feel pressured to answer something if the question or comment makes you angry. Your friend's intention, sometimes, may be just to burn your patience. In such cases, simply ignore him and don't let yourself be affected by any immature and impertinent attitude.
- It's really boring to live with someone who's always being a pain in the ass. If your colleague wants to talk and you don't feel like it, find a way to go off on a tangent. Politely say something like "I know you need to vent about what's going on at work, but right now isn't a good time for me."
- Avoid emotional reactions. Take a deep breath and respond in a calm tone of voice.
Step 3. Control your nonverbal behavior
Observe your body language and gestures in front of the person. Avoid rolling your eyes, grumbling or giving you disapproving looks. Even without verbalizing a word, your gestures can say a lot.
Keep your face and body neutral. Don't tense your limbs and don't show any emotion through facial expressions, no matter how hard your coworker tries to piss you off
Step 4. Don't react to harsh words
It's hard to ignore a person in the face of mean words. If your friend tries to humiliate you or treat you with disrespect, the best thing to do is ignore what he says. Don't give him a taste of leveling down! As angry as you are, don't say anything.
- You can avoid the argument by saying "I'm not interested in this conversation, especially with you yelling at me." Then just walk away.
- Don't be shaken by the negative behavior of others. Imagine you are inside a bubble that serves as a shield for insults and criticism.
Method 2 of 4: Administering Shared Space
Step 1. Use headphones
To ignore the other person's noise, put on your headphones and choose a relaxing repertoire. If you want to raise the vibe, choose more upbeat songs.
To completely muffle the noise of the noisy individual, prefer noise canceling headphones
Step 2. Create partitions
Think about the best way to physically ignore your roommate. Use the other bathroom (if any) and avoid entering the room it's in. When the guy is watching TV in the living room, for example, go to his room.
Do you share the same bookcase? Delimit the spaces and make it clear that each person can only use the designated shelves
Step 3. Follow different schedules and routines
Does he sleep late? So get up early and leave for work before your colleague gets up. If he usually stays home on weekends, leave. Adjust your schedule for even the most insignificant things: when he's brushing his teeth, stay in bed or have breakfast right away. Stay tuned to his schedule to avoid unpleasant encounters, especially if you share the same room.
Sleep or wake up at different times from his. For schedules with similar schedules, make some adjustments by creating extra activities. You can wake up early to run and leave the house before your partner wakes up
Step 4. Spend more time away from home
One of the best ways to distance yourself is to spend more time outside. Rather than heading straight home after work or school, stop along the way to visit a friend, walk in the park, shop or hit the gym. The less time you spend in the residency, the less likely you are to encounter the target of your dislike.
- Plan some after-school or after-hours activities, especially when you know the person will be home. The bonus of this attitude is a much more active social life!
- If you study, look for an after-school occupation, such as a sport, language course, or any other extracurricular activity.
Step 5. Avoid shared activities
Choose anything to do that doesn't involve your colleague. If you often watch the same TV show together, for example, watch it at another friend's house. When going to the supermarket, go alone or call someone else. Take a break from these activities where he is always together.
- If the guy is counting on your presence or help (taking a ride with you, for example), let him know in advance that he won't be available and that he needs to look for another alternative.
- Stop hanging out with the crowd for a while, if the group of friends is the same.
Method 3 of 4: Taking care of your well-being
Step 1. Breathe deeply
Try to find a way to calm yourself in the face of your colleague's negative habits so that you don't compromise your well-being and emotional health. Start by doing deep breathing exercises to calm your body and mind. Breathe in and out calmly.
After a few cycles of breathing, notice how you feel. If you're still not calm, continue breathing deeply until you feel better
Step 2. Try to quiet your mind
Find ways to let go of stress, especially if you want to avoid someone you don't get along with very well. Look for relaxing activities like yoga and meditation. Making time for pleasurable activities is a great way to relieve tension and have fun at the same time.
Exercise is also a great haven for well-being, and it also makes your body work better. Not into the gym? Try taking a walk, jogging, cycling or taking dance lessons
Step 3. Spend more time with friends
Try to stay away from the drama with your colleague and enjoy having fun in the company of others. Leaving home to be with those who really care about you will help you feel much more excited and relaxed. Whether to vent about the situation or just to pass the time, your true friends will always be by your side.
Talk to someone you trust about what's going on at home. The support of friends can be liberating, even if they can't do anything effectively
Step 4. Spend some time alone
Try doing new things without anyone's company, this will help boost your self-knowledge. Alone time will even be good to increase your productivity in the things that demand special attention.
- Journaling, creating a blog, and engaging in artistic pursuits are more solitary (but fun and enriching) ways to pass the time.
- Taking long walks or spending more time outdoors are refuges for those who need to share a room with someone.
Step 5. Talk to a therapist
Difficulties in dealing with stressful situations like this are absolutely normal. In these cases, the ideal is to go to therapy, looking for a professional who can help you better manage your emotions and stimulate your skills and productivity.
Look for a psychology or psychiatry professional through your health plan or by referral from a friend. Psychology universities usually offer assistance at moderate prices or even free
Method 4 of 4: Making Changes to the Environment
Step 1. Explore the options
Living with someone in your family, being a minor, or being tied to a contract are reasons that can make you stuck with the person you don't like. Think of some alternatives that might help you change your circumstances, even if they are temporary.
- Study the possibility of sleeping once a week at a cousin's house or spending the holidays with that aunt who lives in another city.
- If you are stuck in a contract with the property owner, try to get a new roommate. In the last case, pay the fine and look for another place to live away from the scam.
Step 2. Find another place to live temporarily
If you can afford to stay at a friend's house for a while, go. It's not the ideal situation, but at least you'll be away from the person who's bothering you for a while and you'll be able to think more clearly about ways to resolve this situation.
- Sleep a few days a week at a friend's house or, if your parents are separated, spend time at each other's.
- This solution is temporary. The idea is to take the time to think about how to solve the problem at once.
Step 3. Move to another place
Circumstances can get to an impractical point! If that's the case, and you have the possibility to move house, do so as soon as you can. It may not be feasible to move right away, but you can start making plans now. Think about whether continuing to live with this person, even if you like them, is going to be good or bad in the long run. Detachment can even help to save the relationship.
- Moving may not be a viable option if you are under the age of 18, if you do not have the financial resources to do so, or if you are dependent on your family.
- Try to find an interim solution, at least until you are able to find a new place or save more money.
- Do you live with someone who is really important in your life? Consider seeking therapy to try to improve the relationship. Working through difficulties can be good for both of you, and it can even help to save the relationship.
- Sooner or later, you're going to need to stop ignoring the person. When you both have free time, stop and talk open-heartedly about the problem.
- Ignoring your colleague is just a palliative situation after a fight. A serious conflict requires an equally serious conversation or a more drastic solution. An outsider can help mediate this situation and suggest alternatives so that you can resolve the clash.